Tiptoe
by Jenasys Loveless Lovecraft
Summary: Natasha Romanoff finds herself in the middle of the zombie apocalypse. After saving Merle from the rooftop, she begins the mission to return him to his brother. Eventual RickxNatasha
1. Watch Me Fall

**Disclaimer: Do not own.**

* * *

**Chapter One- Watch Me Fall**

"_**In the morning light let my roots take flight  
Watch me fall above like a vicious dove  
They don't see me come, who can blame them?  
They never seem to catch my eye but I never wondered why"**_

* * *

"Natasha, I need you over here," Clint spoke over the com link.

The redhead yanked her knife from the walker's skull and sprinted down the sidewalk toward her partner. She ducked into the alley, slamming the gate behind her so nothing could follow. Half a dozen monsters were crowding around Clint. Natasha raised her knife again, rushing forward to pick off the ones closest to him. Numerous bodies already littered the ground around them.

"You have to help him," Clint said when all the walkers were dead. He nodded to a man leaning on a fire escape a few floors above them. "Somebody handcuffed him to a roof. He said he cut his own hand off and cauterized it himself, crazy bastard."

Natasha started up the stairs. "Help me get him down." She shouldered most of his weight, maneuvering down with Clint's help.

"We've got to get out of this city," she told him. "It's overrun, there's nothing we can do."

Clint stayed at the bottom of the fire escape. "He can help with that. Before he passed out, he was babbling about a brother. They've got a camp nearby."

"We'll figure it out, let's just get him and go. What are you waiting for?"

"I can't go," Clint said.

"Why?" she snapped. Then she turned to face him, her eyes widening when she spotted the angry red bite marks on his arm. She shook her head, not willing to believe it. "Clint….no."

"Get him out of the city," Clint said. "Get him to his brother if you can."

"I can't leave you, I won't," she said firmly, swallowing the tears that were forming in her eyes.

This couldn't be happening, it just couldn't be. They were the best, the most highly trained assassins in the world. Together they had taken down drug lords, criminal masterminds, entire governments, a fucking demi-god and his alien army for Christ's sake. A rotting corpse could not be the cause of Clint Barton's downfall. And yet, it was.

"Go down the alley and go right. It'll take you to a side road. You can get out of the city that way," Clint told her.

"How do you know?" She sniffed.

He smiled sadly. "Rule number four."

Natasha smiled back, a lone tear rolled down her cheek. Clint wiped it away.

"Come with me," she nearly sobbed.

"I'll never make it. I can already feel the fever setting in." He shook his head. "Nat, this is the end. You can't help me, but you can help him." Clint, with his heart of gold was using his final moments to save her and this stranger. He pulled a small grenade from his pocket.

"You get ten minutes to get as far away as you can," Clint said. "I'll draw them to me and kill as many as I can."

Natasha started to shake her head. Clint roughly grabbed her by the shoulders and pulled her to him, kissing her lips briefly. He pulled back and looked into her eyes. His next words would be his last.

"I know you think I'm dumb for always keeping you alive but I do it because I know you better than you know yourself. You're good," Clint said. "You're a better person than you think you are. You were trained for disaster situations, if anyone can make it through this, it's you. I want you to make me a promise."

"Anything," she said immediately.

"Mourn me." At her bewildered expression, he went on. "I know you and I know you stuff your emotions down instead of facing them. That's who you were before me and I don't want you to go back to that. I want you to mourn properly. Cry for me."

Natasha's heart was breaking, but she nodded anyway.

"Now you go," he said. "You get him out of Atlanta and you save as many people as you can." The fence behind them rattled. "Go, Nat. Be safe."

"You know that I will," she promised.

He smiled down at her. "Watch your back. Don't let me die in vain." He paused, then whispered, "I'm sorry." He kissed her again then gently pushed her forward.

She bit the inside of her lip, struggling under the weight of the man. The emotions swirling in her chest threatened to crush her.

The archer walked to the fence and started to scream. He was angry at himself for getting bitten, angry that he never told Natasha how he really felt about her. His heart broke at the thought of what they could have been.

Tears began to stream down his face. He pulled his gun and fired off shots at the gathering walkers at the gate. Bullets hit and missed their targets, shells falling unheard to the ground. Clint's gun clicked, signaling he was out of ammo. He rubbed his face and looked through the fence at the walkers mindlessly gripping the fence, snapping their jaws. The little gate wouldn't hold much longer.

Clint waited another few moments before he smiled sadly at the grenade in his hands. Pushing away his fear, anger and sadness he finally pulled the pin.

* * *

Natasha heard him screaming and shooting as she put distance between them. She fought the urge to go back, remembering the promise she made to him. The explosion shook the ground under her feet. She was far enough away that she wasn't in danger but it made her pause. Her chest was cold and she felt as if she couldn't breathe.

Blinking away tears, she readjusted the man's weight and they went on. The man was semi-conscious, making it possible but very hard for her to move under his weight. Natasha became very aware of how vulnerable they were at the moment.

"That way," the man rasped, pointing. Natasha hadn't realized he was that alert. "It's our lucky day," he said when he spotted the big panel van parked under the bridge. Natasha struggled to get him in the cab before hopping in the driver's seat. She almost laughed when she saw they keys in the ignition.

"You're right," she said tonelessly. "It is our lucky day."

"Say, Red, what's your name?" he asked quietly.

"Natasha Romanoff. You?"

"Merle Dixon," he said with a cocky smile before drifting off again.

Natasha eyed the man's hacked off limb and knew he needed help. She drove until they reached a little town, stopping outside a doctor's office. Natasha left Merle sleeping inside the truck and hurried inside.

The lobby was destroyed; chairs overturned, glass, picture frames and paper scattered across the floor. Blood sprayed the walls, pooled in the carpet. Bodies littered the floor and there were no less than a dozen walkers inside the building. Natasha started to pack her bad with medical supplies; gauze, alcohol, antibiotics and pain killers.

Merle was still sleeping when she got back in the truck, however he woke when she started the van. She dropped the bag in his lap and threw it in reverse.

He opened the bag and smiled. "Well ain't you something." Opened the bottle and popped a few pills in his mouth. "Got anything to eat? Drink?"

"No," she said. "But we can check that gas station. We can find a place to stay for tonight and figure out where to go from there."

Merle only grunted in response. He was only thinking about his baby brother. He was too in and out to lead Natasha to the quarry and he would never make it on his own. Merle Dixon never needed anything and he certainly never had to ask a woman for it.

Natasha parked in front and started around to help Merle.

"I don't need your damn help," he snapped at her. She stepped back with an eyebrow raised, but let him climb down himself.

They piled everything useful into the back room, where they decided they would sleep. Natasha waited for Merle to fall asleep before she went out into the front of the store to keep watch. At some point, she fell asleep herself. Jolting awake the next morning when a trash can overturned outside. She drew her gun and went out the back door, aiming at the face of a dark skin woman.

The woman had a long sword in her hands and two walkers chained to her belt. Natasha looked her over. "How did you get that cut?"

"Jumping over a fence," the woman replied flatly. "I'm not bit."

"What with the pets?" Natasha asked, tipping her chin to the walkers.

"They don't attack each other. I can walk through crowds of them unnoticed."

"Your blood attracts them," Natasha said, looking behind the woman to a small group of walkers coming toward them.

"I know. I've been looking for medical supplies, can't find any. You ready to point that thing somewhere else?"

Natasha lowered her gun, pushing the door open. "Come on, leave them out here."

The woman hesitated, then did as Natasha asked. Wrapping the chains around a pole and hurrying inside.

The redhead instructed her to sit on the counter so she could dress the wound. Silently, she complied.

"Thanks," she muttered, sliding down.

Natasha shrugged, packing her things up. Remembering her promise, she turned to the woman. "If you're interested, you can travel with me and my friend. He's dead set on finding his brother, I'm going to help."

"I'd rather go alone," the woman said.

The redhead nodded. "Just a though. You're welcome to tag along if you change your mind. What's your name?"

"Michonne," she said, relaxing a little.

"I'm Natasha."

"I get the feeling you and I are a lot alike. Another lone wolf like me. You've got someone with you though, why?"

"You're right, I do prefer to be alone. But I made a promise to someone," she stopped there.

Michonne just nodded in understanding. The women fell silent, enjoying the camaraderie they seemed to be sharing.

Natasha stood and went into the back room, returning with a bag of supplies. She handed it to Michonne, who looked up in confusion.

"If you won't go with us, I can at least give you something to help," Natasha explained, feeling very out of character.

The other woman nodded. "Thank you."

Natasha returned it. "It's the least I can do."

Michonne picked up the bag. "I'll be going then." She stopped at the door to look at her new companion. "Be safe, friend."

"You, too," Natasha said. Then the woman pushed the door open and walked out the door.

Natasha sat on the floor, listening to the chains rattle as Michonne gathered her walkers and left. She wasn't very good at the whole making friends thing, she thought.

Merle woke up some time later, anxious to get on the road. Natasha didn't tell him about Michonne, there wasn't any reason to and he didn't seem to notice some of the supplies were gone. They ditched the big truck and settled on a quieter, more fuel efficient Nissan. They loaded up and were on the road within an hour.

* * *

The rock quarry was empty, dotted with graves and the lingering smell of smoke. Natasha and Merle followed the note to the CDC and found it had been leveled by a massive explosion. Bodies littered the ground and a fire was still burning.

It was recent, very recent, Merle realized. If Daryl had come here and gotten inside, he was dead now. Merle was distraught at the loss of his brother and Natasha understood.

They hit the road, driving aimlessly. Looking for safety anywhere they could find it. Natasha had planned on leaving Merle with his brother and going off on her own. She couldn't just leave him now, knowing Clint wouldn't want her to. So she stayed. She hadn't let herself really think about him. Even though he had told her, made her promise that she would mourn him properly, she hadn't. She'd kept the promise to keep Merle alive, that was easy.

Facing her feelings wasn't.

"What's the matter with you?" Merle called. He was sitting on top of a desk, looking out the window. They were camped out in a church tonight, locked in the small office. She was against the wall, next to the door.

"Just thinking," she answered.

"'Bout Clint?"

Natasha jerked in surprise, her eyes going wide. She had never told Merle his name.

"You say his name sometimes when you sleepin'," Merle explained. "Figure it's bout time for you to talk about him."

"There's nothing to say."

Merle grunted. "Ya know, my daddy used to beat me. Till I got big enough and started fightin' back. He started on Daryl then. He was a little ol' thing, my brother. Firecracker when ya pushed his buttons just right. I got hooked on drugs, fell in with the wrong people, you know that much."

She nodded, remembering the argument they had about him staying sober.

"I tried to protect Daryl, stop daddy from gettin' him. Sometimes I wasn't there, sometimes I got there too late but was too fucked up to do anything but watch.

"His back was all scarred up, tore all to hell from that belt of daddy's. It was my responsibility to protect him, keep him alive. And I failed. During these times…" he trailed off, shaking his head. "One mistake can mean dead. Think its worse to lose the only thing ya got than to die yourself."

"Yeah," Natasha agreed. "It is." She was quiet for a long time. "We were partners for a government agency called SHIELD."

"Never heard of it."

"I know. It's top secret, need to know only. Chances are, if you knew about us, you didn't live long after hearing about us." She shook her head and began to tell him about how Clint found her. "All these years, we took care of each other, fought and killed together. And all it took to end us is a mindless, rotting corpse."

"One mistake," Merle repeated sadly.

"All it takes," she finished, leaning her head back against the wall.

Merle looked out the window. "Ya know, I can't help but think Daryl might be alive. I know what the CDC looked like but maybe they didn't make it there or got detoured. I just don't know for sure, that's the problem."

"Don't worry yourself to death over it," she told him. "If he's out there, he's surviving and you'll find him eventually. The world's getting smaller, there's less and less of us everyday."

Merle didn't answer. After a few moments he went out into the main part of the church to keep watch. Natasha thought about what Merle had said. Clint's face flashed in her mind. Her wall broke down and for the first time in decades, she cried. Her chest ached, heart breaking for all the things she wanted to say to him but never had the nerve to. When Merle came back, she didn't even notice until he was sitting next to her with an arm around her shoulders.

* * *

Sophia had waited for Rick to come back, watching the walker stumble after him. Then she tried to go back to the highway, back to her mother. A walker cut her off forcing her into the woods and she ran, clinging to her rag doll. When she looked behind her here were a dozen walkers following her.

She ran harder, tears falling from her eyes.

* * *

**A/N: So that's a start. This has actually been written for months and I'm just now getting around to posting it. Let me know what you think. Next chapter: We meet someone from the comics. But, who? **

**~JLL**


	2. Don't You Ever Wonder

**Disclaimer: Do not own.**

* * *

**Chapter Two- Don't You Ever Wonder **

"_**I'll stop the whole world  
From turning into a monster,  
and eating us alive  
Don't you ever wonder how we survive?"**_

* * *

Merle stepped over a fallen log, listening for the sound of an animal nearby. He was learning to use a rifle one handed, despite Natasha's arguments that he couldn't do it. Being short a limb wasn't going to stop him from getting something to eat.

He looked up when he heard the sound of footsteps. They were running too fast to be a walker. There was a flash of blue and he realized it was a little girl.

"Hey!" he called.

She slid to a stop and ran in his direction. "They're coming! At least ten," she huffed.

Merle looked behind her, seeing what she was talking about. He pulled her along with him back to the church. As much as he hated to admit it, he couldn't fight off a dozen walkers with one hand.

Natasha's eyes widened only a little when Merle came back with a little girl. "Not what I was expecting," she quipped.

He ignored her. "We gotta go. Bout a dozen walkers followed this girl, we ran into some more on the way here. Bout forty that I could see." He snatched his bags, while Natasha grabbed hers. Moments later they were jumping in the car.

The little girl sat in the back, crying softly until Natasha asked what her name was.

"Sophia," she said. "Daryl thought you were dead," she said to Merle.

The man started, turned to look at her. "I thought you looked familiar." To Natasha he explained, "She was with our group outside Atlanta. We went to the quarry, ya'll was gone though. The CDC too, we thought you were all dead."

Sophia wiped her face. "Walkers came and attacked. My dad got bit. Amy too. We had to leave. Daryl and Rick went back to get you but you were gone. He thought you were dead."

"I thought the same. He's okay though?"

She nodded. "Yeah."

"How did you end up in the woods? And where is the group?" Natasha asked.

Sophia told the story of what happened at the highway.

"We gotta get a map," Merle said. "Find out which way to go. We're all turned around, don't know where the hell were at."

"They might not be there by the time we get there," Natasha warned.

"I gotta try don't I? That's my brother. And that little girl's mama."

Finally, she nodded. "We'll give it a shot."

* * *

The next morning, Merle got the girls up and moving at daybreak. Having been cut off by the horde the night before, they were forced to stay inside for the night. They were walking from the building to the car when they heard it, a gunshot.

"Kinda fucking idiots going around shooting guns," Merle snapped, throwing the last bag in the car.

"What is its Rick?!" Sophia exclaimed hopefully. "He's still looking for me." She ran off toward the street before either of them could grab her.

Merle and Natasha sprinted after her, the former cursing the entire way.

Natasha reached her first, yanking her back to safety. A man called out to them.

"It's Rick!" Sophia insisted.

A man and two boys turned the corner in front of them, wide eyed and breathing heavy.

"That ain't Rick," Merle said, weapon raised. A crowd of walkers appeared behind them, stumbling along at a rushed hobble, falling over themselves as they went.

Merle ushered them all back down the street, hurrying back to the car he had waiting. Everyone piled in, doors barely closing before Merle threw it in gear and they took off, tires squealing. He turned down a street trying to get back to the highway, but a wall of undead greeted him. He cursed, threw it in reverse and went a different route. When they were driving along without undead hitchhikers, Merle slammed a hand down on the steering wheel. Sophia jumped.

"The road to the highway's blocked. Gonna take days for that heard to clear out enough for us to get through."

"What highway? What the hell you need to go there for?" the man in the back asked. "Headed somewhere?"

"Yeah, to my brother and his group. They're waitin' for us."

"You don't really think they're still alive do you?" the man snapped. "That horde came from the highway, anybody out there would be dead if they stayed there."

Merle drew a breath, preparing for tirade. Natasha cut him off. "Don't. Just leave it." She looked at the man in the back and told them their names. "Who are you?"

"Sergeant Abraham Ford. These boys are Ben and Billy."

"They yours?"

"Shit no. We were part of a bigger group and got cut off from each other. They're parents bit it. I just barely got them out in time. Be honest with you, don't know a fucking thing about kids," Abraham explained.

Sophia giggled.

"I know the feeling," Merle agreed, looking down at the girl.

* * *

The next morning, Abraham and Merle went on a run to check if the walkers had cleared out. They had grabbed a few things on the way back. Merle held out a bag to Sophia. "I don't know your size, I just guessed. Might be a little big but it ain't gonna kill you to wear it anyway."

Sophia gave him a smile and ran to the bathroom, excitedly picking through the things Merle had brought her. She was delighted to discover a pair of boots in the bag. Sophia had always wanted a pair of knee high boots but her father had never allowed her to have such things. Natasha wore a pair that Sophia admired.

The girl slipped on a pair of skinny jeans that were just a little loose on her hops and slid her feet into her new boots. She laced them up, smiling. After changing her shirt, she went back out into the room. Natasha had just finished zipping her own boots. She smiled at the girl's new outfit.

"Here," Natasha said, leaning forward. She showed Sophia how to hide a knife in her boot. "It's always a good idea to have two blades on you. One on your belt and one in your boot. That way if you're ever captured and they take the one on your belt, you still have the one in your boot."

"What the hell did you do before all this?" Abraham asked, overhearing.

"Government work," was all she said.

He snorted. "I was a Sergeant in the army, I know all about government business."

"If you're gonna be hiding knives on that girl, you ought to at least teach her how to use it," Merle interrupted, knowing Natasha didn't like talking about her past.

"She knows," Natasha told him.

"Yeah, she's been teaching me," Sophia added proudly.

"Killed a walker yet?" Abraham asked. The girl shook her head. "Well she ain't taught you enough has she?"

Natasha felt a rush of anger. She'd been forced to kill as a child, it wasn't on her agenda to go around forcing children to kill. On the other hand, it could save Sophia's life someday. This wasn't the same world anymore.

"She's not ready," Natasha said.

Abraham snorted again. "Ain't none of us ready. She's gotta learn sooner or later."

"I said no."

Abraham flinched at her tone, holding up his hands in surrender. "Whatever."

Sophia sat down next to Natasha on the bed. "What if I wanted to try?"

The redhead looked down at her. "They aren't people anymore, they won't stop trying to get you. You have to put them down, quickly and without hesitation or they will get you."

"I know. I want to try."

"Okay," Natasha finally agreed. "Come on then, I'll cover you."

The girls stood up and went into the parking lot. Natasha pointed at a walker nearby. Sophia gripped the knife, hands already sweating. She waited for it to come to her. Heart beating wildly in her chest, slamming against her ribcage. The stench hit her causing panic to swell in her throat. She whimpered and began to slash wildly at the oncoming walker. It leaned down to bite and she drove the knife upward, stabbing it in the neck. It stumbled back, the knife still embedded in its throat.

Sophia started to fumble for the knife in her boot when there was a flash next to her and the walker went down. She looked up to see Natasha wiping her knife.

The woman leaned over the corpse and pointed. "At your height, this is the pest place for you to aim for on a walker taller than you." She pulled the knife from its neck, wiped it and handed it back to the girl. "Try again."

"You didn't tell me before about where to aim," Sophia said, a little heatedly.

"You weren't in any danger, I was here all the time. And I wanted you to figure it out alone. You almost did." Natasha pointed to an approaching walker. "Now try again."

* * *

The herd cleared out the next day and the group was able to move on. They hadn't gotten far when the car ran out of gas and they were forced to walk.

There wasn't a town or gas station in sight. They almost couldn't believe it when they stumbled upon tent city. The atmosphere of the place was tense and no one seemed to want them around.

"We had some trouble a few days ago," one of the women explained. "A group of biters came through, one of the teen girls got killed. Her daddy blamed Lilly, the girl who was babysitting them. He attacked her, Lilly's boyfriend killed him. They left with a few others."

Natasha just nodded and walked away, feeling the eyes following her. Every either glared at Merle and Abraham or avoided them as much as possible.

"We can't stay here," Abraham said later.

"Nah, why not?" Merle replied sarcastically.

Natasha rolled her eyes. "These people are helpless. It's a wonder they're even still alive."

The kids sat across from the adults, listening to the conversation. Sophia glanced around. After what happened at the quarry she wasn't keen on sleeping in tents again.

Abraham sniffed. "I'll ask around and find out where the hell we are and how to get to the highway from here. We'll probably end up staying here tonight, though." He got up and walked away, the twin boys running after him.

"Are they part of our group now?" Sophia asked.

"No," Natasha answered.

"Why not?"

"We don't know who the hell he is," Merle said. "Where the hell he came from or who those kids are. We got our own group to get back to, can't be bringing strangers with us."

Natasha felt a little hurt at that. "So what did you plan to do with me?" she challenged.

Merle realized his mistake. "Ah, hell. I didn't mean it like that. You saved my ass in Atlanta, been taking care of Sophia too. Reckon her momma won't let Officer Friendly kick you out of the group. They'll let you stay. Probably kick me out though," he said bitterly.

"I'll tell them you're different," Sophia said. "I'll tell them you'll behave. But I won't tell them you're afraid of Natasha." She stopped suddenly.

Merle nearly choked. "Me? Afraid of little Red here? Where the hell did you get that idea?"

Sophia swallowed. "Well you always do what she says and just yesterday you said you had to do something or Natasha would kick your ass."

"Oh, hell. I meant I didn't want to have to hear her bitching," Merle defended weakly.

"Whatever you have to tell yourself," Natasha said.

Merle started to respond, a scream cut him off. All three of them jumped to their feet. Merle pointed at walkers coming through the trees into camp. People were already running and screaming.

"Formation!" Natasha yelled, angling herself to Merle's left while Sophia went right. They formed a small triangle, moving toward the cars. Occasionally, one of them swung at a walker. Their progress paid off and they reached the cars in little time at all.

"What about Abraham?" Sophia asked, jumping in the back seat. "And the twins?"

"I don't see them," Natasha said, putting the car in gear and reversing away from the group.

"There they are!" Merle shouted. "They're almost in the woods, walkers on their tail. We can't get to 'em without getting' ourselves killed," he reasoned.

Natasha drove away from the scene, keeping an eye out for Abraham or the boys but they were gone.

"Let's just find a place for us to stay tonight, figure out what the hell to do in the morning," Merle said, sighing heavily.

Sophia wiped her hands on her pants, then lay down on the back seat and started to cry. She had killed her first walker. It wasn't human, she knew. But he used to be. All she could think about was whether or not he'd had a family. Maybe a dog. What kind of car he drove, where he worked, how he took his coffee. How he got bitten. Did he die alone?

She wiped her eyes and forced herself to remember that whoever that walker was, he was dead now. How many people had he eaten or bitten? How many lives had he helped end? It was over now, Sophia had put him down. She'd done something good, she repeated over and over in her head. _I did something good_.

* * *

**A/N: A little more drama and maybe some relationships are developing. Next chapter: We catch up with Rick! Please review….**

**~JLL**


	3. Bleeding into Life

**Disclaimer: Do not own anything.**

* * *

**Chapter Three – Bleeding into Life**

"_**Freedom in a cage - no sun and too much rage  
I don't know how much I can take  
Push it down inside, but it knows just where to hide  
I know that "normal" is hard to fake  
Bleeding into life - it's like a thousand knives  
Are slowly turning me into this  
Why does it have to be like this?"**_

* * *

It was absolute chaos. Randall had slipped out of his chains, hit Shane with a board, took his guns and ran off into the woods. Daryl and Glenn had gone one way, Rick had Shane gone another.

"I hear something," Shane whispered. He pointed to his right.

There was a gunshot and Shane screamed, falling behind a tree. Rick pulled off his jacket, then his shirt and pressed it to the wound.

"Daryl!" Rick yelled. "Glenn!"

"Fuck are you doing?" Shane hissed.

"I'm going after Randall, Daryl or Glen will come get you, take you back to the farm." He stood up and took off, ignoring Shane's calls to come back.

"What happened?" Daryl asked, hurrying forward a moment later.. "Where's Rick?"

"Randall shot me, ran off. Rick went after him."

Daryl stood up. "Glenn, help Shane get back. I'm going after Rick." He was gone a moment later.

Shane winced when Glenn lifted him up but they made their way out of the woods as Daryl had instructed.

Daryl quickly caught onto the trail Rick was leaving. He crept along quietly, freezing when he heard the gunshot.

Randall led Rick far out into the trees, then hid behind one and waited for the lawman to catch up. He wasn't a good tracker and walked right past where Randall was hiding. Then the boy raised the gun and shot Rick in the back. The man went down and didn't move.

Daryl got there just in time to see Rick get shot. He raised his crossbow and put an arrow in the kid's head.

"Rick!" he called, starting forward. A sound to his left made him turn his head. Walkers. Dozens of them were coming right for him. They hadn't seen Rick yet. Daryl screamed drawing their attention. He would keep them from Rick if it was the last thing he did. His friend would not become one of those things.

Daryl turned, aimed at a nearby walker and shot. He fired off rounds all the way back to the farm, dismayed to see it already crawling with the undead, everyone was screaming and running for safety. He bit the inside of his cheek and ran forward.

* * *

Rick groaned, blinking against the blinding pain in his shoulder. He started to stand, horrified to see he was quickly becoming surrounded by walkers. One lurched forward, pushing him back to the ground. His shoulder exploded, sending a fresh wave of pain through him.

_This is it_, Rick thought. _This is how it ends_.

A flash of silver above him and the attack stopped. Rick blinked, seeing a hooded figure standing above him. The person leaned down and rolled him over to look at the wound.

"Who shot you?" the person asked, revealing herself to be female.

"I don't know. Randall?" he said, disoriented.

The woman said nothing, only nodded toward the hill before them. "There's a town nearby. We'll get you some medicine, treat your wound." She helped get his shirt off and ripped it so she could tie it around his wound.

"Are you alone?" he asked, standing up.

"I am, except for them."

Rick looked up, jumping back in alarm when he saw the limbless walkers.

The woman noticed and quickly explained their purpose. "They're harmless now. My name is Michonne."

"I'm Rick. Rick Grimes."

"Nice to meet you, Rick Grimes."

The walkers he'd seen before were all dead, but more were coming through the clearing toward them. Michonne noticed and began to lead Rick away. He walked beside her, glancing uncomfortably back at the walkers. It wasn't too long before they reached the house she was staying in. Rick begged her to go back to the Greene farm, Michonne refused. She gave him medicine, waited for him to fall asleep and went to check the farm out alone.

She stopped when she heard a gunshot and footsteps rapidly moving toward her. Michonne went forward seeing a woman trip and fell. She saved her, just as she'd saved Rick earlier.

Michonne pulled the woman to her feet. "Did you come from a farm?"

The woman's eyes widened. "Yeah, it's overrun. How did you know?"

"I have one of your people at a farmhouse. Rick."

The woman's mouth dropped open. "Oh, god, he's alive." She looked up. "The group will go to the highway, that's where we said we would go if something happened. We can go there, get the group and go to Rick. I'm Andrea."

"Michonne," the told her, following Andrea through the woods.

"We thought he was dead," Andrea said. She told Michonne about Randall. "Daryl said he saw him go down and didn't get back up. We thought he was dead."

"He's alive, for now."

They walked in silence for a while until they reached the highway clogged with vehicles.

"They're not here," Andrea said sadly. "Not anymore, at least." She pointed. "That was Carol's car. And we had food left on this car for Sophia. I can't believe they just left."

"They probably thought you were dead too," Michonne said. "Let's go to the house before Rick wakes up."

Andrea readjusted the bag of guns and nodded, following Michonne back into the woods.

* * *

Rick woke up, slightly disoriented. He could see someone sitting next to him from the corner of his eye.

"How long have I been out?"

"A few days," Michonne answered from the doorway. "You got dirt in your wound and got an infection. Lucky I had antibiotics though. We can move whenever you're ready."

"I want to check the farm," he said.

"There's no one there, Rick," Andrea said from the couch.

Rick turned to look at her. "Andrea? How did you get here?"

"Michonne found me. The farm got overrun with walkers. Hundreds, maybe a thousand. Everyone left."

"The highway-"

"-is empty. I checked. They left Carol's Cherokee there and the supplies we put out for Sophia are gone."

Rick covered his face with his hands, feeling the urge to cry. He sat up.

"No point sitting around here," Andrea said. "We're low on supplies. We should go soon."

"My family is out there!" Rick yelled. "I can't just leave. How do I even find them?"

Andrea didn't have an answer for him.

"I don't know if you can," Michonne said. "But we can try. When we go out for supplies."

Rick nodded, reaching for his shirt. "Let's get going then."

* * *

Merle, Natasha and Sophia ducked into a gas station, quickly emptying the place of walkers. They had finally made it to the highway and found nothing but cars and a smudged note on the windshield of a car. They waited three days there but no one came, so they left heading into another town nearby.

Merle was angry and upset at not finding Daryl, but he knew he was okay.

Sophia put their sleeping bags in a corner and began to search for food.

"Whatcha thinking bout, Red?" Merle asked. He spread a map on the counter. "Any ideas?"

"A few, none of them particularly great."

"Tasha!" Sophia hissed, running to them. "I hear voices out back."

The two adults shared a look as they drew their guns, aiming at the back door. Sophia hesitantly drew her knife, standing slightly behind Natasha.

There was a rattle of chains and the back door opened. A dark woman with a large sword entered. Natasha immediately recognized her from Atlanta.

"Small world," she said.

The woman nodded, raising her hands. "Getting smaller everyday."

"Michonne?" another woman called, entering the back door and freezing when she saw the guns aimed at her. Her mouth dropped open.

"Well, well, hey there, sugar tits," Merle said.

"Merle Dixon. We thought you were dead."

"Nah, not me." He shook his head. "Little Red here found me and took me in."

"I bet you were unconscious when she did. If she heard you talk she'd have left you where she found you," Andrea shot back.

"He's not like that anymore," Sophia said, finally moving away from Natasha.

Andrea's eyes widened, filling with tears. "Sophia? Oh my God, we all thought…hold on." She wiped her eyes and went out the back door, returning a moment later with a man.

Natasha and Merle finally lowered their guns, exchanging a look. Rick's own eyes welled up with tears when he hugged Sophia.

"We looked for you, every single day. Daryl especially," Rick told her. "He almost died bringing your doll back to your mama. She has it still, clings to it everyday just waiting to give it back to you."

Sophia cried and explained what happened. When she had settled down, she found some food and everyone sat down to eat. Sophia introduced Natasha and Andrea introduced Rick and Michonne.

Rick was weary about Merle at first but seemed to relax a little after a while. Natasha slipped away to lean on the counter, listening to Rick tell Sophia and Merle what they had missed on the farm. Michonne joined her after a moment and they stood together silently.

"They were all part of a group," Michonne commented. "They won't want to be separated again. You and I are the odd ones out."

"That's always nice," Natasha replied dryly.

"Look, I know I'm new to the group," Michonne started. "And we don't know each other but I need to know if we have a plan to go somewhere more permanent to stay."

"We're looking. You know I was traveling with Merle first."

"That racist hick?" Michonne scoffed.

"He's not so bad once you get past his bad mouth," Natasha replied. "I think it's mostly an act. He's been through some abuse. He says things to keep people from getting to close to him. It's why he clings to his little brother."

"You know this?"

"I inferred it. All he's talked about is finding his brother. Don't take anything he says to heart. Just ignore him."

Natasha could read past the coldness in Michonne's eyes and the way she kept eyeing Sophia. It was obvious.

"Like I was saying, Merle and I were looking for his brother. Ran into Sophia, who was from the same group. We tried to get to the highway but we were cut off by a herd. We finally ended up here," Natasha told her.

"Rick wants to keep looking for his family," Michonne said. "Winter is coming and we need a place to stay. That little girl night not survive the cold. She needs to be protected."

Natasha leveled her gaze on the other woman. "How old?"

"What?" Michonne snapped, jerking in surprise.

"Your daughter. How old was she?"

Michonne swallowed hard. "Seven," she said finally. "And nine."

"I'm really sorry," Natasha said sincerely.

Michonne looked away. "If that girl's mother is still alive, she'll give up her own life if it would keep the girl safe. We need to get her inside somewhere. I'll look for her mother myself, as long as she's safe."

"I'll talk to the others," Natasha promised.

"That's all I ask," Michonne said before walking away.

Natasha sat down, her back sliding down the counter as she did so. It was only a few minutes before Rick came over and sat down next to her.

"I just wanted to tank you for keeping Sophia safe. She told me all you did for her," he said.

"It wasn't a problem."

Rick shrugged.

Natasha shifted and began to lay it down for him. "Look, if you're going to travel with us, I think we should start looking for a place to stay. It's going to be winter soon. We can't live outside all winter."

"My family-"

"-is in the wind, I hate to tell you. They didn't leave you any clue where they were going or even which direction they were headed. You can't go around chasing ghosts and if that's what you want to do you leave now and do it alone. Sophia is just a little girl. Think of her as if she were your own daughter," she paused. "Would you drag her around the state looking for something that probably isn't there in the first place?"

Rick sat in silence for a long time letting Natasha's words set in. "I promised Carol that I would find her daughter and bring her back safely. I can't ignore that."

"You don't have to. We'll keep looking but she can't live like this all winter. Merle and I have put her enough looking for your group, we need to end it now. Put Sophia first, the rest of us can suffer," Natasha said. "And just think if we keep looking for your family and something happens to Sophia. You would never forgive yourself and how would you look her mother in the eye?"

Rick gave her an odd look and she knew she had said too much.

"Speaking from personal experience?" he asked. "What happened to you?"

Natasha stood up without answering and went to her spot in the corner. She lay down, facing away from Rick. Her heart was pounding and her forehead was sweating. Never before had someone read her so quickly. She tried to shake it off but found it difficult with Rick's eyes on her all night.

* * *

**A/N: And so it begins. Rick has joined our little group and already touching some nerves with our favorite heroine. Next chapter: A surprise. **

**~JLL**


	4. Moaning Alone

**Disclaimer: Don't own The Avengers or The Walking Dead.**

* * *

**Chapter Four - Moaning Alone **

"_**I'm down on my tail but I'm up and I can feel it again  
Angels wings unfold and the devil sitting moaning alone  
I've been down but I'm back in a magic zone"**_

* * *

Their little group found a way to work. Rick didn't think it was possible with so many personalities. Everyone had a job and they did it well.

Michonne and Natasha continued teaching Sophia how to handle a weapon. The girl could now handle a blade or gun as well as the rest of them. Rick tried not to think about what Carol would say if she knew.

The three women refused to do "women's work" as Merle had put it. They refused to be treated like housewives, so everyone took turns doing laundry and cooking meals. Merle went hunting and taught Sophia how to dress a deer.

The five adults took turns keeping watch, which meant they all got a decent amount of sleep. Normally, if Sophia had to do laundry, one of the adults went with her while two others kept watch.

Today, Merle and Michonne had gone hunting. Andrea was keeping Sophia company. Rick and Natasha were seated on the front porch of the house they'd been staying in.

"You don't talk much," Rick observed.

"I have nothing to say," she answered.

"You don't want to talk at all?"

She looked at him. "You're not usually so chatty, what's wrong with you?" she deflected.

He shrugged. "Just curious. You don't have to talk if you don't want to . But we've been traveling together a month and I hardly know anything about you. Except what Merle and Sophia have told me."

She glanced at him. "And what did they tell you?"

"Just how you found them. Sophia told me all the lessons you gave her. Merle told me how you found him in Atlanta and saved him."

"You're the one who handcuffed him, aren't you?" Natasha asked.

Rick looked down. "Yeah, that was me. I had a good reason, though."

She raised an eyebrow at him. "He told me what happened, with more colorful language than was probably needed."

"Got a mouth on him, don't he?"

"Oh, you have no idea." She chuckled.

They fell silent a few moments.

Natasha bit her lip in debate. Finally she spoke, "Do you remember the summer before all this happened? That alien attack in New York?"

Rick nodded. "Yeah, seems like so long ago."

Now she nodded. "I was one of the agents that helped end it. I'm Black Widow," she confessed.

"Wow," Rick breathed in astonishment. "All this time I've been traveling with a superhero."

She scoffed. "No, I'm no super hero. Master assassin, yes. Superhero, no."

Rick gazed at her. "Either way, that's pretty amazing."

Natasha didn't acknowledge that. "Your son, how old is he?"

"Almost thirteen, same as Sophia. Just a few months younger. Wait till I tell him I met an Avenger." He laughed. "Captain America was his hero."

Natasha smiled. "Actually, he's mine too. He's such a humble, noble guy. And he's been through something I can't even begin to understand and yet he still fights."

"Why's that?"

"Waking up in a new century, living in a time when you should have been long dead. Everyone he's ever known is dead. The love of his life is dead and he can still live on knowing that he'll never see her again."

"He fights in her memory," Rick mused. He looked at the redhead. "You've never been in love?"

She looked away. "Once. It didn't work and I've avoided it ever since. The last person I really loved was my partner, Clint. It was just a friendly love and guess what? He's dead too. Why would I keep going through all of that?"

"There's someone out there for everyone," Rick said.

Natasha scoffed. "That's a cliché only fools and children believe."

"Maybe you should start believing it," Rick said, looking at her with a thoughtful expression.

"Sorry, Rick, but people are becoming scarce in case you hadn't noticed," she said harshly. "It's hard to believe in something that doesn't exist anymore."

"It does," Rick argued. "Sophia loves you." He saw her expression and shook his head. "Don't you see how she started dressing? The boots, the hair, she's dressing like you."

"She's dressing in whatever we happen to find in her size."

"Okay. But she watches everything you do. When you compliment her, it makes her whole day. That day at target practice when you criticized her, it hurt her but it made her work even harder. She looks up to you. You say love doesn't exist in this world, Natasha, I say it's all we've got."

Natasha absorbed this but didn't comment on it. "I guess tomorrow we'll keep looking for a place to go. Seems like there's nothing out there for us," she said.

"There's something out there. Just waiting for us to take it," Rick said.

She looked at him but didn't say anything. Sophia came up then and handed them a plate of food. They thanked her and she left.

"My wife is pregnant," Rick blurted.

"I would offer congratulations if you didn't look so upset."

"Well, I don't think it's mine," he said quietly.

Natasha eyed him. "Wanna talk about it?"

He shrugged and began his story; getting shot, his coma, the quarry, the farm.

"I asked her, outright. Honestly. I told her, just tell me honestly, who did she think the father was?"

"What did she say?"

"That's just it, she didn't say anything. To me, that said more than she ever could." He hung his head.

"So your wife is out there, pregnant with your best friend's baby? And she thinks you're dead now?"

"Pretty much."

Natasha didn't know what to say, so she didn't say anything.

Rick sniffed. "So, how about you? Any family?"

"No," she replied curtly.

He held up his hands. "Okay, sorry I asked."

"My parents died when I was young. I don't even remember them," she explained. "The only other family I had was Clint."

"You know, you're always so cold and distant to everyone and you say you don't care, but you do."

Natasha glared at him. "You think so? I don't have any ties to any of you."

"And yet, you stay with us. You saved Merle in Atlanta and you didn't know him."

"It was Clint's dying wish," she snapped.

Rick paused. "Now we're getting somewhere."

She was seething, angry that he had pushed her into revealing something.

"What happened?" Rick asked softly. His face was so sympathetic, she didn't know if she wanted to spill her guts or punch him. She stood up without answering and went inside, ignoring his calls to come back.

She managed to avoid him until just before bedtime when he called them all into the living room.

"This house has been okay for the past few days," he started. "But we're too close to a major city. Merle and Michonne have come across two herds now and we've only been here three days. I'd say it's time to move on and find something else."

"Where do you suggest we go?" Andrea asked, crossing her arms.

"I don't know. There's gonna be something out there. I was thinking me and Natasha could go on a scouting trip, see what we can find."

"You can't go alone," Sophia said. "What if you don't come back?"

"I say we all go. That way we all have a say in where we stay," Andrea said. "No point in sending the two of you out to look then have to come all the way back here to get us. We should go as a group."

"She's right," Michonne agreed.

"I was only thinking about Sophia," Rick said defensively. "The sky has been looking dark for days, I'm afraid it might snow."

"She'll be fine, long as we watch her," Merle spoke up.

After some discussion, the group agreed to head out together the next morning. Merle took the night watch while the others lay down to sleep.

* * *

Sophia was following Natasha and Michonne through the town toward the car, they had quite a bit of things in their bag.

Rick, Merle and Andrea were standing by the cars, having already loaded their findings.

"Good trip?" Natasha asked.

Rick nodded once. "We got what we could find."

"Now what?" Andrea asked.

"There's a crowd of walkers moving in," Michonne said. "Couldn't tell how many and we didn't stop to count. We shouldn't stay here much longer."

Rick spread out the map. "There's a few small towns around, we can head that way. Look for a house to stay in for tonight, keep looking tomorrow."

They agreed. Rick, Natasha, Sophia and Michonne got into the car while Andrea climbed in the truck with Merle and they left the town behind.

It had only been a few minutes on the road when someone ran out in front of them. Rick hit the brakes and two more people ran into the road, waving their arms.

Rick looked at Natasha, raising an eyebrow. "What do you think?"

"Drive," she responded instantly.

"No," Sophia countered. "They need our help, we have to help them."

With a sigh, Rick put the car in park and opened his door.

Natasha jumped out a second later. "Rick," she warned.

"Let's just find out what's up," he said calmly. Natasha wanted to hit him.

Michonne got out of the car, followed by Sophia. Merle and Andrea were already making their way over.

"What's going on?" Rick called, remaining a safe distance away from the new people.

"One of our group is sick," one of the boys said. "We need help."

"If he's bit you gotta put him down," Merle called.

The trio started to babble about what happened. Their fear seemed genuine, so Rick volunteered to follow them. Natasha had a bad feeling in her stomach. When Rick started forward, her hand shot out to grip his arm.

"Something isn't right," she whispered.

He looked at her then over at the boys. "They're just kids."

"That doesn't matter."

He gently pulled away from her grasp and started forward, Natasha followed a few steps behind. Only a few feet into the woods, six men with guns jumped out, aiming at them.

"They left a car up on the road," one of the boys said from behind. Andrea, Michonne, Merle and Sophia joined them moments later.

"Pete, search them for weapons," the big guy with the shotgun said.

One of the men stepped forward and began patting the group down, tossing knives and handguns into a pile on the ground.

"Y'all were armed and ready weren't ya?" the man taunted.

"Even the little girl had a gun and knife on her," Pete said.

They'd taken all of Natasha's weapons. Everything of Rick's. Michonne, Andrea and Merle were defenseless as well. Pete had taken Sophia's gun and the knife on her belt but he had missed the one stashed in her boot. Sophia had to wait until the time was right to use it, she knew, she would only get one chance.

"My name is Danny," the big man said.

"Well, Danny, I'm Rick. What do you want from us?" Rick spoke up.

Danny laughed. "Nothing from you." He looked at Merle. "Or you." He smirked. "We have plenty of men around camp but currently have a shortage of women. They don't seem to last too long around our boys." The men around him chuckled.

Michonne shivered.

"I'm sure we can find a use for you ladies." He winked at Natasha. He stepped back and surveyed the group. Pointed at Rick. "You the leader of this outfit?"

Rick nodded. "Yeah, I guess so."

"Good," Danny said slowly, nodding. He waved two fingers, motioning the other man forward. "Come here a second."

Rick hesitated, then took a step forward.

Without warning, Danny nodded to two of his men, who grabbed Rick's arms and forced him on his knees. He made a fist and slammed it into Rick's jaw. Sophia squealed, but quickly silenced herself. When Danny stopped swinging, the men let go and Rick went on his hands and knees. Danny kicked him in the side, blood from Rick's face dripped into the dirt. One more swift kick put Rick on his stomach, gasping for air.

Danny nodded at Merle. Two men came forward to grab him but Merle fought against them. Sophia started to cry then. The girl turned to hug Natasha, hiding her face from the scuffle. She kicked Natasha's boot, causing the woman to look down. As discreetly as she could, Sophia leaned down and slid the knife from her boot.

Natasha glanced behind her, then at the men in front of her who were now forcing Merle to get on his knees. Rick was still lying motionless in the dirt. Natasha caught Michonne's eye and winked. The other woman nodded.

In one swift motion, Natasha kicked the man behind her. Michonne went to the right. Surprised, Andrea hesitated only a moment before jumping into action, grabbing one of the men holding Merle. He slapped her back but Merle was freed. Sophia ran to Rick's side, helping him to his feet. Someone grabbed her, spinning her around. She swung the knife, cutting into a man's stomach. Danny yelped and started to swing at her. Sophia aimed higher, cutting into his throat this time. His eyes went wide and his hands fell away from her. Sophia turned back to Rick , focusing on getting him to his feet.

Natasha had broken the neck of the first man, then the second one that tried to grab her. In little time at all she'd dropped half of the group. Michonne had gone for her sword. Within minutes the group of men were dead. These goons were no match for a highly trained assassin. She looked around and went to help Rick.

"Sophia, gather our weapons."

The girl nodded and ran off. Natasha put an arm around Rick's waist and lifted him up. He grunted in pain.

"Can you walk?" she asked him. A wheeze was the only answer she got. Sophia came back then. "Put my gun in my holster, give Rick his. Put my knife in my boot. We gotta move. These guys are probably part of a bigger group."

Michonne came up then and put an arm around Rick.

Merle's face was bloody but he was otherwise okay. Sophia walked close to him. When they reached the cars, Natasha and Michonne put Rick in the backseat of the car. Natasha got in with him, kneeling on the floor. Michonne got into the driver's seat, Sophia was turned around in the passenger seat to watch Natasha.

Natasha reached in her bag for alcohol and gauze. Rick had a nasty cut across his cheek.

"How do I look?" he whispered.

"Like a couple of rednecks curb stomped the shit out of you."

"Funny, I feel about the same."

Natasha's lips quirked and she started to unbutton his shirt. His chest already covered in bruises.

"At least one rib broken," she observed. He had a gash on his side that would need stitching when they were somewhere more stable. For the time being, she placed some gauze over it and taped it up, then tied Rick's shirt around his waist to keep pressure.

"There's a town up ahead," Michonne reported.

"We'll stop there, then. See what we can find for tonight," Natasha said. She fed Rick some pain medicine and told him to sleep. She would worry about wrapping his ribs later.

Michonne stopped the car, she and Sophia climbed out. Natasha followed a moment later. Creeping through the streets, Natasha felt a little bad for leaving Rick alone in the car. Just as she started to go back, a voice stopped her.

"Natasha! Merle!"

They looked around, seeing a man in the doorway of a church.

* * *

**A/N: Who do you think it is? Should be obvious, but we'll find out next time. Review?**

**~JLL**


	5. Shelter

**Disclaimer: Don't own the Avengers or the Walking Dead.**

* * *

**Chapter Five- Shelter**

"_**All of this around us'll fall over  
I tell you what we're gonna do  
You will shelter me my love  
And I will shelter you"**_

* * *

They looked around, seeing a man in the doorway of a church.

"Abraham?" Merle called back.

He started waving his hand. "Get the fuck in here! Now!"

A shot rang out then, hitting Michonne in the leg. She cried out and bent over a little. Natasha put an arm around her to help her run to the church. Abraham slammed the door behind them.

"What about Rick?" Sophia asked.

Natasha cursed herself. "He'll be fine, for now." Michonne slid to the floor, Andrea came over to help tend her wound.

"Who the hell was shootin' at us?" Merle snapped.

"Crazy mother fuckers," Abraham said. He looked at Natasha. "You know, we got out of tent city, chased by walkers. Just barely got these boys out. Got into town yesterday, got surprised by some biter fuckers. Billy got bit. We made a run for the church here and he decided he didn't want to put us in danger. So last night, he sneaks out, gets snatched by those crazy fuckers out there. _They ate his leg_. When he told them he was bit, they started trying to throw up what they ate of him. Then they beat the shit out of him and left him in front of the church. I went out to get him and the bastards shot at me."

They all absorbed this information silently. Outside a voice yelled, "Y'all are bout to be surrounded by roamers. All this noise we made with the guns and all. Don't think you'll be going anywhere tonight. So tomorrow these things clear out, we're gonna kill all of you."

Silence settled on them again. Ben, in the corner with his brother, started to cry.

"We've got to get out of here," Andrea said.

"You heard what he said," Michonne protested. "Those shots they fired off are going to bring the walkers down on us."

"We can't stay here," Andrea said helplessly. She looked at Natasha, eyes pleading. "What do we do?"

Natasha stared silently out the window. "There are two walkers in the parking lot. Andrea and I will go get them, chop off their arms like Michonne did. Use them to move through the horde to get Rick," she paused.

"Why not just get the cars then?" Sophia asked. "And why don't we just leave?"

"Too much noise to bring the cars here," Natasha told her. "Rick needs to be stitched up, I can't do that properly in the back of a moving car. I need to check his ribs as well. We get Rick inside, that's priority one. He can't stay out there all night; he's got a big gash in his side that needs stitching. He won't die of blood loss tonight but he'll lose enough to make him weak and we can't afford to lose him right now. We get Rick first. Then in the morning," she looked at Merle. "We track them down." Then to Andrea. "Get ready, we need to go soon."

* * *

The herd moved in quicker than they were used to, they must have been roaming nearby. But Andrea and Natasha had managed to make it to the cars and were halfway to the church when the streets started to get crowded. Even with blankets over them and Rick the walkers could tell something was up. Rick was being held up by the women, but was still limping and wheezing with every step.

Once they finally made it back inside, Natasha gave him more medicine and patched him up. When he fell back asleep, she left him to talk to Merle and Michonne. Sophia slipped into her empty chair, placing a cool rag against Rick's forehead.

"How's the kid?" Natasha asked, looking over at Billy.

"Not fucking good," Abraham said. "I'd say he doesn't have much longer. An hour or less."

"Did he say how many people there were that took him?" Andrea asked, joining them.

"He knows there were at least four."

"That helps a little," Andrea said sadly. "So what's the plan then, in the morning? Who goes?"

Natasha looked at Michonne, who instantly nodded. "I'll be fine."

"You and Merle can lead the way, you're trackers after all. Me, Andrea and Abraham will cover you. Can we trust that priest?"

"He seems harmless so far," Abraham said.

That didn't do much to reassure her. "The kids can stay with Rick, he can't move yet but he'll be fine to guard them here. Sophia can help."

Ben started to sob loudly in the corner. Abraham went over and a moment later announced that Billy was dead. Ben sat down in the floor and started to cry. Andrea went to sit next to Ben and whispered to him; the woman telling him about her own sister, Amy, who had been bitten and turned. The boy leaned against her and eventually fell asleep.

* * *

Natasha didn't wait for the morning. Andrea was on watch that night, so as soon as everyone fell asleep Natasha slipped into the back of the church. The priest, Father Gabriel Stokes, hadn't done a good job at barricading the place. He'd mainly closed and locked all the doors, making it easy for Natasha to pick a lock and slip out a window. Once outside, she grabbed a walker and dismembered it. She looped a small chain around its neck and pulled it along with her, as Michonne once had. She remembered which way the bullets had come from when they were on the street. When she'd gone to get Rick, she'd noticed the small patch of woods nearby where the leaves were thicker and the brush had been disturbed. Using this as her starting point, she hiked through the woods almost laughing at the clear trail the people had left behind.

They weren't doing a good job at staying hidden either. A fire was still burning outside and voices could be heard cheering and laughing. Natasha released her walker. There was a guard posted, but he was seated under a tree with a rifle next to him. And he was snoring. Natasha pulled her knife and went to work.

* * *

The next morning, Merle and Michonne led the others through the woods, following the trail that had been stomped out for them. They found the first body under the tree, only a little of him was left.

"Walkers," Andrea hissed.

The yard by the house contained a dozen walkers. Natasha moved first and began to cut them down, the others following behind.

"So much for that," Andrea commented, looking at all the bodies at her feet. She looked relieved.

"Yeah," Merle agreed, looking around.

"Let's see what they got in the way of supplies and get the fuck back to the church," Abraham suggested. The group looked at Natasha before going inside. They loaded up anything useful- avoiding any meat- and started back.

Just as they reached the back door, Michonne spoke, "I saw what you did."

Natasha turned to face her but didn't say anything.

"Last night, I saw you sneaking out and I knew where you were going. I couldn't let you go out alone so I followed you."

"I did what I had to."

"Why?" Michonne asked.

Natasha quirked an eyebrow in question.

"Why make a plan for us to go and kill them, then sneak out and go alone?"

"I was protecting the group."

"How?" Michonne demanded, stepping forward. "Protecting them from killing when they need to? That's not protecting, that's sheltering. We don't know that we're going to stay together, you know, we may get separated. What happens if one of them ends up out there without you and they don't have the guts to kill and they wind up dead?"

"Why aren't you including yourself in there? Why are you only saying them?" Natasha shot back, causing Michonne's eyes to widen a little. When she didn't answer Natasha went on, "I'm keeping this group safe no matter what. We can't afford mistakes. I let Rick get hurt before. It's not happening to anyone else."

Michonne stared at her and finally nodded. "Okay."

The two women finally went inside to questioning glances from Merle and Abraham, but no one said a word. They went back to their conversation over the map to find a way out of the town.

Michonne went to sit with Sophia by the door. Natasha took a seat on the floor next to Rick's palette. He had woken up and asked what was happening.

She handed him a plate of food, ignoring his question. "I hope you don't get used to being waited on," she quipped.

He smiled and dug into his food. Natasha sat quietly and waited for him to finish.

"As soon as you're up to travel, we'll move one," she said finally.

"To where?" he asked, sounding irritated. He opened his mouth to continue but she cut him off, "There's something out here. A place for us to call home."

"I used to think when this all started that it would end one day," Rick said. "We would find something safe. Secure. It's always out there, just beyond my reach. Like a beacon of hope begging me to keep going. I don't know if such a place exists anymore." He shrugged.

"Stop thinking," she said.

"What?" he half-laughed.

"You're thinking about your wife and son again. I told you, you're going to make yourself crazy."

Rick fell silent then asked, "What happened yesterday? Where did everybody go this morning?"

Natasha told him about Billy and the cannibals. "Nothing to worry about anymore."

Merle called Natasha to the door where he was standing with Father Gabriel. "We gotta get the hell out of here," he said. "Whole town's filling up with walkers."

They looked at the map. Merle spoke again, "It might not be the best idea for all of us to go this time, seeing' as how it didn't work out so well last time we all set out." His eyes glanced over Rick.

"I know," Natasha snapped, quickly collecting herself. "You and Michonne can go scouting, if she's up for it."

"Why them?" Abraham asked, a little bitterly.

"Merle is a tracker and a hunter, he will see the signs if there is someone or something nearby. If they are out there too long he can find something to eat," Natasha explained. "Michonne goes because her sword is quiet and she's the most comfortable taking a pair of walkers to fend off the others. They're the best choices to survive out there and make it back."

"Merle? He's got one hand," Abraham protested.

"Don't mean I can't kick your ass," Merle shot back, pushing off the wall.

Natasha pushed him back. "Just calm down, alright. Merle and Michonne are going. Abraham, you know you don't want to leave Ben alone right now." She gave him a pointed look.

"Andrea's with him," he protested weakly.

She quirked an eyebrow but said nothing more on the subject, she turned to Merle. "I'll have Sophia put some food in a bag for you. Head out when you and Michonne are ready."

"Yes, boss," Merle quipped, touching a finger to his eyebrow with a cheeky grin.

Natasha fought a smirk and rolled her eyes.

Michonne lingered next to Natasha for a moment. "Give us a week. If we're not back by then, leave without us."

"You'll be back," Natasha said confidently. She gave her friend a serious nod which Michonne returned with a hint of a smile. They broke apart, Natasha glancing out the window watching a few drifters in the parking lot.

Merle and Michonne came back to the door; the priest pushed it open then closed and locked it behind them.

Natasha stayed at the window, watched as they took down a pair of walkers, hacked off limbs and chained them to Michonne's belt. She watched as her friends drifted down the street out of sight.

"Do you think they'll come back?" Sophia asked suddenly.

Natasha nearly jumped; she hadn't heard the little girl approach. "Yeah, I know they will," she replied, managing a smile.

Sophia smiled back then went to sit with Andrea and Ben. Abraham stayed by the door with Gabriel, keeping watching. Not knowing what else to do, Natasha sat on her bad and cleaned her gun, eyes occasionally checking on Rick's sleeping form in the corner.

* * *

It was nearly a week before Merle and Michonne made it back to the church. With them, they brought supplies and news of an empty country club nearby that would give them safety away from the city.

"I'll get Rick," Abraham said, standing up.

"No, I will," Andrea cut in. Her friend was still quite injured and couldn't move far on his own. Though she thought Abraham was crass and rude, she trusted him. Just not with Rick's life.

Andrea looked to Natasha for back up.

"Abraham was no doubt a good soldier, he's strong and a good shot," Natasha said. "Andrea, you're great with a gun, but if you had to run I don't think you could handle Rick's weight. Let Abraham do it."

"Glad to know I have an opinion," Rick snipped from his corner.

Natasha ignored him. "That herd has mostly moved out but there are still plenty of stragglers. We go in this formation." She placed the note pad she'd been drawing on in the middle of their circle. "Abraham, Rick, Ben and Father Gabriel in the middle." She pointed at a dot. "Andrea, you're directly behind them, your back to Abraham. I'll be in the front, Sophia to my left. Then Merle, Andrea and Michonne. We'll form a circle around Rick and Abraham.

"Why is Sophia in the circle and not in the middle with us?" Ben asked softly, looking at his friend.

Natasha answered him, "Because she's been taught how to handle herself."

"She's just a little girl," Gabriel protested.

"She can handle it," Michonne chimed in.

"Honestly," Natasha started, looking at the priest. "I wouldn't put her on the front lines if I didn't have to. But Rick is down, Abraham is keeping him on his feet. You don't think you have the strength to handle Rick and you won't take a weapon. Ben is a child with zero self defense training. That leaves me with no other choice. All hands on deck here. Sophia will be fine, I'll make sure of it."

"You don't know that," he protested.

"I do know that. I taught her, after all."

Abraham quirked an eyebrow but said nothing. He lifted Rick up and pulled the gun from his belt. "Enough chit chat are we getting the fuck out of here or what?"

Sophia felt proud to fall in line between Merle and Natasha, fighting alongside the adults. Natasha noticed her excitement. "Focus, Sophia," she reminded her. "No mistakes."

The girl nodded, drawing her blade.

Natasha led the way out the door, everyone falling in line and began fighting their way down the street.

* * *

**A/N: Do you think Natasha was right or wrong for sneaking off from the group? Thoughts? **

**~JLL**


	6. Invisible

**Disclaimer: Do not own.**

* * *

**Chapter Six - Invisible**

"_**One step behind I'm close now  
Oh, can you feel me breathe  
Invisible inside your shadow"**_

* * *

Days later they were still in the country club. Merle had gone back out to hunt when he'd discovered the prison. Without a single kill on his belt, he hustled back to the group to give Natasha the good news. Rick had recovered but was still moving slow. He had been their leader before but Natasha was leading in his absence and was doing a good job of it, even if she was a tad ruthless.

"I want to see it before you say anything to the rest of the group," Natasha told Merle. "I want to look around there before we get anyone's hopes up." He agreed. She sought out Michonne then. "I'm heading out with Merle, won't be gone long. Keep an eye on things.

Michonne nodded in response, not questioning why Natasha would leave with Merle. They were only gone a few hours. When the duo returned, Natasha informed Michonne and they went to talk to Rick.

"Merle found something," she said, taking a seat on the steps next to him.

"What did he find?"

"Your beacon of hope."

He looked at her. "Is that right?" The man almost managed a smile.

"A prison. A few miles from here. It's on a hill, got security walls, guard tower-"

"-Infirmary, armory, cafeteria," he finished for her, a real smile on his face now. It faltered. "Overrun with walkers, ain't it?"

"I won't lie, there's a lot out there but we can handle it," Natasha said confidently. "I have a few ideas on how we can clear the yard out. It might look like a big job from the outside but if we break it down and do a little at a time we can handle it."

"I say we go for it," Rick agreed finally. "There was frost on the grass this morning. Winter is almost here. What have we got to lose?"

She didn't answer. "Let's get the group together, have a talk and start planning."

* * *

"A prison?" Andrea asked, incredulously.

"Yeah, a prison, you too good for it?" Merle snapped.

"How many walkers?" Abraham asked loudly.

"There's a lot," Natasha said. "But it can be handled."

"How?" This was little Ben, clutching Andrea's leg and looking terrified.

"Rick was a cop, Abraham was a soldier and I was a government agent," Natasha told him. "We're highly trained and it's our job to protect you. Along with Michonne, Merle and Andrea, none of us will let anything happen to you."

He seemed reassured by this and sat back as the adults continued their discussion.

"We're going to take this prison," Rick said firmly.

"Not you," Natasha said. "You've still got broken ribs, you're on sick leave."

Andrea looked around. "Can we do it? Just the six of us?"

Sophia's chest swelled with pride when she realized she had been included. "Yes, we can," the girl said firmly.

Natasha smiled.

* * *

Merle cut an entryway in the fence. Natasha took charge.

"Rick, Abraham, you go in this tower. Andrea and Sophia take that one." She pointed to her left. "Michonne, take Ben and draw as many as you can away. Pick them off through the fence. I'll close the inside gate."

Merle waited by the gate for everyone to get in position. "Watch your ass, Red." He pulled the gate open for her to get through.

Rick peered through his scope, following Natasha's progress across the yard. He picked off any walker that came within five feet of her. She had a gun and knife in hand but she didn't need them with Rick covering her. He didn't relax until she closed the gate and was in a tower of her own.

She glanced over at him, exchanging a smile. Truth be told, Natasha hadn't been that nervous running across the yard. She knew Rick had her back and that was all she needed.

That night, the group was gathered in the yard around a fire Merle had built. Sophia passed out bowls of food.

"That's his eighth time around," Andrea observed, nodding to Rick. "If there was a hole in the fence he would have found it by now."

Natasha shrugged. "He's just being thorough."

The blonde smiled. "You know what's funny, Natasha? You've known Rick, what, two months? Tops? And yet, you've supported him more than his own wife did. At least in the six to eight months I was with them."

"Which one was Rick's wife?" Merle asked, squinting his eyes.

"Lori," Sophia supplied.

Merle gave her a blank stare.

Andrea rolled her eyes. "Tall, skinny brunette. Got an opinion on everything."

"Oh, Olive Oyl," Merle said, remembering.

Michonne snorted, which caused Merle to smirk.

"I thought she was with that curly haired pig."

"That's Shane," Andrea explained. "He and Rick were partners, best friends."

Natasha spoke up. "So that's the real father of her baby?"

"Rick told you?" the blonde asked.

"This is some Jerry Springer shit right here," Merle laughed. "Two cops, partners and best friends. One ends up in a coma, the other knocks up his wife. You can't write this shit." He laughed loudly.

Abraham got into the conversation. "I'm gonna need you to start from the beginning on this."

Andrea sat forward, eager to explain. Natasha had heard enough. She stood up from her spot, carrying an extra bowl of food to Rick.

"Find any holes?" she asked as she neared him.

He shook his head. "I think we're safe for the night."

Natasha smiled, pushing the bowl into his hands. "Eat," she commanded, crossing her arms and leaving no room for discussion.

Rick smirked and began to eat.

"So, boss, what's the plan for tomorrow?" Natasha asked, teasing a little.

Rick smiled. "Hey, I'm on sick leave. You're in charge, remember?"

"You aren't allowed to fight. Nothing wrong with making plans."

He nodded. "We go in and take the prison. Sophia, Ben and I will stay at the gate, drawing as many away from you guys as possible."

"Sophia should come in with us. Make it an even six."

"You think she can handle that?" Rick pointed at the walkers ambling on the other side of the fence.

"I'll talk to her, it's up to her what she wants to do. But I think she can handle it."

"It's ours by sundown," Rick stated.

Natasha smiled then. "Bet you never thought your beacon of hope would be a prison, did you?"

He almost laughed at that, just turned back to the group, an arm going around Natasha's shoulders. Though she flinched at first, she didn't pull away.

* * *

Early the next morning, the air around the survivors was tense. Gone was the light conversation and teasing from the night before.

Natasha pulled Sophia aside. "Rick wants you to stay with him and Ben and help pick off the walkers through the fence. I told him you could handle going inside. It's your choice."

Sophia couldn't deny that she wanted to stay at the fence but she would feel safer with Natasha and Merle.

"I want to go inside with you," she decided.

The redhead nodded. "Stay in formation, no mistakes." She turned to leave.

"Hey, Tasha," Sophia called softly. She paused, her mouth open. "I need to tell you something."

"What is it?"

Sophia bit her lip.

"We can talk later if you need to," Natasha said, sensing Sophia's struggles. The girl nodded and followed her back to the others. Rick was waiting by the gate with Ben. When everyone was ready, he pushed it open, snapping the clips in place behind them.

Natasha, Sophia, Merle, Michonne, Andrea and Abraham quickly fell into a circle, facing outward. They moved as one, corpses dropping left and right. Sophia broke formation once and was immediately reprimanded by Natasha.

Michonne spotted another gate standing open and yelled for Natasha. The two women ran over, closing the gate together. Michonne locked it with another pair of clips. Natasha's blade flew over her head. The woman turned to see a walker's face inches away from her. Natasha pulled her blade out and the corpse fell. She nodded her head in thanks and it was returned by the redhead. The yard was full of bodies, no more left on their feet.

"That's a civilian," Merle pointed out a young woman in a skirt.

"Think there's a wall down somewhere? We can't fix that," Andrea said.

"We'll figure it out," Natasha said calmly. "Let's go clear out a block and get everyone inside before dark."

* * *

Natasha was on watch in the guard tower when Rick climbed up.

"Anything?" he asked, leaning on the rail next to her.

She shook her head. "Just the ones out there." She glanced at him. "You come out here for a reason?"

"Just wanted to say you're going a good job as leader. Maybe I should pass the captain's hat over to you."

"These people need you," she argued, shaking her head. "I'm a cold, calculating, pessimist. You're honest and just…likeable. They need you and your beacon of hope," she teased.

"I'm starting to regret ever saying that."

"Don't be. It's something to hold on to. That's what all of us need. To believe we still have a shot. You keep fighting, making everyone believe."

"You don't?" Rick asked.

"I think we're the walking dead."

Rick looked at her, horrified. "You're right, we're all infected."

Natasha looked back at him, seeing the cold fear in his eyes. "How do you know?"

"We went to the CDC. The scientist there, Jenner, he told me."

"So I was right. We're all dead anyway."

"Maybe not," Rick protested. "I refuse to believe we're all that's left. There's gotta be someone out there, somewhere who knows what this is and can find a cure. This can't be the end of humanity."

Natasha's lip twitched. "That's why you're our leader. You still believe."

"If you're so hopeless, why are you still here? Why not opt out?" Rick asked.

"I made a promise."

"To who? Clint?"

Natasha looked away. "Tomorrow we need to clear out more of the prison. Find the infirmary, armory, kitchen. Sophia can make an inventory list of everything we find. Then we can go on a run for what we're missing.

Rick didn't comment on her sudden mood shift. "Maybe the warden's office has a map so we can see where we are." He looked over at her. "You can go to bed. I'll take over watch."

She started to argue, but figured it was pointless. "Good night, Rick," she said, already starting down.

Rick called back his own good night, his eyes never leaving her as she crossed the yard.

* * *

Rick had tired of sitting back and letting the others fight without him. On their third day in the prison Natasha decided to clear our more sections. They hadn't found anything useful yet. And this time, Rick refused to be left behind.

"We can't all go. Sophia and Ben can't stay alone," Andrea argued.

"Sophia is more than capable of handling herself thanks to the Romanoff School for Girls. And Ben is learning more every day," Abraham said. "They're small and fast so if anything happens, they'd probably be better off without us."

"Should we split up?" Merle asked, counting the adults. "Cover more ground that way."

"Split in twos or threes?" Abraham jumped in, glad for the subject change.

"It's safer to go as a group of three, but those halls can get crowded fast," Michonne said.

"Me and Michonne can be a team," Merle said, waggling his eyebrows at her.

"I'll go with Natasha," Rick said quickly. Left with Andrea, Abraham looked less than pleased. The pairs broke off and headed in different directions. Rick and Natasha stumbled upon the cafeteria, much to their delight. When the other group of prisoners popped up behind their window, the pair trained their guns on them.

They discovered the men had been left behind when the outbreak started and had no idea what was going on.

"We'll help you clear out a cell block," Rick said. "You'll stay there and if you leave it, we'll kill you."

They tried to argue at first, but Rick and Natasha resisted. The prisoners soon found themselves in a new block.

Though Rick told them to stay in formation, the men didn't listen and Big Tiny was bitten, put down by Tomas.

"Watch him," Rick whispered to Natasha. To the others he said, "No more prison riot shit. Open one door, only one. We need to contain this."

Tomas agreed and seconds later he flung both doors open. Natasha took down a walker that almost grabbed Rick. She kept a close eye on Tomas, saw him swing his axe inches away from Rick's head. Then grabbed a walker and swung it around until it landed on Rick. Natasha buried her knife in the thing's skull and helped Rick to his feet. He looked as if he wanted to say something.

Tomas shrugged. "Shit happens."

Natasha swung her blade before anyone could blink. Andrew screamed and took off, Rick gave chase as Natasha pulled her blade free and aimed her gun at the remaining prisoners. She forced them to their knees until Rick came back and decided they could have their own cell block. Then he and Natasha went back to the group.


	7. For us to Fly

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything.**

* * *

**Chapter Seven- For us to Fly**

"_**I'm not out for us to fly or be set free  
So what, so what?  
I'd show you, you'd show me, so much, so much"**_

* * *

"Do you think my mom is still alive?" Sophia asked Andrea. The girl was throwing clothes into a washer.

Andrea shrugged. "Yeah, I suppose so. She's with Daryl, after all. I'm sure he's taking good care of her."

"Do you think we'll ever find them?"

"I do," the blonde said, though she really wasn't sure. "The world is getting smaller every day. Supplies getting lower. We're bound to find someone at some point."

"I guess that makes sense." Sophia didn't look reassured but she smiled anyway.

Both girls looked up when they heard shouting. Andrea pulled her gun, holding up a finger to Sophia. She pulled the door open, sticking her head out when she recognized one of the voices.

"Rick?" she called.

Footsteps echoed, getting closer. Rick came around the corner, gun raised. He lowered it.

"What happened?" she asked, holstering her own gun.

Rick gave her a rundown of events. "They've agreed to stay in their cell block. They understand this prison is ours and if we're threatened they'll be thrown out." He paused. "Or killed by Natasha, I'm not sure."

Andrea smiled and nodded, glad they found a peaceful solution. "Is that a good idea? Letting them stay?"

"We'll see." Rick shrugged.

"Andrea," Sophia spoke in a small voice.

"Yeah?" she turned, looking behind her.

"I gotta talk to you."

"I'll be right in."

Rick turned to leave. "Be careful," he warned as he rounded the corner.

Andrea ducked back into the laundry room. "What's wrong Sophia?"

"There's-blood-in-my-underwear," Sophia said quickly, her words running together.

Andrea held in her laughter at the girl's expression. "Is this the first time you've gotten your period?"

Sophia nodded shyly.

"Let's go back to the group and we'll get you something."

Andrea was dismayed to learn that she, Michonne and Natasha had nothing.

"Looks like we're going for a run earlier than we planned," Andrea said with a sigh.

"I'll talk to Rick," Natasha said, turning to leave.

Andrea and Michonne shared a smirk and knowing look. Sophia noticed.

"What?" the girl asked.

"Nothing," Andrea said, shaking her head.

"What was that look?" Sophia pressed.

"We think Natasha may have a thing for Rick," Andrea said finally.

"I think Rick likes her too," Sophia agreed. "He always tells her stuff first and always check in with each other. I thought it was because we always need to know what we're all doing. I know he's married and all but…what if we never find Lori?"

"Rick will not stop looking for her, you know that," she smiled again.

Michonne rolled her eyes, tired of the girl talk. "I'm going with Natasha into town."

* * *

Natasha pulled the car to a stop. She and Michonne shared a look before they climbed out of the car.

They silently walked down main street, eyes always darting around in search of danger. Natasha paused next to a large blue mailbox. With a black can of spray paint she wrote "DARYL".

Merle had given her a small cardboard box with a note inside. He had written Daryl's name on it. Natasha had a list of instructions from Merle to do in town. She dropped the little box into the blue mail box then she and Michonne ducked into the pharmacy.

Natasha slipped behind the counter while Michonne gathered supplies. Michonne waited nearby while Natasha planted Merle's letters.

"Let me ask you something," Michonne said as the walked to the grocery store. "What's up with you and Rick?"

"We're friends," Natasha answered. "He watches my back, I watch his."

"And that's it?"

"That's it."

"He looks at you like he wants to get you in the tower, bend you over the rail and fuck you blind."

Natasha nearly choked and Michonne actually smiled. "Just calling it like I see it."

"It's not like that," Natasha told her, shaking her head. "He has a wife."

"Who fucked his best friend."

Natasha frowned.

Michonne continued. "Andrea told me what it was like on the farm, the CDC. She thinks it stopped when Rick was around but doesn't know for sure. They didn't exactly hide it from anyone."

"Don't tell Rick. Lori told him it was a one time thing. As far as he knows, they were together right after the outbreak and that's all."

"He deserves better than her," Michonne mused. "He's a good man."

"He is," Natasha agreed.

"And you were right about Merle," Michonne told her.

"What?"

"When we first met, I called him a racist hick, remember? You told me it was all an act to keep people away from him and you were right." Michonne sighed. "We've talked. That week we were gone scouting, we talked a lot. He told me about Daryl and a little about their past and about his time with you. He's actually not so bad." She smiled a little.

"Just don't tell him that," Natasha said. "He'll do anything to prove you wrong."

They shared a laugh, continuing down the streets.

"Congratulations, you're my first," Natasha said suddenly.

"First what?"

"My first real girlfriend."

Michonne laughed. "I'm honored. You've never had a friend before?"

"Male friends, sure. I've never had a woman to talk to, just sit and gossip with."

"Me either," Michonne admitted. "Always found giggling gossipy women to be annoying. It's not so bad with you."

"Is this the part where we hug and squeal that we'll be bffs?"

"I hope not," Michonne said laughing, she elbowed Natasha.

She smiled back. "Me either."

* * *

Andrea opened the gate for them just as the sun was beginning to set.

"How did it go?" Rick asked. He and Abraham began unloading their supplies.

"Picked over, still plenty left," Natasha reported.

"Did you plant my clues?" Merle called down from the tower.

"Sure did," she called back.

"So they can find us now?" Sophia asked hopefully.

"If they happen to go to that town, sure they can," Rick told her. He and Natasha shared a look but neither said anything.

"But what if someone else finds the notes?"

"Merle made sure only Daryl could understand it. They're placed where no one would look," Natasha reassured her. "Merle is smarter than he leads you to believe."

Merle had wanted to keep looking for the group but they had absolutely no idea where to start. They had spent weeks searching and hadn't found a thing. Natasha had to be the voice of reason. They couldn't spare the gas or supplies. Merle was furious until Abraham had the idea to plant clues in a nearby town. They had done what they could for the time being.

"Hey!" Merle called down, everyone looked up to find him pointing. "There's somebody alive out there!"

"Get inside," Rick ordered Sophia and Ben. They immediately ran off as they were told. Rick gave Natasha a look and the pair went to the fence where Merle was pointing, they raised their guns when they saw movement. Andrea was back at the gate. Michonne was lingering near the car, ready to get the kids if she needed. Abraham had climbed into the tower with Merle.

A large black man stumbled out of the bushes, his eyes wide. He threw up his hands. "Don't shoot! Please don't shoot!" Three others came into view.

Rick nodded to Andrea who began opening the gate for the newcomers. Walkers were starting to gather as the group ran toward the gate.

Natasha, Rick and Merle joined Andrea at the gate. Abraham stayed in the tower, rifle trained on the newcomers.

"Who are you?" Rick asked, gun still raised.

"My name is Tyreese. This is my sister, Sasha. Allen and Donna."

"I'm Rick, this is Natasha, Merle and Andrea. That's Michonne up there and Abraham in the tower."

Natasha interrupted. "Is she bit?" She nodded to Donna.

"She is," Tyreese confirmed.

Rick was on guard again. "She can't come in, we have children in there."

"I understand, we're going to handle it. But I won't leave her out there," Tyreese said.

Rick nodded. "I can respect that." He holstered his gun, motioned for them to follow.

Tyreese and his group gathered in one corner of the yard. Occasionally a raised voice could be heard or a loud sob. Eventually the girl died and Tyreese put her down. He asked Rick for a shovel and they buried her in the corner, marking her grave with a cross.

"Can we trust them?" Andrea asked.

"I don't know," Rick said. "We'll let them stay tonight, talk it over in the morning."

"We a survivor camp now?" Merle asked bitterly.

"We can't turn away people who need help," Andrea argued. "We still have some humanity left."

"If they're good people our numbers go up," Rick reasoned. "More of us protecting the group, sharing chores."

"More mouths to feed," Merle added.

Rick looked angry, drawing a deep breath. Natasha cut him off with a sharp, "Merle. They could help us. But we don't have to trust them right away. Everyone is on trial basis. Their stay is temporary until we decide otherwise."

Merle shrugged, suddenly uninterested. Andrea nodded her agreement to Natasha.

"Michonne?" Rick asked, wanting her opinion.

She looked at Natasha a moment then back to Rick. "I don't trust any of them," she said finally. "But I won't sent anyone to their death. I agree with Natasha. Give them three days and we make a decision."

Rick smiled a little. "Three days," he agreed. "But I don't want anyone to be alone with them at anytime and the kids are never to be alone. As of late, we've taken a few liberties with them, leaving them alone but all that ends now. One of us stays with them at all times. Our guards go up now. Red alert."

Everyone nodded their agreement and Andrea went inside to the children.

The remaining adults watched as Tyreese and the others put up a cross. They stood for a few moments before they turned away. Tyreese leading the way back to Rick's group.

"Here's the deal," Rick said, in a commanding tone. Sasha seemed to bristle right away. "You can stay here tonight, but we want you to stay in a locked cell." He held up a hand as Sasha opened her mouth to protest.

"Wait and let me finish. This prison is ours. It was overrun when we got here. We cleared it out ant took it over so it belongs to us. You'll follow our rules or you can leave right now." He motioned to the gate.

When no one moved, he spoke again. "Alright, then. Let me try again. You'll be given food and water. We'll let you shower if you want, wash your clothes even. We have generators working. But you'll be sleeping in a cell tonight. Myself and Natasha have the only keys. In the morning, we'll let you out and talk about a more permanent situation for you."

"What do you mean?" Sasha asked "You're going to kick us out? Let us stay one night then put a boot in our ass at sun up?"

Tyreese snapped at her. "Calm down! He laid down the rules and we'll do as he says."

She started to protest but thought better of it, remaining silent.

"I said we would talk about it," Rick said, irritated. "Now we don't know you and you don't know us. If this is going to work you have to follow our rules and have some trust in us. We did let you in here and we're considering letting you stay so we're not bad people."

"We thank you," Tyreese said sincerely. "We're good people too. Tired, hungry, worn down and a little on edge but we're good. We'll do as you say."

Rick liked him right away. "Alright. Come on inside." He met Natasha's eyes and she hung back, watching the group go. She had to admit that she liked Tyreese. He seemed to be an honest and straight forward man but that didn't mean she trusted him or the others yet.

"I don't like it," Merle said, eyes on the group.

"Me either," Michonne agreed.

Natasha shook her head. "I'm going to keep an eye on them." She pushed off the car.

"I'm going back to the tower before Abraham finishes off my bottle," Merle said.

"I'll come too," Michonne said quickly.

"Drinking while you're on watch?" Natasha scolded playfully.

Merle shrugged. "Later we're gonna get shit faced and see how many walkers we can pick off." He laughed loudly.

Natasha shook her head and walked off. She silently shadowed the group as Rick led them to the laundry room. "Dinner's in an hour, I'll come get you then." He left them, barely nodding at Natasha as he passed her.

The newcomers were quiet a few moments, listening to Rick leave. Natasha barely dared to breathe, hiding in the shadows of the hall.

"Can we really trust these people?" Sasha asked quietly. "I mean, six adults cleared this whole prison?"

"Now the whole prison," Tyreese argued. "You heard Rick, they cleared two cell blocks and the important rooms. He said the place is still crawling with walkers. That's why he told us not to wander off."

"Still," Allen said. "Just the six of them did all this. How is that possible?"

"Rick said he was a cop. One of them was in the army and that redhead was some kind of government agent, he was vague on that. So those two obviously had some kind of combat training," Tyreese reasoned.

"What about the other three?"

"The blonde was a lawyer. I don't know about the other two."

"That guy only has one hand," Sasha commented. "What do you think happened?"

"It doesn't matter," Tyreese said firmly. "And don't go bothering him about it, it ain't none of your business.

"Will they really let us stay?" Allen mused.

"If Rick decides we're not a threat, they'll let us stay."

"What will we do if he makes us leave?"

There was a pause before Tyreese said, "Then we'll go somewhere else."

Sasha spoke next, her voice tearful. "Where will we go? We can't go back out there. I can' do it again, I'm so tired." She started to blubber. "You have to talk to Rick, you have to tell him. We're survivors just like them."

"I could tell him I was Jesus Christ reincarnated but it wouldn't make a damn what I say if he don't believe it. Now we have to look at this from his point of view," Tyreese said. "Him and his group are safe in here and this group of strangers comes running out of the woods screaming for help with one of our people bit. You'd be cautious too." He paused. "And I don't think this group is bad. They're worn down, just like we are. But they gave us shelter for the night."

"In a locked cell," Allen said bitterly.

"You would do it too," Tyreese said. "But they let us keep our weapons, wash our clothes. They've got food for us as well. It's more than we've had in a long time."

The group fell silent then, the only sound was the washer going. All of their clothes had fit in one load. The machine cut off, there was the shuffle of feet and a click as the door was opened. The dryer started a moment later.

"I wonder if they have some extra clothes lying around," Sasha said absently. There was idle chit chat then.

Natasha heard Rick's footsteps when he was still minutes away from her. He paused beside her but didn't look at her. She touched his shoulder and nodded, signaling they would talk later. Rick moved forward into the laundry room. He led them back to the cells, Natasha followed behind without being noticed. Each one was assigned a cell. They dropped their things off before he led them to the cafeteria. Andrea, Abraham, Ben and Sophia were already there.

"I'll take these up to Merle and Michonne," Andrea said, locking eyes with Natasha before ducking out of the room.

There was an awkward silence as the group ate.

"I can't believe I'm eating a full meal right now," Sasha said, looking down at her plate of deer meat, green beans, potatoes and a slice of bread. "This is the most we've had in months." She sighed with pleasure.

"What's this meat?" Allen asked.

"Deer," Sophia told him. "Merle and Michonne got one the other day."

"I'll have to tell Andrea how good this is," Sasha said.

"Actually, I cooked it," Sophia said, sounding hurt.

"Oh," she said in surprise.

"It's very good," Tyreese said.

Sophia smiled at the compliment. "Thank you. My mom taught me."

Allen looked at Natasha, who almost laughed. "I'm not her mother," she said evenly.

"My mom is in another group. We got separated. Her name is Carol," Sophia told them. Suddenly sad, she picked at the rest of her food.

Tyreese and the others fell silent as well, devouring the rest of their meal. Rick took them to the showers so they could bathe. When they finished, they went into their cells and Rick locked them in. "Just for tonight," he promised. "Natasha and I are going out to the tower. Everyone has a turn keeping watch, it's part of protecting our group. If you need anything, call for Andrea. Just try to get some rest and keep the noise at a minimum. You're safe for tonight."

"Thank you," Tyreese said, giving Rick an understanding nod. Rick returned it, then he and Natasha went out the door and up to the tower.

"It's quiet," Merle reported. "Just the usual ones outside the fence."

"Alright, you two want to go on inside? They're all locked up, I've told them to call for Andrea if they need anything."

They said their good nights. When Merle was crossing the yard, Rick turned to Natasha. "Well?"

"They're okay," she said. She recited what she had overheard from the laundry room. "They've gone through the same things we have. They don't seem to know what to think about us either. I think they're just looking for a place to stay."

"Do you trust them?"

"I don't trust anyone."

Rick felt a little hurt at that.

Natasha realized this. "You don't know what trust means to me," she told him. "I trusted Clint but it took years for him to build that trust and it shouldn't have taken that long, considering what he did for me."

"I understand. In this world you can't be too careful," Rick said, still stung.

"I don't think they'll kill us," she said. "Not unless they're pushed but I can say the same about our own group."

"Should we let them stay?"

"That's the group's decision."

"I know, but I want to know your opinion." His blue eyes stared at her, trying to read her cold expression.

"Yes, I think they could stay," she decided. "Tyreese is big, he would be an asset to the watch team. We'll watch the others and get them doing something. Everyone pitches in, we're not carrying any dead weight."

Rick smiled at her. "I have a feeling things will work out just fine."

* * *

**A/N: I honestly am in love with the Michonne/Natasha friendship I've created. How are you guys liking it? Anyone else not familiar with Abraham? Fun Fact: I had almost 100 pages of this story written and then threw it out and started over so I could include Abraham because he's my favorite character from the comics and I needed him in here lol. I'd love to hear your thoughts...review, please?**

**Next chapter: Stuff.**

**~JLL**


	8. Show Me What I'm Looking For

**Disclaimer: Don't own Avengers or the Walking Dead.**

* * *

**Chapter Eight – Show Me What I'm Looking For**

"_**Save me, I'm lost  
Oh, Lord, I've been waiting for you  
I'll pay any cost  
Save me from being confused  
Show me what I'm looking for"**_

* * *

Tyreese and his group were released from their cells the next morning, given breakfast and put to work. Rick figured out where their talents lay and placed them accordingly. The third day of their stay, Rick gathered everyone in the cafeteria.

"Rick," Tyreese said, standing up. "We want to thank you for giving us a safe place these past few days. Even if you decide to kick us out, we'll leave here with the hope that there's still some good left in the world." He sat down.

Rick felt his words were sincere. He looked at his group. "Anyone?"

They all shook their heads. Andrea smiled.

"We've all agreed to let you stay," Rick said.

The group let out a collective sigh, all three visibly relaxed.

"That doesn't mean we're going to make it easy for you," Rick continued. "There's a lot of work to be done and we fully expect you to do your share, pull your own weight."

"Whatever you want, boss," Tyreese said with a nod.

"Tomorrow we're going to clean out some of the lower levels," Rick said. "We're looking for the Warden's office, specifically. Now we can go in two groups. Abraham and Merle have volunteered for watch. Who's up for this?"

Natasha was the first to raise her hand, even though she didn't need to. Rick already knew she was going. Everyone else volunteered to go, even if they didn't want to. No one wanted to seem as if they weren't willing to work.

"Sophia, you take Ben out to the towers with Merle," Rick said.

Natasha spoke up, "Andrea, Michonne and I will go together."

"We work best as a trio," Andrea agreed.

"I'll go with you ladies, if you don't mind," Tyreese said before Rick could say anything.

He grit his teeth. "Alright. I'll take Sasha and Allen with me." He didn't like the idea of being alone with Tyreese's group but if Tyreese was willing to go with his girls, who was he to argue?

"Tasha," Rick said, grabbing her arm as she passed. "Be careful."

"Right back at you," she said, sending a glare at Sasha.

"Watch him," he whispered. She nodded, eyes lingering on his before she turned to go. Rick knew Michonne, Natasha and Andrea were tough as nails, smart and all around bad asses. But Tyreese was bigger than all three of them put together. He hoped they hadn't made a mistake accepting his group so easily.

* * *

Rick crept along the wall, machete poised for an attack. They had located the hallway that contained the staff offices. Naturally, it was loaded with walkers. Sasha and Allen had their own way of working together and it made Rick feel slightly put out that he was struggling to lead them.

He peeked around the corner, holding up six fingers behind him.

"Three doors open, other two are closed, as far I can see," he whispered and they nodded in understanding. Rick waved his hand and slid off the wall, around the corner and attacked the first walker in sight. The pair behind him moved as one, closing ranks behind him and taking down the enemy at hand. Sasha closed the first door, containing the threat inside, if there was one.

Rick was reaching to close the last one when he tripped over a fallen corpse and went down. A pair of walkers immediately started toward him.

"Rick!" Sasha yelled. She swung her axe at the closest walker, Allen going for the second one. "Are you okay?" she asked, hauling him to his feet.

"Yeah, I'm fine," he said, kicking the body he'd tripped over.

"Are we good here?" the boy asked.

Rick looked around, walked to the end of the hall and locked the door. "Let's check these offices and then head back."

* * *

"What happened to you?" Natasha asked, eyeing Rick's bloody knee. Her hand went to her gun and he stopped her.

"They saved me," he said quickly, telling her what happened.

"This is why I don't let you go running off without me," she teased, feeling a wave of relief.

Rick laughed a little. "Find anything?" he asked, changing the subject.

"Offices, nothing special. You?"

"Warden's office. There's a lot of files in there on the prisoners. I thought we could find out about those two we cleared that block for."

"Good idea," Natasha agreed. "First, we should move those cars up here, inside the gates. Merle mentioned it earlier that we shouldn't leave them down there in case we need a quick getaway."

"Yeah," Rick said. "I can't believe we didn't think of it sooner."

"Haven't had the time," she replied. "Between newcomers and falling over walker bodies we just haven't had time to think."

He mock glared at her, she just smiled back. They book looked up as Tyreese approached. "I think next time we go on a killing spree we should go with our own groups. Your girls move so efficiently, I felt like a bumbling giant trying to keep pace with them." He laughed.

Rick smiled. "I got that same feeling with your group."

"Guess we have our own way of doing things," Tyreese mused. "What's next?"

Rick dug in his pocket for the keys. "We're moving the cars inside the gates."

Tyreese nodded, his eyes focusing behind Rick and turned suspicious. "What about those guys?"

Rick and Natasha turned, spotting the two prisoners walking into the yard.

"What the hell?" Andrea spoke up a few feet away.

"I'll handle it," Rick said. Quietly to Natasha, "Come with me."

"We had a deal," he said, approaching the men.

They plead their case, asking to join the others. Rick turned to Natasha for her opinion.

"No," she said. "But maybe we ask the others?"

Rick thought about it. "Do we want to risk them around the kids? They could be murderers, rapists."

She glared at him in response, suddenly angry. "I'm a murderer and you made me second in command."

"That's different."

"It isn't. I was an assassin, I killed in cold blood because I was told by someone that this person needed to die. It's no different than a serial killer who kills because he can. I took lives, Rick, regardless of the reason. I'm not a good person." She stopped, realizing she had said too much.

Rick shook his head. "You're wrong." He looked at the prisoners and back to the group. "Let's ask the group."

"Are you kidding me?" Andrea exclaimed after Rick made the proposal. "No!"

"I could be in there just as easily as I'm out here with y'all," Merle said. "They're degenerates. I don't think they're bad."

"So we should let them stay?"

"Hell nah. Let 'em take their chances on the road like we did," Merle said.

"Michonne?" Rick said. "Tyreese? Abraham what about y'all?"

Tyreese looked surprised that he was being asked for his opinion. He shrugged. "You took me in when you didn't have to, who am I to turn them away?"

"Give them food and a weapon, send them on their way," Michonne suggested flatly.

The discussion was cut off by a piercing scream.

"Oh my God, Sophia!" Andrea exclaimed as everyone ran toward the yard in time to see a horde of walkers spilling through the gate. Andrea grabbed Sophia's hand, pulling her and Ben to safety, cutting down walkers as they went.

"That gate is open!" Tyreese yelled, pointing. "Allen!" he called for help. They closed the gate, locking the clips in place but Allen was bitten in the process.

"Tasha!" Rick yelled, though she was right next to him. Merle appeared to her right. Sasha and Michonne fell in line, completing the circle. They cleared the yard within minutes but they still had a problem.

"What the hell happened?!" Merle demanded.

Natasha whipped around, aiming her guns at the prisoners.

"We didn't have nothing to do with this!" the bearded one said adamantly, putting his hands up.

Alarms blared overhead.

"What the hell is that!?" Rick yelled. "How do we turn it off?"

"Boiler room!" one of the prisoners yelled, he ran off with everyone following behind.

* * *

"Tough day," Natasha commented, climbing the tower behind Rick.

"Allen died and all you can say is 'tough day'?" he asked sadly, looking to the corner of the yard where the two graves were.

"It could have been worse. I thought I told you, I've been around death my whole life. I tend not to weep over the loss of one."

Rick looked at her. "You keep saying that but when I look at you, all I see is a woman trying her hardest to survive and keep this group alive."

"I've grown attached to you all. It would be a shame if I let you all die this soon."

Rick smirked. "Is that your way of saying you like me-us?" She didn't answer and his smirk grew. "Looks like the cold hearted assassin isn't as cold hearted as she led us to believe."

"Stop teasing me or I'll push you off this tower and tell everyone you jumped." She didn't sound nearly as cold as she'd wanted, causing Rick to laugh.

"I'm going to bed, you can take watch since you're all fired up," he said, walking toward the ladder.

"One push, Grimes, that's all it takes," she warned, glad his back was turned so he couldn't see her smile.

"You don't scare me, Romanoff," he called back, still laughing.

She shook her head, watching him cross the yard and go inside.

Tyreese and his group had proven themselves worthy of staying in the prison. Each of them did their assignments without complaint, they kept their areas clean, complimented the food and regularly reported to Rick and Natasha.

Rick eventually felt comfortable enough to allow Natasha to go on another run with Michonne. He felt a lot safer when she was around, but he knew she had been itching to get out for a while.

"They'll be fine," Tyreese told Rick. "She'll come back to you." He nodded toward Natasha.

Rick didn't bother to correct him that he and Natasha weren't together. Just waved at the girls as they climbed into the car.

And so the girls went, away from the prison for nearly three days. Rick had worried it had taken so long. He was jumping up at every sound and started spending almost all day and night in the tower waiting for them to return. So it was a surprise to him when they did return with smiling faces.

"We found something," Natasha said immediately.

"What did you find?" he asked, trying subtly to check her over for any injuries.

She noticed but didn't comment. "A housing development, gated community. Probably thirty or so houses. We only saw two walkers outside, can't be many more in the houses. People there probably bolted when the news broke."

"It could be a great opportunity," Michonne chimed in. "If we clean out the walkers, reinforce the fence it'll be safe. Looks untouched too, probably plenty of supplies inside. And a lot more comfortable than a prison."

Rick thought it over. "I want to see it for myself. Natasha, you get some rest tonight and you'll take me in the morning. Michonne, you and Merle keep an eye on things while we're gone."

Michonne nodded before going inside with the supplies they had brought back. Rick looked at Natasha, she told him, "I agree with what she said. It'll be good for us. A new start."

"Here we have the generator, water, electricity. These walls are impenetrable."

"We can find generators, solar panels, a windmill, something," Natasha told him. "People survived for centuries without electricity. There's a pond though, for water, maybe some fish."

Rick felt a familiar swell of hope. "I want to see it. Then we can make plans, work out the kinks. I want all of us on the same page. Go get some sleep."

"Yes, sir," she replied with a smirk.

Rick smiled, shaking his head as she walked away.


	9. To be True

**Disclaimer: Don't own any of this.**

* * *

**Chapter Nine – To be True**

_**"Help me close my eyes  
I want to sleep without dreaming  
Cause I need them to be true"**_

* * *

"I think you're right," Rick said, looking through the bars at the houses. "Can we get in?"

Natasha leapt up, grabbed the top of the gate and propelled herself over landing on her feet. "It's on an electronic lock. We can find a way to open it later."

Rick climbed up and over, considerably less graceful than Natasha. They walked down the road, stopping in front of the first house. They drew their weapons.

"Should we check the houses?" Natasha asked.

"Yeah." Rick nodded. "We can clear this out."

"Just you and me?" She quirked an eyebrow.

"I think you and I are capable of just about anything." He smiled.

She didn't answer, walking toward the house and pushing open the door.

A few hours later, the sun was on its way down and Rick was feeling more and more hopeful.

"We've taken out about six walkers in a dozen houses, there can't be many more left in the other houses. We can finish this alone," Natasha said.

"I think you just want to keep me all to yourself," Rick teased with a smile. "Watch it, Romanoff, I'm a married man."

She rolled her eyes, trying to pretend her heart didn't clench every time he mentioned Lori or his marriage. "Yep, you figured me out," she said dryly.

Rick looked out the window. "Guess we're here for the night. Let's put something in front of the doors."

* * *

Natasha was dreaming. Never in her life had she had such a sickeningly sweet, beautiful dream that would never come true.

She was lying on her back, a blue sky spread out above her with those big puffy clouds that look like cauliflower. The sun was warm on her skin, a gentle breeze ruffled the flowers around her.

Rick was lying next to her, one arm behind her head and the other rested on her stomach. He said something she couldn't make out, then kissed her. Her whole body coming alive, she closed her eyes to revel in the feel of him around her.

When she opened her eyes again, she was looking at a wall lined with books. Sun just beginning to filter through the curtains; reflecting off the shiny hardwood floors. Rick was lying on the floor, under the windows. His mouth slightly open, snoring lightly. Morning sunlight spilled onto his face, lighting up his features. He looked so young and peaceful that it nearly killed her to wake him up. She put a hand on his shoulder and shook him awake. His eyes fluttered open, so blue and innocent when he looked at her. Then all the memories of the world and where he was came back to him and his eyes clouded with worry. Walls fell back into place. Natasha would give anything to get past them.

"We should get going," she said. "We can clear this place out and get back on the road by tonight."

He nodded and sat up, digging in the bag for something for breakfast.

A few hours later, they had cleared out every house and the sun was still high in the sky.

"Let's head back," Rick said. "Maybe we can find a map of this place or draw one up, start designating who goes where. We'll start piling all the food up, let Sophia make an inventory, that kind of thing."

"Sure," she agreed quietly, following him back to the gate. They hopped over, Rick pulling it off easier than he had before. They'd parked the car on a dirt road a short walk from the gates.

Natasha felt a little safer in the woods, for they provided better cover. In front of her, Rick was walking always looking around, ready for an impending threat. Her mind played her dream on a loop, refusing to let her forget it. Her heart ached but at the same time she was confused. Where had these feelings come from and what was she feeling exactly?

Suddenly, Rick's arm was across her chest bringing her to a stop. She looked up, following his gaze. There were three people gathered around their car.

"Hey, there!" one of the men called. "This yours?"

Rick and Natasha shared a look. "Yeah, it is," Rick called back.

"Why'd you leave it here?"

"We were hunting. Didn't go so well," Rick told them.

"I told him we couldn't hunt with a pistol and a knife but he's a city boy, can't tell him anything," Natasha said, trying to sound light. She nudged Rick's arm for good measure.

The woman smiled at them. "How long you two been married?"

Rick jerked a little in surprise but covered it up nicely, putting an arm around Natasha. "Thirteen years."

Natasha almost laughed. She knew she didn't look a day over thirty, much too young to be married so long.

"Oh!" the woman gushed. "Any kids?" A year ago that would have been a perfectly normal question to ask. Natasha looked away, a signal for Rick to answer.

"We have a daughter," he said, to her surprise. "Sophia."

"Have…or had?" the first man asked, subtly looking around.

"Had," Rick said sadly, squeezing Natasha's shoulders.

The three strangers were silent. Finally the woman spoke, "You should come with us then. We have a few more people with us."

"No," Rick said firmly. "We were with a group before, that's how we lost our daughter. It's just us now and, well, we're going to keep it that way."

Natasha wiped at her eyes, then turned and tugged on Rick's shirt. "Let's go now," she whispered.

He nodded. "If you don't mind, we're going now."

The strangers backed away, once again attempting to get the 'couple' to join them. Once in the car, Rick pulled away from them, getting on the road in the opposite direction of the prison in case they were followed.

"We'll have to stop for gas," Rick said, looking at the gauge and then glanced up looking at the sun. "Looks like we'll be staying the night somewhere else. We won't make it back to the prison tonight, not before dark anyway." He maneuvered the car through the streets, looking around. "I don't even know where we are."

Natasha smirked. "Rule number four, Officer Grimes. 'When lost, find a gas station and get a map that will lead you back home."

"Rule number four? I don't remember rules one through three. Care for a refresher course, Professor Romanoff?" Rick asked, smirking.

"Actually, there are eight rules."

"What are they?" Rick asked.

"Rule number eight is know your signs. Seven is know your code."

"What does that mean?"

"You work out a code with your partner, a distress signal in case a mission goes wrong," Natasha explained. "If I was captured and needed to leave a message for Clint, something like 'The widow says there's no blood for two', meaning I've got it under control and he doesn't need to look for me."

"And he'd just listen? He wouldn't come after you?"

"He trusted me. Knew I could handle myself."

"And the distress signal?"

"A piece of jewelry, usually. Something you have on your body at all times. So if you go missing and your distress signal shows up, your partner knows something is wrong. That's rules seven and eight," she explained.

"How about the rest?" Rick asked, fully listening now.

"Rule number six, never go anywhere alone, that's especially in today's world. Rule number five is watch your back. I already told you rule four. Number three is watch your partner's back. Number two, always carry a knife. Number one, stay alive."

Rick absorbed this. "Good rules."

* * *

"Looks like the prison is further out than I thought," Rick said, studying the map. "We can head out tomorrow morning after we fuel up, if we find any."

"I'll let you do that," Natasha said. "I'm looking for food." She walked toward the aisles, looking over what was left to eat.

Rick folded the map, smiling a little. He walked out the door beginning his search for gas. Natasha went to the door, watching him weave between the cars. He got what he could and put it in the tank of their car though it didn't look like much, she hoped it was enough.

"Spying on me?" he asked coming inside.

"Rule number three," she told him simply.

He smiled. "Right. What did you find?"

"Tampons and Tylenol."

Rick snorted. "To eat?"

"You can eat it, but I wouldn't recommend too much Tylenol." Rick leveled his gaze on her. "There's crackers, chips, some brownies and a water cooler in the back."

"Good enough, I'm starving," He patted his stomach. "Guess I got used to Sophia's meals I forgot what it was like being on the road with nothing to eat."

Natasha didn't answer. She had grown up that way. It wasn't something she wouldn't ever forget. She walked to the back room where she had put her sleeping bag on the floor. Rick's was still rolled up on the desk. She'd decided to let him choose where he slept, hoping it would be far away from her. She wouldn't mind it, to be honest, but Rick was married and she wasn't a home wrecker. So she crawled in her sleeping bag, curled up and fell asleep.

Rick ate a pack of crackers and a brownie. It was stale but the chocolate reminded him of a time when things were easier. He went into the office where Natasha was already asleep. He lay down on his bag against the wall, several feet of space between them. Despite the fact that he and Lori had been having problems for the last year, despite how many times she'd kicked him out and let him come home after a night or two in a hotel, Lori was the mother of this child and he loved her. Rick wanted to make things work with her but it wasn't possible when she fought so hard against him.

He'd fought his way through Atlanta to get to her and Carl, could he really do it again? She was out there somewhere with Carl and his unborn child? Every day seemed less likely they would be reunited. And every time he looked at Natasha, though he knew it was terrible and he hated even thinking it, some small part of him would be okay with never seeing Lori again.

* * *

Shane slammed the front door of the small farmhouse, running behind the group as they fled to the cars. Everyone sped off, away from the pursuing walkers.

A few miles down the road, Shane stopped and got out, Lori glared at his back.

He pointed at Carl. "Take point," he ordered.

Anger swelled in the boy's chest but he did as he was told.

Shane, Glenn, Maggie and Daryl gathered around the hood of the car, looking at the map.

"What now?" Maggie snapped.

Shane fought the urge to slap her.

Daryl pointed at the map. "There's a little town there, we could check for supplies."

"Fine," Shane said, folding the map. "You and Glenn go check it out, see if there's a place we could stay for the night." He started around to get in the car, wanting to talk to Lori.

Daryl and Glenn climbed in the SUV and set off, glad to be away from the group a while. They parked the car and walked the rest of the way.

"I hope we find something there," Glenn said desperately. "We have to do something soon. Shane is so worried about finding stuff for Lori and the baby, he doesn't care what happens to us."

"I know," Daryl said quietly.

"You know, sometimes I think about Rick," Glenn said, barely above a whisper. Daryl was surprised to hear the name. He thought about Rick too but his name was never mentioned around Lori or Shane.

Shane had once asked Carl to do something, the boy refused and Shane lost his temper. He smacked Carl and told him not to back talk. Carl responded with, "Fuck you, you're not my dad." Shane backhanded him again, causing Daryl to get involved.

Lori had taken Shane's side. Carl had looked at his mother with a look of burning hate that Daryl had never seen on such a young face. Ever since, Carl had spent more time around Carol and Daryl, very rarely speaking to his mother and never even looked at Shane.

"Where do you think we'd be if he were still alive?" Glenn asked.

"Don't know," Daryl answered. "Been almost a year now. Gotta think we'd be a little better off than we are now." He thought about Sophia all the time too. Though Carol seemed to accept that her daughter was gone, he had never given up on her.

"Hey, Daryl?"

"Damn, kid, you ever stop talking?" Daryl snapped, though there was no emotion behind it.

Glenn ignored it anyway. "Have we been to this town before?"

"No," Daryl said, looking at the buildings.

The Asian looked at him. "You spell your name D-A-R-Y-L?"

"How'd you know?" the redneck asked, bewildered.

Glenn pointed to a blue post box. "I think someone left you a message."

Daryl's heart leapt, the boys ran over. Daryl reached inside, pulling out worthless envelopes that spilled onto the ground. Finally, he came up with a small cardboard box with his name on it.

"It's from Merle," he said, shocked.

"What does it say?" Glenn asked.

Confused, Daryl showed him, the note read, "11/14/03"

"That was the night he overdosed and I had to call 911. He spent four days in the hospital, came home and almost did it again," Daryl explained.

"Maybe he's at the hospital and he's trying to lead you there," Glenn suggested hopefully.

"But there ain't no hospital around here."

Glenn was quiet. "Let's go look for supplies, maybe he left something else."

"Yeah," Daryl agreed. They went to the pharmacy first in search of vitamins for Lori, per Shane's instructions.

Daryl paused at an aisle where a dozen soda cans were lying on the floor. "Hey," he called. Glenn appeared at his side. "The night Merle o'ded, he overdosed on coke." He pointed at the floor. "Think someone is trying to tell us something?"

Glenn's smile was huge and he kicked at the cans nearly laughing in delight. When he hit an empty one, Daryl used his knife to cut it open. Pulled out a note and read, "Easter, seven years."

"What does that mean?" Glenn asked.

"Only thing I can think of is when I was seven, he gave me a rabbit for Easter. It was right after our mom died," Daryl told him. "Merle didn't have no money, he went out in the woods and caught it with his bare hands. Damn thing bit me every time I tried to pick it up. It died and Merle took it and had it's foot cut off. Gave it to me as a lucky charm."

"Morbid," Glenn commented.

"Little bit."

"So…pet store?" Glenn asked, suddenly excited they seemed to be on a scavenger hunt.

Daryl looked up, spotting a small kiosk on the counter by the register. It had once been stocked with lighters, tire gauges, colored rabbit's foots and air fresheners.

"Nah," Daryl said with a smile. He pointed and Glenn's face lit up. They hurried over, tipping over the small stand and finding the note.

"Last Halloween," Daryl read.

"Liquor store?" Glenn joked.

"No, I think he means the last Halloween we celebrated. He took me trick or treating, I went as a dentist."

"Where was the dentist office at?" Glenn tried to recall the map.

Daryl led him out of the store and down the street a few blocks. They entered the building then tore the place apart looking for the next clue, the search for supplies long forgotten.

"I got it," Daryl called from the office. He read it aloud. "Fifth grade. School play." He looked at Glenn. "I was in the Thanksgiving play as a turkey."

Glenn smiled. "Grocery store?"

Daryl found his heart was racing as they reached the meat section of the supermarket. They covered their noses at the smell of rotted meat. Daryl saw a plastic bag under one of the turkeys and pulled it out, taking the note from the bag.

"It's coordinates," he announced, passing it to Glenn. "That's where Merle is."


	10. Never Meant to Leave the Ground

**Disclaimer: Do not own anything.**

* * *

**Chapter Ten – Never Meant to Leave the Ground**

"_**Time to take it over  
Look how far we've come  
Some were never meant to come around  
Some were never meant to leave the ground"**_

* * *

Michonne finished scrawling on the piece of paper she had outside on the picnic table. She and Sasha had plotted a garden to begin planting at the new place. She had done a full map and was hammering out the details.

Merle was in the tower. Sophia and Ben playing a twisted game of tag with Andrea and Tyreese. Sasha had left Michonne alone at the table and was lingering nearby. Abraham was cleaning his gun in silence, occasionally looking up at the game going on in the yard.

Sophia had proven herself to be very organized. She'd made a full inventory of their food stock and other supplies. When they finally found the armory, she had done a full inventory of guns and ammo as well. The sound of an engine caused everyone to look up.

"It's them!" Merle called from the tower. Andrea went to open the gate, locking it when Rick pulled the car in.

"We cleared it out," Natasha said to Michonne as they started unloading the supplies they had brought back. "Plenty of food, clothes, the like. Well have plenty of room."

"I drew up a map," Michonne told her. "We'll have room for a garden, a graveyard and animals, if we can find some."

"Sounds good," Rick said, joining the conversation.

"We found the armory yesterday," Michonne reported. "Sophia already did inventory, I left it in the warden's office for you." She smiled.

"We'll go check it out," Rick told her. He and Natasha started inside, Michonne followed. Andrea and Sophia resumed their silly game only to be interrupted a few minutes later by the sound of a motorcycle.

"Sophia, get Rick and Tasha," Andrea ordered. The girl ran off, Ben running behind her. She sprinted down the halls, ducking in and out of rooms. Finally, she found them in the armory.

"Someone's coming up the road!" she said breathlessly.

Rick finished loading his python, shoved it in its holster and took a shotgun, loading it with shells. Sophia made sure her own pistol was loaded, then followed the adults down the hall.

Outside, Abraham and Tyreese had drawn their weapons, staring out at the road leading to the gates. In the tower, Merle was peering through the scope on his rifle. Suddenly, he started laughing. "It's my brother!"

"Daryl?!" Andrea exclaimed.

A moment later, the caravan came into view. Daryl leading the way on motorcycle. Andrea heaved the gate open, greeting her friends as they exited the cars.

"Y'all know each other then?" Abraham asked, standing awkwardly with Tyreese.

"Who are you?" the pregnant woman snapped, eyeing him with disgust.

"The fucking man around here, who the hell are you?"

"Abraham," Andrea warned, eyeing him.

"I'm Shane," the man next to her said. "You'd better watch how you talk to my wife."

"Your wife, huh?" Rick asked, coming out the door in time to catch Shane's words.

The air seemed to intensify as Rick, Natasha and Michonne came into the yard.

"Rick?" Lori gasped, eyes widening in shock.

Their scene was interrupted by a small voice saying, "Mom?"

"Sophia? Oh my God!" Carol exclaimed, running toward her daughter.

Rick was glaring at Shane, who had his arm around a very pregnant Lori. Both of them had frozen in shock. Carl tried to go forward but was gripped tightly by Lori.

"We thought you were dead, man," Glenn said, staring at Rick.

"Yeah, Randall shot me," Rick said. "In the back. Walkers almost got me. If it weren't for Michonne here, I would be dead." Lori took a small step forward and Rick held up a hand. "Just don't."

"Rick, man," Shane started.

"Stop," Rick snapped. "You don't get to talk to me." He backed up, putting a hand over his mouth, then turned and said, "Andrea will show you all inside. You can shower, eat if you'd like. We have our own generators, so we have hot water."

"Hot water?" Glenn repeated, trying to lighten the group's mood. "It's like heaven."

Rick continued. "This is Tyreese, Abraham, Michonne. This is Natasha, she's my second in command."

This earned the redhead a glare from Lori and Shane but Natasha didn't even glance their way.

"Natasha," Glenn said dreamily. "Now I know I'm in heaven."

Maggie elbowed him with a glare.

Rick was still in shock. He just could not believe it. Natasha had guessed what was going on when she heard Shane introduce Lori as his wife.

"Rick," she said, drawing everyone's attention to her. "We need you to look over the inventory. Sophia said a few things were missing that we need to replace."

He looked at her and understood what she was trying to do and nodded. "I'm on my way." He glanced around. "Andrea, can you show everyone to a cell." He turned and walked away.

"Rick, man, listen," Shane tried again, he bumped into Natasha almost shoving her aside. She snatched his arm and twisted until he flipped over and landed on his stomach.

Lori started screaming, Shane was grunting and cursing. Natasha applied more pressure until he shut up.

In a deadly calm voice, Natasha said, "You put your hands on my again, you'll end up right back here but next time your arm comes with me."

Rick and Michonne were lingering by the door waiting. Michonne was fighting a smirk.

"Tasha," Rick said quietly.

She stared at him a moment and finally released Shane's arm then walked toward the door.

"Dad," Carl called. "Can I come with you?"

Rick nodded and the boy wrenched himself from his mother's grip. When the door closed, Rick grabbed Natasha by the arm. "Thank you," he whispered.

"Anytime," she responded.

He looked at Carl. "We'll only be a few minutes."

"Take your time."

"We'll see you at dinner," Michonne said with an air of finality, her expression leaving no room for arguments.

Rick gave them both a smile and walked away telling his son all about the new group. They sat in the Warden's office talking for a long time. Carl told his father all about their time on the road, Shane's ideas that ended in disaster. Finally, Rick asked the question he had been avoiding. "Your mom and Shane…they…"

"Shane, Daryl and Glenn all swore you were dead," Carl said, staring at his feet. "Mom spent all her time with Shane. Then one day she sat me down and told me they were married and she was going to use his last name. They're gonna give the baby his last name too. Mom's been trying out names to all of us."

Rick felt a deep sense of betrayal. All that time at the quarry, the CDC, the farm, Lori had done nothing but fight with him and take Shane's side. Now he knew why. Lori was in love with Shane and Rick had only been in the way.

* * *

Andrea showed everyone to their new cells and around to the shower, cafeteria and the gym. She explained what areas were off limits and let them go into the yard, promising to call them inside when dinner was ready.

Lori stopped her before she got back inside. "I need you to take me to Rick."

"No," Andrea said coldly, wrenching her arm away. "If he wants to talk to you he'll come to you but I wouldn't expect him anytime soon." She glanced at Shane for emphasis.

"Andrea, we thought he was dead."

"Yeah?" She spun to face the brunette. "And that's been what, six, seven months? That's enough time for you to mourn and move on to his best friend? But that's what you did before so I guess it wasn't hard the second time around. Rick _never_ thought you were dead. He was always looking for you and Carl, always hoping he would find you safely."

Lori scoffed. "He's been here all this time with you and those other women and you expect me to believe he never did anything?"

"No, he didn't," Andrea spat. "Because he knew you were still out there and he was trusting Shane to keep you safe. He loved you enough to stay faithful when you weren't around and he had plenty of chances to stray but he never did. You have no idea how lucky you are but you don't even care? And you know what? You don't deserve him." She spun around and stalked away, her blood boiling. She almost ran smack into Maggie. "Sorry," she said.

Maggie laughed. "No problem. I've been waiting all winter for someone to tell her off."

Andrea blushed. "I don't know what came over me. It's just, being here all this time, everyone talking about the family they have out there. Merle talking about Daryl, Sophia talking about her mother, Rick about Lori and Carl. Then everyone gets here and Rick realizes the woman he's been looking for is shacked up with his best friend. I just got so mad at her."

Maggie nodded understandably. "I know what you mean."

Andrea suddenly remembered. "I'm so sorry. Glenn told me about your dad and Beth…"

"Yeah," Maggie said, sniffing.

Both girls fell silent. Andrea finally said, "Looks like we get to join Michonne and Natasha's club."

"What club?"

"The '_I have no family outside this group_' club."

Maggie smiled sadly. "I'm out. I still have Glenn," she reminded. "T-Dog can join though."

Andrea laughed until she realized what they were joking about. "That's not funny."

"No, it isn't," Maggie agreed. They smiled again.

"I gotta say, Shane has been getting on everyone's nerves all winter. We've all wanted to punch him at some point. I'm a little sad we show up here and within three minutes, Natasha has him on his belly threatening to pull his arm off," Maggie said with a laugh.

Andrea shook her head, laughing with her. "Yeah, Natasha is a badass and takes no shit from anyone. She's Rick's right hand for a reason, trust me. She's a great person but she can be ruthless."

"Impressive," Maggie said, wide eyed.

Andrea leaned over and whispered a secret in Maggie's ear. The other woman gasped. "No way! I knew she looked familiar!"

"Yeah, but don't say anything to her. It's a sore subject," Andrea explained. "Her partner died during the outbreak."

"Hawkeye? Clint Barton?" Maggie asked. Andrea confirmed. "He's dead?"

Another sad nod. "She won't talk about what happened. All I know is it happened in Atlanta." She looked around. "Hey, let's go find Michonne and Tasha. We can gossip about Lori."

Maggie laughed and followed her.

* * *

Michonne and Natasha walked down the empty hallway to the laundry room, knowing no one would be in there.

"I certainly wasn't expecting that," Natasha said, taking a seat on a bench.

"Me either," Michonne agreed, sitting across from her. Leaned her sword against the wall. "Andrea told me Lori was pregnant but I don't think even she was expecting her to show up here married to the guy." She eyed the woman across from her. "Rick will need you later."

"I know," Natasha said. "Right now he needs to spend time with Carl. I'll talk to him tonight, when he's had time to process all this."

"He may need a while," Michonne said. She shook her head.

Andrea opened the door then, Maggie behind her. "You guys gossiping without me? I brought a friend."

They sat down, greeting each other.

"We talking about Lori?" Andrea asked.

"Of course," Natasha snorted.

"I can't believe she showed up here declaring herself Shane's wife and expecting Rick to talk to her. Did you see the looks she and Shane were giving each other, in front of Rick?" Andrea said angrily.

Maggie spoke up," Shane's been talking all winter about finding a place to stay. Carl, Daryl and Carol kept asking about looking for you guys but he would always snap at them, saying Rick was dead, Sophia surely was dead by now. Imagine his shock when we got there and there you all are."

Andrea smiled. "He did look shocked." She laughed. "Lori already asked me to take her to Rick and I told her no but don't expect that to be the last time she asks."

"Or she'll have Shane ask," Maggie said. "He'll try to bully one of you into taking him to Rick."

"Let him try," Michonne hissed.

"Rick has asked to be left alone," Natasha said. "He's with Carl right now but I have a feeling he'll be spending tonight in the Warden's office."

"I'm supposed to have watch with Merle tonight but I think I'll let Daryl take it instead," Michonne said. "We can tell them Rick has watch too and can't be bothered. That should keep them away for a while."

"Shane can be awfully pushy," Maggie warned.

"I push back," Natasha told her plainly.

"I know, I saw earlier," Maggie said with a smile. "I don't think he'll ever let that go."

"He's going to have to learn sooner or later that he's not in charge here," Michonne said. "And the women in this group aren't scared of him. He won't be pushing us around."

"Yeah," Andrea agreed. "From the beginning, the three of us made it clear that we weren't going to sit around cooking and cleaning while Rick and Merle did the dirty work. Natasha has been a big enforcer of gender equality."

"Really?" Maggie asked.

Andrea nodded. "We take watch and patrol. Natasha and Michonne go out on runs together alone. And at the same time, Rick, Merle, Abraham and Tyreese cook, have dish duty, everything."

"Merle cooks?!" Maggie exclaimed.

"He actually makes a mean baked quail," Andrea said. "And he's really good with Sophia. She adores him."

"From what everyone told me about Merle I just assumed he was some racist old hick."

"Don't listen to them," Michonne chimed in, giving Natasha a smile. "Get to know him before you judge him."

Maggie nodded slowly. "So how does it work here?"

"We're going to explain everything at dinner," Natasha said. "If you're comfortable with a gun you'll go on the watch list. Chores are distributed evenly and fairly. Everyone pitches in."

"I can't wait to see the look on Shane's face when he finds out he has to wash his own clothes," Maggie said with a laugh.

The others joined her, looking up when the door opened and Merle peeked inside.

"There y'all are," he said. "You hens gonna come to eat or keep sittin' in here cluckin'?"

Andrea stood up first. "Don't worry Merle, I'll sit with you so you won't be stuck with Lori."

"Hell as much as you talk I'd take Lori and her glares over you anyway," he said. "Least she's too scared to talk to me."

She patted his shoulder as she walked by. "Yeah, yeah, so you say."

He smiled after her and looked back at the others. "Well? Ya comin' or what? I ain't waitin' all day."

Maggie smiled at Michonne. "Big talker," she whispered as they left.

"What'd you say?"

"Nothing."

They walked toward the cafeteria laughing. Merle tried to scowl but found himself smiling instead.


	11. Lost Before I Started

**Disclaimer: Do not own any of this.**

* * *

**Chapter Eleven- Lost Before I Started**

"_**We are on a hiding to nowhere  
We still hope, but our dreams  
are not the same  
And I, I lost before I started  
I'm collapsing in stellar clouds of gas"**_

* * *

Rick was seated at the table between Carl and Natasha. Sophia and Carol had taken the last seats, forcing Lori to sit with Shane. Merle and Daryl were seated with Andrea, Abraham and Michonne. Everyone talked quietly amongst themselves through the meal. When finished, Rick stood up.

"Some of you were out when the new group arrived," he said. "This is the group we were with before, we were separated but we trust them. There's no threat here to anyone." He began making introductions, going around and pointing out everyone, leaving out the face Lori was his wife.

"Those of you who have just arrived, there are rules you have to follow," he went on. "Certain areas of the prison are locked and off limits because they still contain walkers. We haven't gotten around to clearing out every section yet. You're only allowed in the cell blocks, the yard, the gym and the library. The food pantry is off limits as our food has to be rationed. If you steal something, we will know. Sophia keeps incredibly accurate inventory lists."

He pointed at Natasha. "In the light of full disclosure, this is former Agent Natasha Romanoff. She was an agent for S.H.I.E.L.D. She's my second in command and if she tells you do something, you will do it without argument."

"Full disclosure," he said again, paused, then pointed. "Axel and Oscar were prisoners here."

Lori looked alarmed, grabbing Shane's arm.

"Axel was here on a drug charge, Oscar for larceny. They passed the probationary period and have lived peacefully with us for the past few months. They aren't violent and there's no reason for anyone to treat them differently."

Rick shifted. "Now, chores. Those who are comfortable with a gun will be added to the guard list. Everything else, well, everyone pitches in. In the next few days, Natasha will talk to each of you and add you to the rotation chart." He looked at the redhead. "Anything else?"

Natasha stood up. Assuming her most intimidating facial expression and coldest tone, she said, "This prison belongs to us. By us I mean Rick, Andrea, Merle, Michonne, Abraham, Sophia and myself. The seven of us cleared this space and took it over. You all are our guests here, which means you'll do your share of the work and follow the rules we set up. If you refuse, you'll be asked to leave. And when I say asked to leave I mean we pack a bag, blindfold you and drive you somewhere far away from here. We've done it before and I have no problem doing it again." Her eyes landed on Shane, who looked away.

"Any questions?" Rick asked, looking around. No one said anything. "Alright, I'm on watch tonight. If you need anything, see Natasha." He had told a lie, as Merle and Daryl were on watch, he just wanted to avoid Lori and Shane a little while longer. Natasha could handle them, though he felt bad using her as a shield.

He went into the warden's office, locking the door behind him. Sitting down at the desk, he began looking through the large stack of forms that Natasha had written out. Picking up a pen, he began filling in one of them, creating personal records for the group that had arrived earlier.

* * *

"Natasha?" Carol asked quietly, coming out of her cell. "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course, what's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong. It's just...earlier you said this prison belonged to Sophia too. She helped clear it out?"

"She did," Natasha confirmed. She explained the role Sophia had played in their plans.

Carol smiled proudly, tears in her eyes. "I can't believe how grown up she is."

Natasha smiled back. "You should talk to her. Birds and bees stuff. She got her period right after we got here."

Carol laughed softly. "I will. Thank you for keeping her safe when I couldn't."

"It wasn't just me," the redhead said with a smile. "But you're welcome." The women said their good nights and Natasha started toward her cell, only to be stopped again by Shane.

"Lori needs to see Rick."

"And?" She quirked an eyebrow.

"Unlock the door and take her out there to him," Shane ordered.

"No," she replied without blinking. "He's on watch. Besides no one is allowed off the block after bedtime unless they have watch. Last I checked you weren't in charge around here so get out of my way." She stared at him until he moved, gritting his teeth.

She fought a smirk as she sat down on her bunk, waiting for the group to fall asleep. When snores filled most of the block, Natasha got up and slipped down the hall, tightly holding the keys so they wouldn't jingle. She locked the door behind her. Just a few seconds later she heard the door behind her rattle, as if someone was checking to see if it were locked. Lori or Shane, no doubt.

Natasha rolled her eyes, continuing down the wall. She unlocked the door to the Warden's office and slipped inside.

Rick was sitting at the desk filling out papers. "I'm trying to fill out Lori's information but I don't know who to put under 'spouse'. Shane made it clear earlier what he thought but…."

"I think you should talk to Lori about that," she told him, propping her feet up on the desk. Her head tipped back so she was looking at the ceiling.

"I will." He sighed. "I'm just so damn mad at her. And Shane." Hands covered his face for a long moment. Then he sat up, pushed the papers away and unfolded the map. "I've been thinking about that gated community we found. There are more of us now so it would be a good idea to move over there. We'll also do it quicker and easier. With all the couples here they'll want more privacy."

"One of the houses can be an office of sorts, city hall maybe," Natasha suggested, still staring at the white tiles above her. "Put a library in there, a classroom so the kids could go to school."

"How would we assign the rooms? Everyone gets their own house? Put the couples in their own house and everyone else together?"

"We could always turn one or two houses into a boarding house for those that don't want to be alone," she mused. "We'll figure it out after we talk to everyone." She sat up so she could look at him.

Rick looked up at her. "We're talking about creating a new town here. Starting fresh."

Natasha nodded. "What do we call it? Zombieland?"

Rick laughed. "I think Zombieland is taken. How about Pleasantville?"

"So original," she teased, glad that he was laughing with her.

Suddenly he sobered up. "You should go to bed, we have a lot to do in the morning."

"So do you," she shot back.

"I'll sleep here tonight."

"You can't avoid her forever," she told him, standing.

"I know, I just…can't yet."

Natasha nodded. "Good night, Rick."

"Night, Tasha."

She paused at the door. "I've never been in your place before so I can't give you advice that will help." She looked at the floor. "But I know you and I know you'll do the right thing here. I trust you." Then she shut the door, never looking up.

Rick sat, staring at the door in shock. A small smiled formed on his face, chest swelling with the honor Natasha's words had bestowed on him.

* * *

Rick was pacing by the fence when he heard the timid footsteps behind him. Without turning, he knew who it was.

"Thought I was never going to get you alone," Lori said lightly. "Your 'angels' do a good job keeping you from us." Now she sounded bitter.

He glanced at her. "You shouldn't be out here."

"We need to talk." She moved closer, hand reaching out to touch his arm. Rick moved away.

"So you and Shane?" he said. "Is it true he's the father?" Lori was silent. Rick pushed off the fence. "That's all I need to hear."

"Wait, Rick."

"No, you cheated on me," he hissed. "With my best friend. And he called you his wife."

"I thought you were dead."

"At the quarry? Or after the farm?"

She shook her head, not knowing what to say.

Rick looked at the ground. "So what do you want?"

"What?"

"Choose. Me or Shane?"

"I can't-"

He sighed heavily, closing his eyes. "I'll make it easier for you." He took off his wedding band and handed it to her. She shook her head, refusing to take it. "Either you choose me or you choose him. I won't stand around letting you make a fool out of me. If you won't choose I'll do it for you."

Lori finally put her hand out and took the ring, sobbing as she did so.

"Consider us divorced," he said, his voice heavy with his own tears as he walked away.

* * *

Natasha stood in the guard tower, trying to ignore the scene unfolding before her. She saw Lori take the ring from Rick and waddle into the prison, wiping tears from her face. She didn't need to watch Rick to know where he was going. He would come to her eventually, right now he needed to be alone.

A moment later, Maggie and Andrea climbed into the tower. "What happened?" Andrea asked, knowing Natasha had seen.

"I think they're done," she explained. Both women went wide eyed.

"Wow," Andrea said. Maggie just shook her head slowly. The blonde turned and sat down against the rail. "Can't say I blame him. Lori should have known better."

The three fell silent until Natasha decided to change the subject. "Rick's planning to check out that housing development again. I'm taking Daryl, Glenn, Merle and Sophia tomorrow. We may start moving in soon."

"That's great," Andrea said with a smile.

Maggie looked up. "The what?"

Natasha explained what they had found. "It's empty now. Tomorrow we're going to go collect the useful supplies, stockpile what we can and get rid of the rest. Sophia is going so she can start our inventory logs."

"That would be amazing," Maggie sighed.

"Yeah," Andrea agreed. "Having a real bed again." She smiled.

"We would be creating a new town so to speak," Natasha said. "That would mean new rules."

"This is huge," Andrea said.

"It's just what we need," Maggie decided. The three women looked at each other sharing a smile.

* * *

Rick had shown up for dinner, sitting at the table next to Carl. When the meal was over he took his son for a walk around the perimeter. The next morning, Natasha collected the names of everyone who wished to be placed on watch duty. Then went to the warden's office and drew up a new chore chart. There had been a bulletin board in the office but Tyreese had taken it down and hung it in the cellblock.

Natasha pinned up the chore list and rotation charts then reminded everyone to look over it and not to forget their jobs. She was heading back to the office when Sophia ran after her.

"Lori says the baby is coming! She needs mom and Maggie!" she half yelled, excited.

"Go back to Lori, tell her they're coming."

Sophia ran off and Natasha sprinted to the laundry room. Carol jumped when the door swung open. "Lori's in labor."

"Oh my God!" the woman exclaimed, leaping up and rushing off toward the cells.

Natasha found Maggie in the shower, who ran off squealing and shoving clothes onto her still wet body. Natasha then went to the yard, Rick and Carl were just approaching the door. She passed the news onto them.

Rick looked sad. "Carl, you should go inside, see your mom. Your little brother or sister is about to be born."

Carl shook his head. "I'll wait with you."

"I have some work to do."

"He can come if he behaves," Natasha chimed in.

Carl smiled up at her and Rick nodded. He called for Glenn, Daryl and Merle. Quickly Rick explained the plan for the day. "Tasha will show you where," he said. "Don't forget Sophia." He turned and went inside, Carl followed.

"Let's go then," Glenn said.

* * *

"This big area will be the cemetery," Natasha said, holding up the map Michonne had drawn."

Daryl nodded. "We can plant crops over there by the pond. Maggie can take that house and be our farmer." He looked at Glenn. "Guess that makes you the farmer's wife."

"Ha ha," Glenn replied.

Merle laughed.

Natasha shook her head. "Come on. Let's split up. Me, Michonne and Sophia. Merle, Daryl and Glenn. Any clothes or supplies that could be useful, pile it on the front yard of each house. Any food still good goes by the font door. There should be trash bags inside the houses, bag up anything spoiled and throw it out. Let's just get everything together then we'll worry about sorting and distribution later. Sophia, you can start inventory logs when you get ready." Natasha pointed at a house in the middle. "We'll start with that one. That's going to be our city hall. One room will be turned into an office, a library and a classroom for the kids. Doctor's office, conference room, the works. We're planning to put extra clothes, weapons and food in there as well so it can be distributed evenly."

"So that house needs to be cleared out completely to make room for desks, office furniture, the whole nine yards. Let's go."

The group started toward the house and began their work.

Merle and Natasha were picking through cabinets in a house when Merle decided to get chatty.

"Fucked up shit with Rick and Lori huh?"

"You could say that," she agreed.

"I never liked ol' Shane much. Kind of a prick, ya know?"

She grinned. "Yeah."

"Rick's the one who cuffed me to that roof," Merle said, glancing down at his right arm. "Ain't it fucked up I like him better than I like Shane?" He laughed loudly.

Natasha joined him. "I hear he rubs people the wrong way. No one seemed very fond of him."

"Cause he's a dick," Merle stated matter-of-factly.

She full on smiled. "Daryl tell you about their adventures this winter?"

"Oh yeah." He threw some canned vegetables into a bag. "You really think we can live here? In these houses, I mean? Ain't that just askin' for trouble?"

"What do you mean? Isn't this what they want?"

He shrugged. "Living in that prison reminds us we ain't in the same world as before. We wake up everyday seein' those walls, that fence, those cells, the chains on some doors, we know where we are. Everybody has their guards up, no one relaxes. While that used to be a bad thing, now it could be the difference between life and death, ya know?"

"Yeah," Natasha agreed, though he didn't hear her.

"If we move in here, it reminds us of the lives we used to have, or something better than we used to have, in my case. Big houses like this, all this fancy furniture, nice big beds, sure it's great but ain't what we need." Merle shook his head. "Livin' here, get too comfortable, we forget how to survive out there."

"Rick says it's what the group needs. A taste of their old lives."

Merle snorted. "Naw, it's just a, what do you call it, illusion? Yeah. Ain't real, just playin' pretend is all."

"You think we should stay in the prison?"

He shrugged again. "Don't matter what I think, I ain't the one in charge here. Or 'supposedly second in command' but we all know who really wears the pants around this group." He winked at her.

She rolled her eyes at his implication. "I agree with you, the prison is the safest place. But we could take in more survivors here, make this place safer and make it into a home. They can start over here."

Merle pondered it. "If the world ever goes back to how it was, wouldn't any of us would know what to do in that world. Who wants to go back to that shit world anyway? Politics, economic crash, bullshit justice system." He shook his head. "Fuck it. Who needs it?"

Natasha stared at him, seeing another new side to him. There was more to Merle Dixon than the others knew, he was smarter and more aware than they thought. "Yeah. Who needs it," she repeated, turning away.

"Hey, I wanna ask you something," Merle said.

"What's up?" Natasha asked, facing him.

"Before, you said this place is what _the group_ needs, a taste of _their_ old lives. You said this is what_ the group_ wants, where _they_ can start over. Why do you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Exclude yourself from the group like that?" he asked. One thing you can say about Merle, he would always call you out on your shit.

"I don't belong with them," she finally admitted.

Merle snorted. "And I do?"

She nodded. "You deserve to start your life over fresh."

"And you don't?" he shot back. Her silence told him all he needed to know. He stopped sifting through boxes of crackers and turned to face her, crossing his arms over his chest. "You don't think you're good enough for that group," he concluded.

Natasha bristled, hating it being said aloud.

Merle shook his head. "I can't believe this. What's wrong with you, Red?"

She looked at the floor. "You and I traveled together long before we met up with everyone else. How long was it just you and me? I know you've heard me talk in my sleep."

He nodded. "Yeah, and?"

"You know what I've done, you know who I am."

Merle held up a finger. "Who you _were_," he corrected. "Don't none of that shit mean nothing anymore. You don't need to worry bout what they think about you, fuck them if they don't think you're good enough. You don't know what I've done." He shook his head. "If I deserve a chance to start over then so do you."

Natasha absorbed his words. "Thanks, Merle," she said finally.

He grinned at her. "Don't mention it, Red."


	12. I'm Rearranging

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

* * *

**Chapter Twelve- I'm Rearranging**

"_**This is the time and the place  
We are ever changing  
Close my eyes,  
Look inside, now I can see your face  
Another time, another place  
Although I'm rearranging  
I'm still here, I'm never far away"**_

* * *

It took just over six days to clear out every house in the community. They had stockpiled all the food and clothes in the town hall. An office had been set up for Rick, complete with filing cabinets for the group's personal files.

They had started a decent library on the first floor and set up a classroom for the children. A room had been set up as a doctor's office but had very little medical supplies beyond basic first aid items. The group returned to the prison with high spirits.

Natasha didn't see Rick in the yard when she arrived but knew exactly where he was. She walked into the Warden's office without bothering to knock. Rick was seated on the long leather couch and not at the desk, like usual. He had his feet propped up on the table and a glass of bourbon in hand.

"You're spending too much time in here," she commented, taking a seat next to him. "At least you look more relaxed."

Rick shrugged.

"Did you leave this room at all while I was gone?"

He looked guilty. "Yes," he said with a bit of irritation. He took another sip from his glass. "I've gotten Carol to draw up some more medical forms and pass them out to everyone. I think it'll be important to record who has allergies and things like that. I've asked around, trying to decide what laws will keep from the old world. We'll take a vote at dinner tonight." He rubbed his face. "How did it go out there?"

"We've got a lot of supplies rounded up, one of the houses cleared out for our town hall," she told him. "Merle and Daryl stayed behind to keep a watch over the place. All that's left to do is pack up here and go."

Rick rubbed his face again. "I don't know if I can run a whole town," he said quietly, finally admitting what was bothering him.

She put a hand on his arm. "You've proved you're a good leader. It won't be that hard."

"It seems like most of the time, I ask you and you make the decisions," he said with a smile. "Maybe you should be our leader, Mayor Romanoff?"

Natasha shook her head. "That would never work. I would have someone killed for stealing as easily as I would kill for treason," she said lightly.

Rick's eyes widened. "Are you joking? Is Natasha Romanoff actually capable of a sense of humor?"

"Who said I was joking? I was proposing a new law."

"Proposal denied," Rick said with a laugh.

"Ricktator." She poked his ribs. "We need a group vote on that."

Rick laughed harder. "I don't think you're going to pass that law, Stalin."

She smiled. She couldn't believe how easily she was joking with Rick about her past. Her friendship with Clint hadn't even been this easy.

"What's wrong?" Rick asked, his laughter dying down.

"Nothing." She blinked.

"You sure? Kinda zoned out on me there for a minute."

"Just thinking."

"About?" he asked, though he honestly didn't expect her to answer.

But Natasha realized she wanted to tell him everything and didn't feel annoyed he was pressing her for information.

Just as Rick was about to change the subject, she spoke, "My parents died when I was a child." Her voice was soft as if afraid to speak too loudly. Rick turned to give her his full attention. "I was about five, I think. I was saved by a man named Ivan and he raised me as my surrogate father." She looked away from him, staring at the wall.

"I was taken to a place called Department X with a bunch of other little girls, all of us orphans. They brainwashed us, trained us…in the Red Room. I was fifteen when I was sent out for the first time. They implanted false memories, told me I used to be a ballerina."

"It wasn't until I fell in love for the first time and discovered it was all lies," she said flatly. "His name was James. "They never knew about our relationship. Ivan tried to force me to marry some test pilot but by then I knew the truth and I wanted out. I have, what you could say, a very specific skill set. So I went out and killed whoever I needed to survive. My actions were noticed by S.H.I.E.L.D. and they sent Clint Barton to kill me." She paused again.

"Instead he brought me back to the U.S. with him and I swore my loyalty to S.H.I.E.L.D. but I'd really sworn it to Clint. He's the only reason I'm still alive today. The only reason I didn't murder half of Russia in my quest for vengeance." She stopped again. "He used to tell me I was good. I always believed I was only good because of him."

Natasha looked at Rick. "In the old days, I would have killed Merle when I found him in that alley. He was unconscious and had one hand, what good was he to me? I wouldn't have killed Sophia right away but I wouldn't have kept her with me either. I think I would have killed the walkers behind her, given her a chance to get away. That day I met Michonne in the doctor's office? She would have been dead before she even saw my face. Same for you and Andrea that day in the store."

"Why didn't you then?" Rick asked softly. "You said Clint was the only reason you were good but he's dead and you didn't revert back to your old ways. That's how I know you have good in you. Instead of killing Merle, you helped him. You could have left him with us and gone off on your own or killed us all. Instead, you've helped all of us. You're a good person." He smiled a little. "You're better than you give yourself credit for."

Natasha listened to his speech, feeling his words settle in her heart. "Maybe you're right."

"What happened to James?" Rick asked, curious.

"He actually trained me. They called him the Winter Soldier," she explained. "When they didn't need him they kept him in stasis. I was told he was killed for betraying Ivan, for what I don't know. Over the years I've heard rumors that he was alive and Ivan had lied to me but I never got a solid confirmation. When they told me he died, that's when I went on my killing spree that put the target on my back. I killed Ivan first, in front of all his lackeys. Then I killed them, moved onto anyone and everyone I thought deserved it. I thought I'd never find anyone like James again. He always accepted me for what I was. When I started to learn the truth about what was going on he didn't lie to me. I really loved him." She grew silent then.

Rick was silent for a long time. "Do you remember after Tyreese's group got here and Andrew broke our chains? Let all those walkers in? When I told you we were all infected?"

"I remember," she confirmed.

"I asked you, if you were so hopeless why didn't you just opt out? You said you made a promise. What did you mean?"

"I made a promise to Clint," she answered.

"That's what I figured." He stared at her expectantly.

Natasha took a deep breath and told him about Atlanta. "The first case of a dead person returning to life occurred in Forest Park, Georgia. Dr. Banner came to the CDC to assist the scientists in their search to discover what it was. Clint and I were sent to accompany him. Bruce spent all his time at the CDC so when the virus went widespread, we found ourselves assisting the F.B.I. and Atlanta P.D. to contain the outbreak. We failed, obviously. We were actually on our way to the CDC when we came across Merle.

"Clint got him off the roof while I was fighting to get a vehicle to get out of the city. Then he yelled for help, when I got there he told me to take Merle and go. Said he'd mumbled something about his brother. Clint told me to get him out of the city, get him to his brother if I could and I agreed. I tried to get him to come with me and he showed me the bites.

"Clint was bitten and I wasn't there," she said, staring at her lap. "Rule number three and I failed." She bit her lip and took a deep breath. "The promise I made to him was that I wouldn't give up just because he was gone. I promised I would get Merle out of Atlanta, get him to his brother if I could and save as many people as I could. And that I would mourn for him.

"The last thing he said to me was 'watch your back and don't let me die in vain'. Then he told me he was sorry, kissed me and pushed me away."

Silence settled over them.

"Did you keep your promise?" Rick asked quietly.

"I saved Merle, got him back to Daryl. I saved Sophia, formed this group. Got us a safe place to stay and saved this group numerous times. I'd say that I did," she said.

"What about that last part? About mourning him? You never want to talk about him."

She stared at the ground, avoiding Rick's gaze. "I don't know how," she admitted.

"Tell me something about him," Rick said, shifting sideways to face her. "I'll help you."

She thought about it. "He was the best man I've ever known. Pure heart of gold. Sure he was an assassin but he kept me from going back to my old self. He forced me to be human, years of brainwashing was reversed because of him." Natasha paused. "When I saw that bite…I don't think I fully comprehended it. Clint knew he was dead and I did too in some part of my brain. But I wouldn't accept it. Everything happened so fast. He was saying his goodbyes forcing me to make promises before I knew what I was agreeing to." She felt a slight wave of bitterness toward Clint for a moment.

"Do you miss him?" Rick asked.

"Of course I do." She almost rolled her eyes at the ridiculous question.

"Why?"

"What?"

"Why do you miss him?"

Natasha squirmed. She realized this was exactly what he wanted. Rick wanted her to mourn for Clint like she had promised.

"He was my rock," she said finally. "The light to my darkness." She sniffed. "We were the best. No one in the world could match us. Drug lords, criminal masterminds, an alien army were all brought down by us and yet it was a mindless reanimated corpse that brought him down. And it was my fault because I wasn't there."

"And what about James?"

"What about him?" she almost snapped.

"Did you ever mourn for him? Properly, I mean?"

"I don't know," she said with a sniff. "It's been so long. I spilled blood in his memory, wasn't that enough?"

"Tell me about him," Rick insisted.

She found the words wouldn't come to her then. "I loved him. I trusted him," she whispered. "I needed them both, to keep me human." Now she started to cry. She sat forward, watching the memories flash before her eyes. Tokyo, Budapest, Sydney. Moscow, Rio, Paris.

Rick put an arm around her, surprised when she turned her head, her face buried into his neck. Tears poured from her eyes, soaking Rick's t-shirt. Hands fisted in his shirt, she was full on sobbing now. Rick was silent, arms wrapped around her in comfort.

Natasha shook her head slightly, mumbling something that sounded like, "should have been me." Rick didn't say anything, letting her cry herself out.

Finally, she sat up and wiped her face. Wisely, Rick didn't comment on her episode. He did place a hand on her back, gently rubbing until she calmed down.

"Clint wouldn't want you to give up," Rick said finally. "His death should encourage you to fight harder. He died to save you, yes, but you can't let that be for nothing. And it wasn't your fault."

Natasha forced herself to breathe normally, getting her emotions under control. She knew Rick was right. "But you said we're all infected," she commented softly. "We're all going to die and become one of them. We're dead already."

"Maybe not. Maybe there's a cure, maybe it will work itself out of our systems over generations. There's still hope." Though even he was feeling defeated lately. After spending so much time _hoping_ he would find Lori and Carl, _hoping_ they would be alive, _hoping_ they could work things out and it had all been for nothing. They had been alive but there was no working things out now.

Natasha found she had words on her tongue but her mouth wouldn't open to let them out. "Maybe you're right," she said finally.

Rick stood up. "Let's go talk to the group." He put his hand on her lower back to guide her into the hall. Natasha found herself leaning into his touch.

"Hey!" Glenn said, rounding the corner just as Rick was closing the door. If he noticed Natasha's bloodshot eyes he didn't comment on them. "I was thinking we should make a supply run before we make the big move. Carol says she can make clothes and blankets if we can get the things she needs."

"We can do that," Rick agreed. "Let's have Carol make a list and we'll plan a run in the next few days. Anything else?"

Glenn shifted. "Lori says she needs things for the baby. Actually, Lori asked nicely, Shane yelled at me to get off my ass and do something."

Natasha looked at Rick. "I can handle him if you want."

"You can't kill him, Tasha," Rick said with a sigh.

"I'll make it painless."

"Tasha," he warned.

"Or not?"

He looked at her, seeing the corner of her mouth twitch. "No."

She pouted. "Fine. I'm going to talk to Carol." She nudged him with her elbow and walked away.

Glenn watched her go, then looked at Rick. "What's up with you guys?"

"What do you mean?"

Glenn rolled his eyes. "You know what I mean."

Rick shook his head. "She's my friend. She's helped me a lot in the past few months. There's nothing else going on so stop grinning like that. I'm not completely ready to move on from Lori yet."

"Rick, man," Glenn sighed.

He held up a hand. "I know what she and Shane did but doesn't make my feelings for her just disappear."

"You gotta move on, though. Lori's…" he waved his hands. "Doing something with Shane."

"I'm aware," Rick said dryly.

"Have you talked to her?"

Rick shifted. "Not really," he admitted.

"You should do that then. A long conversation and get the whole story. You know, closure."

Rick looked at him. "Thanks, kid. Why don't you go help Natasha or Abraham?"

"Natasha is with Carol talking about fabric and Abraham is in the shower," Glenn said.

"So go chase squirrels with Sophia." Rick chuckled.

Glenn put his hands up in surrender. "Fine, I'll go. I know when I'm not wanted." He walked away smiling.

Rick shook his head, walking toward the cafeteria. Most of the group was there when he sat down next to Carl. The others filed in shortly after. When they had finished, Rick stood and explained their impending move to the gated community.

"In the next few days, I'll need you all to decide where you'd like to live and let Carol know so she can make a list," he said, explaining the boarding house idea. "Natasha is planning a supply run as well. If you need anything, make a list and give it to Natasha in the next few days."

Everyone agreed and began breaking off to their own devices. Rick hung back and walked slowly to the cell block, unsure of what he was going to do.

He could hear baby Judith crying, Lori and Shane talking softly to her. Rick paused outside the cell, watching them.

Shane was holding the baby girl, gazing at her as if she were the whole world in his hands. He glanced up, giving Lori a look filled with love and adoration. Lori smiled at him, returning his affections.

It was in that moment Rick knew why Lori had refused to make a choice the other day. She loved Shane and wanted to choose him, but didn't want to hurt Rick in the process.

Rick cleared his throat before he lost his nerve. "Lori, you got a minute?"

Shane looked hesitant but Lori nodded and stood up. "I'll be right back." She touched Judith's head, brushing her fingers over Shane's chin before following Rick. The former couple walked in silence until they reached the office Rick had holed up in. He let her in and they sat down, staring awkwardly at each other.

"She's beautiful," Rick commented.

"Yeah," Lori agreed with a smile.

"Just tell me why," Rick blurted. "What the hell happened out there?"

Lori took a deep breath and covered her face with her hands. Rick noticed her wedding band was missing. She looked up and tearfully explained everything.

"It started before you were shot," she admitted. "For years I noticed Shane looking at me, watching me whenever he came to the house. I ignored it for a long time. The more I noticed him looking at me, the more I noticed you weren't looking at me. It seemed like you were working all the time and I never saw you. One night, you and I had a fight and I told you to leave. Shane came over looking for you and the way he looked at me..." She drifted off, remembering. "It was like I was the only woman in the world. I missed when you looked at me like that. How you always put me first before we were married. That was the first night. I felt so guilty, so worried that you would find out. But I felt like I was mad at you because you didn't give me the attention Shane did, as bad as it sounds. I blamed you for it, actually. You weren't there when I needed you and it forced me to get attention from somewhere else."

Her eyes filled with tears. "Then you got shot and went into a coma and I didn't know what to do anymore. I felt so guilty for all our fights; shutting you out, emotionally then physically. And I remembered what I said to you that morning about not caring about Carl and I." Lori sniffed. "Shane was just there for me. Told me that none of it mattered anymore and that you would be okay and come home to me. I screamed at him in the middle of the hospital, for him to leave me alone. That night I went to his house because I couldn't be alone in our house knowing you weren't coming home. He was there the morning the outbreak happened. He had gone to the station, the hospital, then came to get Carl and me." She wiped her eyes and told him the rest, the quarry, the farm and the months on the road.

"You came back from the dead once I didn't expect you to do it twice. Especially since Daryl _saw_ you get shot. Then one day I found myself hoping you wouldn't come back because I was in love with Shane."

Rick winced, hearing her say it out loud. It hurt, hearing that he hadn't given her attention and that Shane had stayed in the home he shared with Lori.

"I'm so sorry, Rick. I don't know what I was thinking. It just happened and we couldn't stop it," Lori said, starting to sob.

Rick swallowed thickly. "It's uh, it's okay," he said lamely.

She wiped her face. "It's not. We knew what we were doing was wrong and I'm sorry you have to see us together and see the baby and…I can't imagine how you feel but I can't help what I feel for him. I'm so sorry." She started to cry again.

Rick didn't know what to do or say. He had lost his wife and best friend to each other.

Lori finally calmed down.

"I want you to know I looked for you all winter," Rick said. "We took this prison and I made it safe for you and Carl to have a place when I found you. I'm not telling you this to make you feel bad but I want you to understand what I did for you, what I went through for you and what you did to me, and how I felt when I saw you with him the day you got here." He took a deep breath.

"You hate me," she whispered.

Rick shook his head. "I'm pissed at you, and Shane. I don't know when I'll be able to forgive you, if ever. But I could never hate you."

Lori allowed herself to smile. "You're too good."

He shrugged. "I've been told that before."

She wiped her eyes again. "I hope you can find someone else, Rick. I want you to be happy, you deserve it."

"Yeah, maybe I will." Natasha's face flashed in his mind.

"Natasha maybe?" Lori teased with a slight smile, wiping her eyes.

Rick almost choked. "No offense, but I don't think you're the person to talk to about this."

Lori smiled. "You're right. I just want you to know I really want you to be happy."

"Thank you. Now let's get you back to your baby," he said standing up.

Lori grabbed him in a hug before he even saw it coming. She released him and started out the door.

"I have a question," she started, as they walked back. "Maggie told me something a few days ago, she said Andrea told her but I need to know if she was just messing with me."

"What is it?" Rick questioned.

"Is Natasha really an Avenger?"

* * *

**A/N: Lots and lots of things coming out into the open, hope it wasn't too much for one chapter...let me know what you all think.**

**~JLL**


	13. Welcome to the Land of Fire

**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine.**

* * *

**Chapter Thirteen- Welcome to the Land of Fire**

"_**Welcome to the land of fire  
I hope you brought the right attire,  
The crippled man is waiting at the door"**_

* * *

Rick pushed a list across the table. "That's what we'll need from town. Who's going?"

"You know I will," Natasha said, taking the paper. "Been a while since I've gone out."

"Will you take Maggie?" Glenn asked. "She's going nuts cooped up here all day." The look on his face said that wasn't an exaggeration.

"Sure, she can go," Natasha said. Glenn smiled and jumped up to go tell her the news.

"Why don't you come too?" Natasha asked Rick. "When was the last time you went out?"

"We can't both go, someone has to run this place. You can take someone else if you like," he said.

"I'll take Merle. I miss running around with him," she mused.

"I hope that's the only reason you're taking him," Rick said with a smile.

"Why? Would you be jealous?" she teased.

"Yes," Rick answered quickly.

She grinned. "You have no idea how to flirt do you?"

He laughed, embarrassed. "I really don't."

Natasha got up, giving him a smile. "I'll see you when I get back. Maybe you should ask Daryl for advice."

Rick laughed loudly. "You want me to take love advice from a guy who professed his love by yelling 'you give me a heart boner' across a prison yard?"

Natasha looked at him. "Worked for him didn't it? And I believe it was 'affection erection'."

He followed her into the hall. "I talked to Lori."

"I know, I heard her telling Shane." She looked up at him. "Are you alright?"

He nodded. "I think I will be. It's still weird but I'm getting used to it. It'll get easier, I guess."

Natasha was quiet. "I think it will. You should spend more time with Carl. He's confused about what's going on."

"Did he say something to you?"

"No, he said something to Sophia and I overheard."

Rick smirked. "You don't miss anything do you?"

She shook her head. "Not much."

They reached the yard, finding the others loading up.

"Be careful out there," he said, looking away from her. "It's further out than we've been before, you don't know what's out there."

"We'll handle it," she said. Seeing the worried expression on his face, she added lightly, "I'm an Avenger, remember."

He smiled then. "Get out of here."

They shared a look before Natasha turned to get in the car. Rick watched her go. When the car was out of sight, he turned to search for his son.

* * *

Merle led the way through the empty town. He paused outside of a store, keeping guard while the women slipped inside.

Natasha noticed Maggie's eyes flickering over at a shelf. "You think you're pregnant?"

Maggie sighed, shuffling over and taking a few boxes. "I should have known you would notice."

Natasha smiled. "Is that why Glenn says you're acting strange? He thinks it's because you've been stuck in the prison so long."

Maggie shrugged, opening her mouth to answer but stopped when the door opened and Merle ducked inside. "Three guys came around the corner," he said, already locking the door. "They saw me and they're coming."

Natasha pulled Maggie through the store to the back door. It was yanked open just as they reached it. Maggie screamed as Natasha shoved her to the ground. A gun went off, Natasha felt the bullet rip through her arm. She moved forward anyway, throwing a punch at the first gut she could reach. She twisted his neck and dropped him to the ground.

The second man pulled a knife, which Natasha kicked out of his hands and threw an elbow into his face a second later. The third guy grabbed her hair and pulled her back. She kicked backwards and connected with a knee. She spun around, throwing her own knee into the man's chest.

Natasha heard another gun shot and felt a blinding pain erupt in her shoulder. Taking advantage of her distraction, the man grabbed her and snapped handcuffs on her wrists. She was turned around to face a tall man pointing a gun at her.

"What do we have here?" he smirked.

Natasha had been face to face with men of pure evil, men could kill her as easily as they fuck her. This man may have been bad but Natasha wasn't even a little afraid of him or his mall cop security. But one goon had a gun on Maggie and one on Merle. Had Natasha been alone she would have killed them all. Maggie could be pregnant and Natasha didn't have it in her to put their lives at risk.

"What's your name?" the man asked.

"Natasha."

The man smiled. "Well, Natasha. They call me the Governor. Now you and your friend are gonna come with me alright?"

She said nothing.

"Put the women in the truck," he ordered.

"What about him?"

The governor looked down at Merle. "Kill him."

"No," Maggie choked out.

Natasha used her fingers to pull off a thin silver bracelet around her wrist. Carol had given it to her as a thank you for helping Sophia. It was thin and the clasp snapped easily. Natasha let it drop to the floor without a sound.

She was pushed forward as Maggie was pulled up from the floor. She locked eyes with Merle for a moment. In his eyes was peace, he had no fear at all. "Take care of Daryl when you get back. Rick and the young'uns too," he said in an even voice.

"I promise," she said, being pushed again.

Maggie was still crying.

There was a gunshot outside.

"What the hell was that?" the governor yelled. There was another gunshot and he shoved the door open, fired his own gun and ducked back inside. "Get the women in the truck and get rid of him already. The biters will be out here soon." He moved from the doorway and picked up the squirming body of a child. Another gunshot went off inside the store just as Maggie gasped, "Carl!"

* * *

Carl had been dumped in the back of the van with Maggie and Natasha. The latter had gotten out of her cuffs, pulled off her jacket it to hold it against the gushing wound on Carol's head. When they stopped, the Governor had someone take him to away to "see the doctor." Then the girls were locked in cells in the Governor's basement.

Maggie sat in the corner of her cell, shaking slightly as she stared straight ahead. "Tasha?" she spoke quietly. "What are we going to do?"

The redhead faced her. "No matter what they do or say, you can not give up any information. Don't tell them how many are in our group, where they are. If you're pushed and can't hold out, lie. You guys were all over the place last winter, tell them one of those places, hell, tell them about your farmhouse.

Maggie nodded. "I'll do my best."

"I'm going to get us out of here and I'll get you home safe, I swear it." She swallowed hard.

"What about Carl? What was he doing there? How did he even get there?"

"He most likely hid in the back of the car," Natasha thought aloud. "Why he didn't just stay hidden, I don't know."

"Did you see how bad that wound was? Oh, god, what if they can't save him? What if he dies?" Maggie whispered. "That would crush Rick, after everything with Lori and oh my God, Merle." She sobbed into her hands.

Natasha's heart dropped into her stomach.

Maggie's head suddenly snapped up. "What if they realize Carl is gone and we don't come back so they come looking and find Merle's body? What if they think we killed Merle and ran off with Carl?"

Natasha looked her in the eyes. "Maggie, calm down. Why would they think that?"

The brunette sighed, scrubbing her hands over her face. "I don't know, I'm just…"

"Panicking. You need to get a hold of yourself." Natasha leaned against the wall. "I left my distress signal."

"Your what?"

She wrapped her left hand around her wrist. "Carol gave me a bracelet as a thank you for taking care of Sophia. I broke it and dropped it on the floor after they cuffed me. If they look for us, they'll find it and Rick will know what it means."

"But they won't know where we are," Maggie said.

"It's a signal for them to let them know there's trouble around so they know to be careful."

"So they won't come for us?" Maggie asked tearfully.

Natasha shook her head. "They'll try, of course they'll try. Rick will look for us. Glenn will insist on coming along. Daryl and Michonne will try to track us. Considering all the shots fired off, no doubt a horde was attracted, that's going to ruin any trail we left. They may be able to track the tire prints on the road a few miles, which is a long shot but it's possible they might even make it here, plot a way to get inside and maybe they'll succeed. Considering the laughably small amount of extra gas we have, that whole thing could take at least a week."

She looked at the woman across from her. "I don't think we have that long. I will get you and Carl out of here or I will die trying. But you have to trust me and push your thoughts of the group away. Their safety rests on us now. If the governor finds them, he will kill Glenn, Rick, Daryl, all of the men just as easily as they killed Merle. What would happen to Sophia or baby Judith? Only we know where the group is and if I have to die to keep them safe so be it. I know their lives are more valuable than mine. Are you prepared to do the same?"

Maggie thought about it for a long time. "Yes," she said finally, placing her hands over her stomach. "We can't let anything happen to them, not after all we've been through."

Natasha nodded once. "I'll figure something out." _I promise_, she added silently. She closed her eyes but the tears fell anyway.

* * *

Rick climbed the tower where T-Dog was keeping watch. "Any sign of them?"

"Nope," he answered sadly. It was full dark, they should have been back hours ago. "Maybe they just ran out of gas and had to walk back," T-Dog suggested half-heartedly.

Rick shrugged. "Maybe. Daryl, Glenn and I are going to look for them in the morning. Abraham, Andrea and Michonne are holding down the fort while we're gone."

"Yes, sir," he replied.

Rick climbed down.

"Still nothing?" Lori asked as soon as Rick entered the cell block. She started to cry when he shook his head. "Why would he go with them? And why aren't they back?"

Shane pulled her close to him, trying to calm her. Rick looked away.

"Lori, he's probably just bored being here all the time and saw a chance to get out," Rick said. "He's with Natasha, she's not going to let anything happen to him, you can bet on that."

"Better fucking not," Shane snarled. "I'll kill the bitch with my bare hands."

"Shane, just shut up," Glenn snapped, surprising everyone. "You won't do anything, especially not to her. Or did you forget she put you on the ground the day we got here? Just stop it." He turned away angrily.

Rick almost smiled. "Glenn, Daryl and I are going to look for them first thing in the morning. While we're gone, Abraham, Andrea and Daryl will be in charge. Andrea, I'll leave my keys with you. Michonne has Tasha's."

"Okay," the blonde agreed, a little peeved about being left behind but glad she had some responsibility.

Everyone went to bed after that, ready to get an early start.

* * *

"There's the car," Glenn pointed out sadly.

Rick stopped behind it and Daryl jumped out, leading them into the town, following the occasional footprint left in blood or dirt. There were several walkers in the streets that they disposed of quietly.

"Bunch of footprints here. Look," Daryl said, pointing. "I bet those smaller ones belong to Carl."

"So he was here with them?" Rick asked, hopeful.

"Yeah, he might be hurt though." Daryl pointed at a set of small footprints, a splatter of blood and drag marks.

Rick felt his stomach clench. "Are they still here? They wouldn't travel if he was hurt."

"Nah, something's wrong," Daryl said. There was a trail of blood leading from a store to the road. "In here." He pointed. They pushed the door open, the smell of decay hitting them instantly. On high alert, the three men made their way inside.

Daryl saw the body first and screamed in anguish. He kicked over several shelves, creating an awful racket. Then he left the room, hiding his tears.

Glenn looked at Rick, also teary eyed. Daryl came back with a sheet, laying it gently over his brother's body. They stood in silence for a long time, waiting.

Finally Daryl began to breathe normally, pulling himself together. They had a job to do.

"No sign of the girls? Carl?" he asked, voice thick.

Glenn shook his head sadly.

Daryl walked over to the back door and looked at all the blood. "Either Maggie or Natasha is hurt. Something happened here. The blood trail starts here, leads out to the road. All the shots fired off probably what brought the walkers in, messing up their trail."

"So what the hell happened?" Glenn asked. "They know better than to fire a gun in a city. And what about..." he trailed off, eyes darting to Merle's body.

"Wait," Rick said, something catching his eye. He took a few steps and knelt down, taking something off the floor. He held it in his hand, the cold silver glinting in the dull light. A heavy cold feeling settled in Rick's stomach. Tears welled in his eyes as he tried to get his own emotions under control before he stood up, holding the bracelet for the other two to see.

"We have a problem."

* * *

**A/N: How much do you guys hate me right now? I know, I hate myself. I fucking love Merle so much but this is an apocalypse and not everyone gets out alive. :( Reviews?**

**~JLL**


	14. Shaping Up

**Disclaimer: Don't own.**

* * *

**Chapter Fourteen- Shaping Up**

"_**I'm breaking in, shaping up,  
**__**then checking out on the prison bus  
**__**This is it, the apocalypse"**_

* * *

A door opened down the hall and there were two sets of feet approaching the cells. One of the men banged on the bars. "The Governor wants you to see the doctor. Put these on." He pushed a long gown through to each one of them. They stripped and did as they were told, then they were taken to an exam room, Natasha was seated in a hard wooden chair while Maggie was guided onto the cold metal table.

The door opened and the doctor came in. Natasha couldn't believe it.

"Good morning, ladies," he said. "I'm Doctor Bruce Banner. This is a simple exam, nothing to worry about. We just need to be sure you aren't infected or have any illnesses we need to worry about." He hardly looked at Natasha, afraid his face would give him away. He took their blood pressure, temperature, checked them over for bites and drew blood samples for tests. He checked Maggie's stomach, confirming that she was pregnant.

"Is the little boy that came in with us okay?" Maggie asked, sliding off the table.

"He's still unconscious. Dr. Stevens, Alice and I worked on him for hours. He almost didn't make it but he's stable for the time being. I'll send someone with and update when I can."

Natasha was on the table next. Bruce put stitches in several of her cuts but there was nothing he could do for the bruises. He wrapped her shoulder where she'd been shot and eventually managed to slip a note in her hand before deeming them free to go. She waited until she was back in her cell before reading the note:

_We have a plan, sit tight._

Natasha sat down, leaning her head against the wall. _We?_

* * *

When Rick, Daryl and Glenn arrived at the prison, a hundred questions and protests were hurled at them instantly.

"Merle is dead!" Rick yelled. Everyone fell silent in shock. "We went to the town and found his body along with Natasha's bracelet." He quickly explained what her bracelet being there meant.

"We should leave," Sasha said. "The gated community is our best bet."

"We can't go," Michonne protested.

"What if they come here and we're gone?" Lori added.

"Natasha will know where to go," Tyreese chimed in. "If one of them slips up and tells them about this place, whoever took them could come here and kill all of us. Or worse to you and the other women, do you really want to take that chance?"

"The gated community isn't ready, we needed to reinforce the walls first." Rick said, dismissing that thought. He shook his head. "This prison is ours. We worked hard for it, I'm not gonna just give it up the first time we're threatened."

"We've been planning this move for days now," Tyreese said. "Why not?"

"Like Rick said," Andrea cut in. "This place is ours. If somebody wants it they're gonna have to take it."

"They'll have the fight of their lives on their hands," Michonne added.

Daryl looked at Carol and Sophia. "Ain't no reason everybody should be here."

"I agree," Glenn said. "What if Lori takes the kids to the community and the rest of us stay here?"

"It's best if we stay together," Sophia argued. "I can help fight too."

"No," Daryl said.

"This place is mine too!" she shouted. "I helped clear it out remember?"

Rick inhaled deeply. "Alright, let's everybody just calm down. Sit tight here. Daryl, Andrea, Michonne, Abraham, Tyreese, come with me."

He turned and led them to the Warden's office.

"What should we do?" Andrea asked once he'd closed the door.

"We're going to fight for this place," Rick said. "We fought to take it and I'm not giving it up yet. The community would be great to live in but it's more vulnerable. That fence isn't ready."

"So who's going to fight?" Michonne asked.

"Well, us, obviously," Daryl said.

"So the six of us. Shane," Andrea added. "Sasha, Carol, Glenn, T-Dog, Alice, Lilly, and Steve. That it?"

"Sophia," Michonne said.

"Not Sophia, she's just a girl," Daryl said quickly.

"She's not," Michonne snapped.

"There's still the problem with Judith," Andrea cut in, hoping to avoid an argument. "And Ben. They can't fight. Anybody who stays here will be in danger. I'll die to protect the group's safety."

"Okay," Rick said, his respect for Andrea growing by the second. "So Lori takes Ben and Judith. We load them up with supplies and send them to the community. What then? They stay there until one of us comes to get them?"

"That could work," Michonne agreed.

"And what if no one does?" Abraham spoke up for the first time.

"They do their best to survive where they are," Andrea said. "There's plenty of supplies in the houses over there that we didn't bring here."

"Alright then." Rick stood up. "Let's do that tomorrow. Right now, I think we have other matters to attend to."

He nodded and everyone followed him out.

* * *

At sundown, the group was gathered in the corner of the yard that had become the cemetery, around a hold that was Merle's grave. No one seemed to know what to say.

Sophia stepped forward and dropped a flower in the hole. "Merle Dixon was a rude, racist, sexist ass and didn't care who liked it or not," she said. The group smiled or snickered softly. "But he was smart, brave, funny and secretly, he actually wasn't so racist or sexist. He just liked to get a rise out of people. Merle cared about us all, in his own way. He taught me how to shoot and hunt and fish and track. He told me about how to train hunting dogs and making a fishing pole, a bow and arrow from cane poles and about the history of country music. I know all the words to White Lightning now." She blinked away her tears. "He also taught me how to cuss but mama ain't supposed to know that part." More smiles. Carol laughed and wiped her eyes.

"I think Merle died protecting Natasha, Maggie and Carl. He wouldn't have let anyone just take them. He loved them too," Sophia continued, looking at the ground to hide her tears. "I'm going to miss you, ya big ass." That seemed to break the little girl. She spun around and hugged her mother tightly.

Daryl seemed to have had all he could take. He turned and walked away. Everyone laid their flowers on top of the dirt and left. Carol and Sophia went after Daryl. Sophia hugged him before running inside.

Carol sat down next to her husband.

"We gotta find them," he said.

"We will," Carol said softly.

"You don't know that."

"I trust Natasha. I'd hate for Glenn to lose Maggie. I don't even want to think about what Rick would do if he lost Carol or Natasha."

"Tasha?" Daryl asked.

Carol smirked. "You mean, you don't see the looks they give each other? Or whenever something comes up their first words are 'I'll talk to Rick' or 'I'll ask Natasha'. They're always checking in with each other."

"Cause Rick is our leader, she has to let him know what's going on," Daryl said.

"And what's your reasoning for Rick always checking in with her?"

"She's second in command."

Carol smiled. "You're as clueless as they are."

Daryl rolled his eyes, kissed her lips and stood up. "I'mma go find Rick. See what's up."

"Keep me updated," she called after him.

"Tell me there's a plan," Glenn was saying. Rick was seated behind the desk in the Warden's office. Glenn, Shane, Abraham, Tyreese and Michonne were gathered in front of him.

"It's been two days, where do we even look?" Tyreese asked.

Glenn looked at Daryl. "Can't we try to follow the trail? Tire prints or something?"

Daryl knew it was a waste of time, there was nothing to follow. But Maggie was all Glenn had and no matter how pointless it was he couldn't bring himself to say no to Glenn's pleading face. He nodded. "Can't hurt to try."

"Is it really a good idea to go out there with the fucking Governor shithead out there?" Abraham protested.

"We've got to try," Glenn said.

Rick stood up. "You can go at first light. Whoever wants to go, can. No more than four."

"I'm going," Michonne said instantly.

"Me too," Abraham said.

"That's four," Rick said. "Get ready, head out in the morning when you feel like it." They scattered off and Rick went inside. He sat down on his bed, hands over his face. When did everything go to hell on him?

He reached in his pocket and pulled out Natasha's bracelet. Rick ran his fingers over the thing metal. "I will bring you home safe," he said. He put the bracelet on the table next to his bed and lay down.

* * *

The Governor unlocked Natasha's cell, motioning for her to follow, though she knew the drill by now. This had been going on for three days. She stepped forward, sending a reassuring glance to Maggie. Though with all the cuts and bruises on her face, it didn't do much to reassure the other woman.

He led her to a room and sat her in a chair, taking the seat opposite her.

"How are you today, Natasha?" he asked politely, as he had the past three days.

She stared at the wall.

He sat forward. "We're doing this again? Today won't be like the others. You're going to tell me today where your group is."

"Wrong again. I refuse," she said without taking her eyes away from her spot on the wall.

The governor pointed a gun at her head. "I'm done playing games with you. Now tell me where they are or I'm sending my boys in again."

"Send them in," she challenged. "They'll leave here bloody like before."

"Tell me where they are."

"Somewhere safe."

"Tell me."

"No."

He leaned forward, slapping her across the face, put the gun against her head. She laughed at him and he punched her, hard.

"Tell me where."

Natasha answered him in Russian, giving him a recipe for sugar cookies.

"Tell me!" he commanded.

"I just did. How was I to know you didn't speak Russian?"

He lurched forward, hands going around her throat. She punched him with enough force to send him back a few steps. Stars danced before her eyes and she struggled to get her breath. Before she realized it, she was on her back, he had turned her chair over. She rolled to one side and looked up when she heard a click.

The governor had the gun again. He kept it aimed at her as he went to the door and said something to the men outside. "Tell me where your group is."

Natasha smirked at him. "No, you can continue this game but you won't get anything from me. I've been tortured by men who make you look like Elmer Fudd. You don't scare me at all."

Two men came in then, pulling Maggie between them. The Governor didn't look at them, but pulled out his knife and said to Natasha, "Let's see how you feel after I start cutting off fingers and toes."

"I'd start with the pinky," she suggested. "Maybe my shoes will fit better."

His rage boiled over. How he wanted to kill this girl, but he held back. He turned and put his gun to Maggie's head, Natasha's heart leapt into her throat. She tried not to give away how panicked she felt.

"Tell me where your group is," he said slowly.

"No," she said.

"Tell me, or I'll kill her."

"Kill me," Maggie spoke up, her voice surprisingly strong. "I'll die to protect my family."

The governor snapped. He yanked Maggie by the arm, slammed her hand down on the table then reached on his belt for a hatchet. "Last chance, ladies."

The men guarding the door looked nervous, watching the scene in disbelief. Maggie met Natasha's eyes, showing her friend how panicked she felt. Natasha gave her a nod.

"You tell me now!"

The girls said nothing, though Maggie was screaming inside. The Governor snarled and brought the hatchet down.

* * *

"The boy is awake," one of the men reported as the Governor stepped into the hall. "He seems to have amnesia."

"Has anyone talked to him?"

The man shook his head. The Governor walked down the hall, wiping his face and hands with a rag as he walked over to the doctor's office. "Hey there," he said brightly, coming into the room.

Carl's eyebrows rose in confusion. "Who are you?"

The Governor jerked back, feigning surprise. "My name is Phillip, don't you remember?" Carl shook his head. "Okay, tell me what you do remember and I'll help you fill in the gaps."

Carl thought hard. "I was with my mom and dad. No, it wasn't my dad, he's dead. It was Shane. He was teaching me about frogs, catching frogs."

"Do you remember where you were?"

"At a farm, I think. How did I get here?"

"We found you in the street. Someone thought you were a walker and shot you, we saved you and brought you here."

Carl gasped and suddenly looked up. "That's right, I was with Maggie! And…someone else. I can't remember. Are they okay?"

The Governor frowned. "I'm sorry, they were both killed."

Carl started to cry. "I want my mommy."

"Okay, just tell me where they are and we'll take you there, as soon as the doctor there says it's okay." He nodded to the man in the corner.

"I…I don't remember. It's all a blur."

"That's okay, there's no rush. You rest, you're safe here," he said softly. "Just let me know if you remember something."

Carl sat quietly. "It's just…I think we moved around a lot. There were a lot of places. A lot of houses, a storage unit, a prison, summer camp, a barn and a cave too, I think."

"Okay, that's good you remember. You rest now. If you need anything, you call for me." He stood up and went back to his office, looking at a map. "There's no way of checking the houses he mentioned," he told the three men in front of him. "There's the summer camp, prison and storage units. I want a team to go to each location."

Bruce Banner had stood silently in the corner, listening to the Governor trick the boy into giving up information. When he had gone, Brice slipped out as well to find Steve Rodgers and fill him in.

"He'll probably send someone to each location, if he can," Steve mused. "If he finds them, it'll be bad. We have to get them out of here. Is Carl good to go?"

"Yeah, aside from the giant hole in his face and memory loss, he's fine."

Steve stared at him. "You know what I mean. Can we move him yet?"

Bruce sighed. "Sure. It shouldn't cause him too much trauma to move him. But we have to get him to trust us and stay quiet so we don't get caught. How do we do that?"

Steve rubbed his hands together. "Alright, look. Alice and Lilly are going to help us too. I'll have Lilly get a car and park it by the south gate. You and Alice get Carl and whatever supplies you can get. I'll get the girls and we'll get out of here. Be careful."

Bruce nodded, knowing he really mean, 'stay calm'. "Let's go."

* * *

"We can't just give up!" Glenn yelled. "She's out there, somewhere, I can feel it."

"Well, why don't you go out there and feel your way to her," Daryl snapped. "Cause there's nothing else we can do."

"Stop," Rick said, holding his hands up. "Glenn, we're going to keep looking but there's nothing Daryl and Michonne can do. Remember we have a whole group to think about as well."

"Rick's right," Shane chimed in, to everyone's surprise. Every pair of eyes turned to him. "We can't keep spreading out man power out like this. What if somebody took those girls and tortured them into telling about the prison? If they attack us here we'll need all the help we can get."

"I agree with Shane," Andrea spoke up, shocking everyone for the second time. "We need to be ready for anything."


	15. Defies Imagination

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

* * *

**Chapter Fifteen- Defies Imagination**

"_**Ooh, 1, 2, 3, 4 fire's in your eyes  
And this chaos, it defies imagination  
Ooh, 5, 6, 7, 8 minus 9 lives  
You've arrived at panic station"**_

* * *

Natasha was beating herself up. She had one job: protect the others. Merle was dead, Carl had been shot and Maggie was missing a hand. Some job she'd done.

Maggie was sitting on her bunk, staring at her arm.

"Maggie, I'm-"

"Natasha, don't," she interrupted.

"You did the right thing. Sophia, Ben and Judith get to live."

"For how much longer?" Maggie snapped. "Carl could wake up and tell them all about the prison and I'll have lost my hand for nothing."

Natasha fell silent, knowing she was right but wanting to reassure her of the opposite. The redhead hardly glanced up from the floor, ashamed of herself.

The door opened again, both women jumped to attention and Natasha smiled, recognizing her friend.

"Long time, no see," Steve Rodgers said, with a big grin.

"Skip the pleasantries and get us out of here. Please tell me you have our weapons."

He held up a bag with a smile. "We've got everything ready to go, just waiting for you two." He pulled the cell doors open and eyed Maggie's hand. "I am sorry we didn't come sooner. We had to wait for Carl to wake up because Bruce didn't know how much damage had been done to his brain." He held out a hand. "Stay with me, I'll protect you."

She smiled, teary eyed and took his hand. Holding her other arm close to her body.

"What about the governor?" Natasha asked, avoiding meeting Maggie's gaze.

Steve quickly explained Carl's condition and what he had said.

"Our group is at the prison," Maggie panicked.

"They're planning on sending scouting teams in the morning," Steve said.

"They won't live that long," Natasha said.

Steve looked at her. "Look I'll take Maggie to the car at the gate. We'll wait as long as it's safe. Take out as many as you can and get out." He turned to leave.

"Steve," she said, turning him back. "We've been planning to move to a gated community. If they aren't at the prison that's where they'll be." She quickly explained the location. "When you get there, they may not trust you or think it's a trick. So ask for Rick. And tell him this, 'The widow says the web is shaky, no venom, meal for one.'" Steve repeated it back to confirm and they parted ways.

Steve snuck Maggie around the buildings. He had to duck into the house he and Bruce shared.

"He'll go away in a few minutes," he said, referring to the guard at the end of the block. "He walks up and down this street, then down a side one. We'll just have to wait him out." He walked around, making sure he had all of his things together.

The door opened and Bruce came in with Carl and another woman. Carl squealed and ran to Maggie. She quietly told him about her hand when he asked. He looked shocked and sick.

"Where's Natasha?" Bruce asked, looking around.

"Taking care of business. She's been out there about twenty minutes," Steve said.

"Half of their army is probably dead by now," Steve mused. "How long are we waiting?"

"As long as it's safe. The guard was at the end of the street when we got here. He's probably gone by now. Natasha's going to meet us there, we should probably go," Steve said.

"Alright then," Bruce said. "Let's go."

"Wait," Maggie said. "Who is that?"

"This is Alice, she's s nurse. She helped me since we got here, she's alright. Alice, this is Maggie."

They exchanged welcoming nods then Steve led them out the door and down the street. The gate was in sight when someone called out. The five of them froze and turned around, a man was standing a block away.

"What are you doing out here? Get back inside, it's past curfew," he said angrily. That was the last thing he said. He dropped to the ground a second later, Natasha appeared behind him, wiping blood off her knife. Another male voice near the car called, "Who's out here?"

Steve pulled Maggie behind him as the man came into sight.

"What's going on? What's this doing here?"

"We're leaving on a scouting trip," Steve said. "Governor wants us to head out."

"At night?" the man asked incredulously.

There was a click behind him and he spun to see a gun in his face. "We're leaving," the woman said. "Get out of the way or I'll make you."

He sneered at her. Bruce stepped forward to play peace maker. The guard turned and fired his gun at him without letting him speak.

"Oh no," Steve said, pulling Maggie away. Alice shot the guard and ran toward the car, screaming for the others to get in.

Bruce went on his hands and knees, body convulsing and shifting.

Natasha grabbed Carl's arm.

"What's happening?" Maggie asked, staring at Bruce with wide, frightened eyes.

"Go!" Bruce yelled. "Go now!" He was turning green.

"Nat!" Steve called. Bruce was in between Natasha and the car.

"Take Maggie and go, I got Carl. We'll meet up later," she called back, pulling Carl with her. They ran in opposite directions. A mighty roar from the hulk shook the ground beneath their feet. Natasha ran until she reached the barrier, lifting Carl up and over. They leapt to the ground at the same time, listening to the destruction of Woodbury and the screams of the people behind them.

* * *

Tyreese was in the tower when a small brown car came into view. He yelled to T-Dog, who was nearby. T-Dog rang the bell, alerting everyone to the visitors. Within seconds, Rick, Daryl, Shane, Glenn and Abraham were gathered at the gates.

"Can you tell who it is?" Rick called.

"No," Tyreese answered. He squinted into the binoculars. "Wait." He looked down at Glenn. "It's your girl, Glenn."

Glenn almost opened the gates right then but Rick stopped him. "Just her?" he asked Tyreese, feeling his heart sinking.

"There's a man driving. Two other women in the back but they ain't Tasha," he said.

The car stopped at the gate, the men inside raised their guns. Maggie leapt out, already starting to cry. The man driving put his hands up.

"I'm a friend of Natasha's, we're the good guys," he said. "She told me to ask for Rick."

"I'm Rick." He stepped forward.

"'The widow says the web is shaky, no venom, meal for one.'"

"The hell does that mean?" Daryl asked.

"Open the gate," Rick said, holstering his gun without hesitation. It was open a minute later and the newcomers came inside.

"Maggie." Glenn sighed. "Oh my God, what happened?" He pulled her close and she sobbed into his shoulder.

"Where's Carl and Natasha?" Rick asked Steve.

Maggie answered him. "They ran off when…"

"When what?" Lori demanded, appearing next to Shane. Michonne, Andrea and Carol had joined the group too. Lori looked all around. "Where's Carl? Why isn't he with you?"

Tearfully, Maggie told them the story, hiding her arm behind Glenn. No one had noticed it but him.

"The Hulk!?" Lori exclaimed.

"That's Captain America," Sophia said, giggling, pointing at Steve.

"Whoa," Ben breathed. "Really?"

Steve smiled shyly. "Yeah, our boss sent me down here after communications with Clint and Natasha went down. Instead I found the Governor and he told me he had a whole town full of people, maybe I'd find my friends there. So I went with him, I did find Bruce there and these girls. Speaking of Clint, where is?"

Rick looked at him sadly. "Natasha didn't tell you?"

"Tell me what?"

"Clint was bitten when the outbreak started. He sacrificed himself to save her and Merle. He never made it out of Atlanta."

Steve looked at his feet. "That sounds like something he would do."

"Hold on," Shane interrupted. "Rick, how the hell you know all that? And why were they in Atlanta in the first place?"

Steve explained. "We'd been hearing reports for a few days. Unexplainable fevers, bites, dead walking. S.H.I.E.L.D. monitors potential threats, anything strange is investigated and monitored, if necessary. Our boss sent Bruce to the CDC to assist them with their research. Natasha and Clint were sent with him as protective detail and…you know, hulk-sitting. When the outbreak went widespread they were stuck in Atlanta. The last we spoke to them they were assisting Atlanta P.D. at the hospital. Once it was overrun, they left trying to get to the CDC. Then we lost them."

"Where's Bruce then?" Carol asked.

"By now, who knows. He'll be alright, though. It's Natasha and Carl I'm worried about."

"Carl will be okay with her as long as he doesn't..." Maggie said. Then her eyes went wide as she looked at Lori and she realized they'd forgotten something.

"What?" Lori asked.

Steve looked at his feet again. "There's something you should know, ma'am. Carl got shot in town when the Governor took them." Lori gasped. "There was a lot of damage, he was in a coma for days. When he finally woke up he had amnesia. He told the Governor the last thing he remembered was catching frogs with his father, then remembered his father was dead and it was Shane he was catching frogs with. He told them a lot of places he remembered being, including the prison. The governor was planning on sending a scouting team out."

"But Carl, he's out there right now with a gunshot wound in his face?" Lori cried hysterically. Shane hushed her, rubbing her arms comfortingly.

"So they know about the prison?" Rick asked.

Steve nodded in confirmation. "It wasn't Carl's fault, he couldn't remember anything. Didn't know where he was or anyone in the room with him. The Governor tricked him."

Andrea, Rick and Daryl shared an alarmed look.

Maggie moved away from Glenn without thinking and Lori gasped again. "Oh my God, Maggie! What happened to your hand?!"

She started to cry again. "The Governor tried to torture me and Tasha for information. He threatened to kill us. Actually, he didn't do anything to me at first. For three days he took her and beat her then sent her back so I could see damage he did. He kept telling me I'd have my chance soon, I think he used her as an example to scare me into talking. I just followed her lead." Maggie wiped her eyes. "We told him we were prepared to die for our group." She looked at Lori and Carol. "We knew we had to protect Sophia and Judith." She looked at Andrea. "And Ben. He threatened to cut off Natasha's fingers. She told him to start with her pinky toe so her shoes would fit better." Maggie laughed.

"I had to draw strength from her, she never wavered no matter what he did. He cut off my thumb first." She looked down. "He yelled at me to tell him where you were and I spit in his face. He took my whole hand off then." She sniffed.

"Maggie," Carol said. "I don't even know what to say."

"Don't say anything," she replied. "I don't regret it for a minute. Judith, Ben and Sophia deserve to grow up. If I had to lose my hand so they could have a chance, well, it's a small price to pay." Tears ran down her face but she meant every word.

Lori sobbed, suddenly launching herself at the woman. She released her, Andrea and Carol took a turn. All four women were crying.

Glenn looked up at Maggie, running his fingers over her bandage. "I'm going to kill the monster who did this to you."

She smiled sadly. "Natasha probably already beat you to it."

"So this Governor, is he dead?" Rick asked, his stomach twisted in knots.

"Most likely. The Governor, his army and probably half that town," Steve said.

"Natasha did all that?" Shane asked.

Steve almost laughed. "Can't really say, since we got the hell out of there. She left us when I went to get Maggie and was gone for a while. I would say that most likely the Governor is dead, probably some of his army, as well. The Hulk got whoever she missed."

"Should we look for them?" Carol asked.

"No," Rick said.

"Why not?"

Steve spoke first. "We don't know which way she went. Bruce may not be back to normal yet. All the noise he made probably drew a horde of those things. Give them at least a day or two to get here. Natasha's been through worse, they'll be fine."

"And she told me not to look anyway," Rick said.

"What? When?" Andrea asked, eyebrows furrowing.

"That's what that message was?" Steve asked.

"What message?" Lori chimed in.

Rick repeated the message and explained. "'The widow says the web is shaky', that means there was trouble. 'Meal for one' means she's got it under control and not to look for her. 'No venom' just means Steve and the others weren't a threat to us."

With nothing else to talk about, the group dispersed. Rick stopped Maggie before she got too far away. "I just want to thank you," he said. "I can't believe how strong you were. I don't know if even I could have done what you did, what you sacrificed for this group. I just….thank you for giving us a chance."

Maggie hugged him, crying. "I would do it all again if I have to." She pulled back, her eyes went wide. "Oh my God, I just remembered!"

"What?" Glenn asked, alarmed.

"I'm pregnant."

* * *

"You okay?" Michonne asked, climbing into the tower. Rick was on watch, pacing and glancing off in all directions.

"I will be," he answered vaguely.

"When Natasha gets back here safe with Carl, right?"

He nodded. "Yeah."

"She'll be fine. He will be too. Just give her some time."

"She should be here by now. Maggie and the others made it here this morning, Natasha should be here." He stared off into the darkness as if she were going to appear at any second.

"Maggie and the others left Woodbury in a car," Michonne reminded him. "Natasha and Carl are on foot. If they don't find a car, it'll take some time to get here."

Rick nodded but didn't say anything.

"What's up with you two?" Michonne finally asked, just to get him talking and not worrying.

He grinned a little. "What do you mean?" Michonne's only response was to quirk an eyebrow. Rick laughed out loud. "She's my second in command."

"Is that a fancy way of saying sidekick?"

"Don't tell her that, she'll kick my ass."

Michonne smirked. "Alright then, we won't talk about it. How are you dealing with the whole Shane and Lori situation?"

He rubbed his face. "I think Lori and I were over long before we were officially over. I tried to make it work and she pushed me away. Some part of me will always love her but it's just not the same anymore. Seeing her raising a baby I thought was mine with another man who used to be my best friend…my feelings have changed a lot," he said flatly. Michonne only stared at him so he went on.

"It was hard at first," he admitted. "All this time here I just wanted to find her and Carl. I knew she was pregnant, I thought it was my baby and I just wanted her here safe. Seeing her and Shane together at first was like a knife to my heart every time. Seeing him with what was my wife, what was supposed to be my child it wasn't easy I admit. It's gotten easier though."

"Natasha have anything to do with that?" Michonne fished. "She cares about you. In her own way."

"I know." Rick nodded soberly. "She told me about her past, her first love. She doesn't think she can be loved or give love again." He shook his head.

"Is she wrong?"

Rick was silent. "We won't know unless we try," he said finally. "She has trouble accepting any kind of love."

"I've noticed."

"It's like we're always dancing around each other," Rick said, unable to stop now that Michonne had opened that can of worms. "I don't really know what I'm feeling for her, so I don't know what to tell her. She seems to flirt and then push me away when I get too close. Even though she told me about her childhood once she doesn't want to bring it up again."

"It's bad memories for her, can you blame her for not wanting to talk about it though?"

"But she should talk about it, right? After everything she went through, isn't the only way to get over it to talk about it?"

"Not exactly. She told me a little about James, so I'd think whatever she went through in the Red Room, he was there and they went through it together. She talked about with him. Now it's in the past, she's over it and doesn't want to talk about it all the time, you can't push her," Michonne said. "You should be grateful she told you at all. The only reason she told you was so that you would know where she's been and what she's gone through not so you can bring it up every chance you get."

"Maybe you're right," Rick agreed. "What should I do? If she ever makes it home, that is."

"She'll come back home soon," Michonne said firmly. "Just talk to her, don't push her. And you'll get your chance."

Rick smiled but didn't say anything.


	16. Desolation and Despair

**Disclaimer: Do not own.**

* * *

**Chapter Sixteen- Desolation and Despair**

"_**Fear  
And panic in the air  
I want to be free  
From desolation and despair  
And I feel  
Like everything I saw  
Is being swept away  
When I refuse to let you go"**_

* * *

Natasha tugged Carl's hand, forcing him to move faster. Walkers were poring after them in droves, no doubt attracted to the awful noise the hulk was making in Woodbury.

They'd been running for what seemed like hours. Carl was getting lightheaded and already tired before they had even left the town. Now he was exhausted and felt his eyelids getting heavy. He slipped, his hand wrenched away from Natasha.

She stopped and turned. "Get on my back," she commanded. "Don't let go."

He locked his arms around her neck, closing his eyes to block out the sounds of walkers behind them. Natasha suddenly stopped to lift him up. "Go," she hissed.

Carl realized she wanted him to climb up a tree. He hurried up, watching her shimmy up after him. Carl looked back and realized they had climbed a hill, well, Natasha had scaled the hill with him on her back. It had slowed the walkers down enough for them to get up in the tree. They were high enough that they wouldn't be seen by anyone living or undead. Natasha was sitting on the branch with her back against the tree. Carl was seated between her legs.

"Sit back," she said, pulling him back to lean against her. "Go to sleep, I'll make sure you don't fall."

Carl didn't need to be told twice. He leaned into her, feeling her arms lock around his body. Their erratic breathing began to slow. Carl forced himself to be calm and soon enough his eyelids began flutter and he fell asleep moments later. Natasha had a bag slung across her chest that contained some water and a laughably small supply of food. She had her two pistols, Clint's hunting knife and Maggie's machete that she hadn't had the chance to return. Carl had a handgun and a pocket knife. If they didn't make it somewhere soon, they would be pretty fucked.

Since she had been in the back of a van with no windows, she had no idea where Woodbury was and had been too busy tending to Carl to pay attention to the turns they were making.

Natasha looked down at the sleeping boy, looking at the white bandage covering his face. He could have died if Bruce hadn't been there. How could she have faced Rick again if Carl had died? She wouldn't have, she would have let the Governor kill her.

She smiled to herself thinking that the Governor got what he deserved. Natasha had slipped into his bedroom, waking him up with a slap to the face. He had struggled, of course. But he was a common man and she was the lethal Black Widow. The only reason she had let him smack her around before was because of Maggie and Carl. Natasha had tied him to the bed and crudely chopped off his hand, as he had done to Maggie.

"I'm going to give it to her as a gift. She can hang it up like a trophy," she spat. "I'm gonna cut off your balls and keep them as _my_ trophy." She cauterized the wound with a blow torch, dug out an eye with a spoon and found a creative use for a pair of pliers. Someone banged on the door soon after that so Natasha left him, bleeding and whimpering. She crept through the compound silent as a whisper. Normally, she'd have taken the time to kill some of the other men but she wanted to get back to Maggie before the group left without her. She shouldn't have left them in the first place.

Natasha was angry at herself for what the Governor did to Maggie, what he did to Carl. Most of all she was angry at herself for what happened to Clint and then to Merle. She'd let it all happen. Stood by and watched the Governor hack off Maggie's hand. Didn't stick with Clint as she should have and let him get bitten. Walked right past Merle, knowing they were about to shoot him.

How could she go back to the group now? Face Glenn and Maggie? Or Rick and Lori? Daryl?

Natasha closed her eyes, suddenly angry; this time at Clint. He was to blame for her having emotions at all. She'd been a mindless killing machine before he found her and made her feel again. Now here she was sitting in a tree, holding on to a little boy and trying to plan how to get him back to his family without her because she was too afraid to face them.

Natasha would only admit it to herself, but she cared about them all. She wouldn't be able to see the blame and accusation in their eyes. Maggie lost her hand, Daryl lost his brother, Rick and Lori almost lost their son and it was her fault. Hearing it out loud from them would break her heart. Not for the first time, she wished Clint were there to help her. She never wished for help during a fight. Michonne and Rick watched her back as well as Clint had. It was always during down time that she wished for him.

Natasha also knew she was developing feelings for Rick. She didn't know what those feelings were, how to deal with them or even who to talk to about it. Her heart clenched and her eyes filled with tears. Running blind. That's what she felt she was doing.

Her hold on Carl tightened as the moans of the walkers grew louder. She just had to wait for them to pass and she could get Carl back to safety. Everything else came after.

"Damn you, Clint," she whispered, wiping her eyes.

* * *

Steve pointed at the map Rick had spread out. "That's Woodbury. Maggie and I ended up in this town. Natasha could get there too."

"You think she'd be there?" Daryl asked.

"It's possible," Steve answered. "They don't have much in the way of supplies. Carl's injured and they don't have a car. She would hide them out somewhere until he was up for traveling."

"Alright," Rick said, standing up. He left the room and came back with pages from a book. Using his knife he trimmed the edges until he head three photos lying on the desk.

"There are three towns between here and Woodbury she could end up in. So, Daryl and T-Dog will go here. Shane and Glenn here. Tyreese and Andrea here. Put these up in a gas station near the maps, it's the first place she'll look," Rick explained.

"How do you know?" Glenn asked.

"Just trust me." Rick wrote out three notes and stuck them on the pictures.

Daryl looked down. "What the hell's up with the pictures?"

"Black widow not obvious?" Rick smirked.

"I got that, I meant the other two."

"The hawk is for Hawkeye? Clint?" Steve asked.

"Yes," Rick confirmed.

"What about the bear?"

Rick fought a smile. "She once told me I was like a bear."

"How?" T-Dog asked, eyebrows furrowing.

"I don't know, she never explained it," Rick said. He passed out the notes and gave the last of the instructions.

"We'll get her back," Daryl promised. "And when we do, I'm gonna watch her kick your ass for worrying about her so much."

Rick smiled and put a hand on his shoulder. "That's one ass kicking I'm looking forward to. Get out of here already."

* * *

Carl woke with a pounding head and a pain in his backside. He was leaning against someone, so he sat up and turned around. His heart started to pound, he didn't have a clue who that woman was. She was asleep so Carl moved away as silently as possible, sliding around her to a nearby branch. He climbed down, speeding up when he got closer to the ground. His feet touched earth and he started to run. But he didn't make it far before his pounding head forced him to stop.

"Carl?" he heard a voice call behind him. He thought he recognized it but he still didn't know the face.

"Carl!" the woman yelled when she saw him. He took off running again, she ran behind him easily catching up to him. She grabbed him in a hug, forcing him on the ground. The boy started to cry.

"Please don't hurt me," he sobbed.

"Carl, I'm not going to hurt you. It's me, Natasha, remember?"

Carl stopped fighting, suddenly remembering who he was, who she was and where they were. He kept crying.

"What's happening to me? Why can't I remember anything?" He wiped his leaking eyes, his fingers brushed the bandage on his face and he cried harder.

"You were shot, remember? One of the Governor's men shot you, blasted you with a shotgun. Your face took a good bit of trauma, you have amnesia but you're okay. I promise, you're okay," she said soothingly, rocking back and forth to calm him. She was so focused on him, she hadn't heard a sound around them. Then she was roughly yanked away from Carl by two pairs of hands, another man appeared, grabbing Carl.

Natasha counted five men. Two holding her, one holding Carl, the other two hovering nearby. They were all big, with substantial muscle. The two holding her were certainly strong. The grip they had on her arms was sure to leave bruises.

"What do we have here?" one of the men laughed, rubbing a hand over Carl's cheek.

"I think we hit the jackpot," another said, eyeing Natasha.

"Let us go," Carl said, trying to mask the tears in his voice.

The men laughed at him. Natasha felt a bubble of rage in her stomach so powerful it could rival the hulk.

"I don't think so, little guy," one of the men laughed. "Here's what's going to happen. We're gonna fuck you and make your mama watch. Then we're gonna fuck her and make you watch." He chuckled, rubbing his hand through the boy's hair. "Tommy," he said. The man next to him grabbed Carl by the arms, forcing him to the ground. One held down each arm. Carl screamed and flailed, to no avail. They pinned him easily.

Natasha screamed, struggling against the men holding her, they laughed. The biggest man hovered over Carl, beginning to pull Carl's pants down. His underwear came down with it and he was exposed.

Then Natasha went ballistic, the bubble of rage exploded in her chest. With one swift motion, she ripped her arm from the men's grasp, ran forward and kicked the man in the face sending him sprawling. She yanked Clint's knife from her boot and stabbed him in the throat. The other four men were still for a moment, not comprehending what had happened. Natasha whipped out her pistols and shot each of them in the forehead, they were dead in seconds.

She sprinted to Carl, helping him right himself. He launched himself at her, arms wrapping around her as he sobbed into her neck.

Natasha rocked him. "It's okay, you're okay now."

* * *

Half an hour later, Natasha and Carl were walking through the woods. The boy had been silent, slowly coming to terms with what had nearly happened to him. He was starting to seem like himself again.

"Do you like my dad?" he asked suddenly.

"Of course I do. Your dad is smart and a great leader."

"That's not what I meant," Carl huffed.

"I know what you meant."

The boy rolled his eyes. "He likes you. A lot. Maybe even loves you."

Natasha didn't answer. What could she say?

Carl took this as a sign to go on. "He talks about you all the time and he always has this big smile on her face when he does. He looks at you how he used to look at my mom. I think he needs you more than you think." Carl was annoyed when she didn't say anything. He changed tactic. "Were you really an Avenger?"

Natasha smiled. "I was."

"Were you ever in love?"

"I was." She clenched her jaw. Carl waited. "His name was James. The last real relationship I had was my partnership with Clint Barton."

"Hawkeye?"

"Yes, Hawkeye. He was my best friend, the only person I ever had one hundred percent trust in. When he died, I can't even begin to tell you how I felt."

"Try," Carl pressed.

"I felt alone," she said after a long time. "I was alone growing up after my parents died. I was alone after James died. Then Clint came along. He was never my boyfriend, our relationship was purely platonic. But he reminded me what it felt like to love. He was my rock, he kept me human. And he died it was like all of that disappeared. I was falling and didn't know which way was up."

"Were you a bad person before you met Clint?" Carl asked softly.

"Very."

"How come you didn't go back to that when he died?"

"Carl, I won't go into my past with you but let me tell you something. The old me wouldn't have saved Merle. The day we met Michonne, Andrea and your dad I would have killed all three of them before they even saw my face. I certainly wouldn't have been tramping through the woods with a kid who never learned to pick up his feet when he walked. But Clint changed me.

"I saved Merle because it was Clint's dying wish. At first, that's what it was. I wanted to complete the last task he entrusted me with." Natasha recalled she'd had almost this exact same conversation with Rick before.

"After that?" Carl asked.

And this is where the conversation differed from the one she'd had with Rick because she hadn't been able to say this to Rick. "I met your father."

"Dad helped you? How?"

Natasha bit her lip. "Even in this world he kept the things about him that make him good. He's made hard decisions and done things that haunt him, yet he fights to stay good, so full of light."

Carl smiled. "Guess that's why you fit together. Dad's light and you're dark."

Natasha smiled back. "Yeah, that's it."

"Did you kill the Governor?" he asked.

"I did." Surely he was dead by now.

"Did you enjoy it?"

She hesitated. "I did."

"Do you always enjoy killing?"

"No, I don't. The Governor shot you, cut off Maggie's hand and had Merle killed. He deserved what I did to him. It's never fun to take someone's life and it haunts you."

"What would you do if something happened to my dad?"

"I would find the person and torture them until they died," she said without thinking.

"I killed Hershel," Carl blurted suddenly.

Natasha stopped. "You don't have to tell me."

"I do, I want to," he said, shaking his head. "I need to tell someone who won't judge me. The whole group looks at me weird because of it." He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. He sat down on a fallen tree nearby, Natasha sat next to him.

"It was during the winter and we were at this camp. It was falling apart and we had no food. We were all cold, everyone was mad at Shane because he gave my mom special treatment. He gave her the most food, blankets. Mom tried to share and he'd scream that he was doing his best and she was being ungrateful.

"So one night these walkers get in and Hershel got bitten while we were trying to leave. Beth and Maggie were trying to get him to leave with us but he kept telling them no, since he was bitten he knew he was going to die and didn't want to put them in danger. The walkers were getting closer and closer to us and everyone was panicking. Mom was in the car screaming for me. Beth and Maggie kept pulling on Hershel and he was screaming 'no, just leave me!' They wouldn't listen, the walkers were so close to us, Maggie almost got bitten because she was too busy trying to beg her father to come with us, Glenn killed the walker though. We were all going to die if they didn't get in the cars. So I shot Hershel in the head. Beth freaked out and called me names. I didn't know what else to do. He was gonna die anyway and if we kept standing there arguing we'd all be dead. Everyone started treating me differently after that. Then Beth killed herself and Maggie screamed at me, saying it was my fault. Glenn told me she didn't mean it but it still hurt." He sounded so young and innocent that Natasha wanted to cry with him.

"I was seven when I made my first kill and he wasn't no walker," Natasha told him. "He was a living man that wanted to kill me so I killed him first. That's a lesson you need to learn right now."

She made him look at her. "Your dad is a good man. He kills only in self defense. That makes him strong and willing to do anything it takes to keep his group safe. There are men that kill simply because they can. They kill to make a point, like the Governor. Merle was of no use to him so he killed him. Do you remember what I told you before about me? I'm speaking from personal experience, so I know."

"So you used to be like the Governor and now you're like my dad? Killing when you have to?" Carl sniffed.

"Something like that. My judgment is blurred in some cases and your dad helps me. The fact that you had to put Hershel down doesn't make you bad at all, you did what you had to do," she told him. "The circumstances weren't good, the whole situation was bad. But you didn't do anything wrong. Does your dad know?"

Carl shook his head. "Mom told him he was bitten. I wanted to tell him the truth but what if he treats me different because of it?"

"Talk to him when we get back. I'm sure he'll understand why you did what you did. And for some reason if he doesn't come get me and I'll set him straight."

"Thanks, Tasha." Carl smiled. He sniffled again. "Those guys before, they wanted to…to rape me didn't they?"

Natasha pulled him closer to her, hugging him tightly, they managed to do what thousands failed to do. They got the drop on me. I'm so sorry, Carl."

The boy wiped his eyes. "You shouldn't be sorry, you protected me."

She was silent for a moment. "I would die to protect you, kid."

Carl believed her. He wiped his eyes again and stood up. "I guess I'm ready to go now."


	17. Everything Changes

**Disclaimer: Do not own anything.**

* * *

**Chapter Seventeen- Everything Changes**

"_**Serpents in my mind, looking for your cries  
Everything changes  
I don't want life to this time"**_

* * *

"So what now?" Lori asked Rick. The group had planted the notes as Rick instructed.

"We wait," he told her. The group had gathered in the cafeteria to discuss what to do next. So far, they had nothing.

She scoffed. "Our son it out there, injured and you're going to leave them a note and hope they find it?"

"We can't do much else, Lori."

"We can look for them," she shot back.

"How?" Carol spoke up. "They could be anywhere by now. Steve and Maggie didn't even see which way they left out of Woodbury."

Everyone looked at her then at Rick.

_I don't know what to do_, he thought helplessly, turning away.

"So we're going to leave my son out there with some killer who'd let him die to save herself?" Lori scoffed.

Rick slammed his fist down on the table but it was Daryl who spoke. "You don't know what the hell you're talking about!" He shot up so fast his chair flipped over.

Lori took a step back.

"Do you know what happened in Atlanta?" Daryl demanded, his face growing red with anger. "After Merle cut his hand off and cauterized it himself, he went stumbling down a fire escape, almost passed out from blood loss. Then some guy comes up and helps him down. Alley crawling with walkers, at least a dozen, Merle told me. This guy whips out a hunting knife, you've all seen it, Natasha has it now. It was Clint's. Bodies start dropping, then he gets caught off guard and gets bit. He helps Merle in the alley and says he's gonna call his partner for backup. Last thing Merle hears was the guy calling for Natasha." The whole group was staring at him in his excited state.

"Merle comes to and has this little redhead barely keeping him up, haulin' his big ass through walker infested streets. He showed her to the bridge and she got him in our truck He passes out again, wakes up and they're parked at a doctor's office, crawling with walkers."

Daryl glared at Lori. "See, Natasha didn't even know my brother. Y'all saw Atlanta. It's a damn miracle any of us made it out alive. Natasha dragged Merle's sorry ass through walker infested streets to go to a walker infested doctor's office to get him medicine. The spent the night in a piss ass gas station surrounded by walkers. And Merle asked her later why'd she do it, why she didn't just leave him? Let the walkers get him? And you know what she told him? She promised Clint that she would keep him safe. It was his dying wish for her to get Merle out of the city. She risked her life to save Merle just because Clint asked her to.

"If you really think she'll let anything happen to Carl, you're dumb as fuck. Natasha loves that kid and she loves Rick. She'll keep that kid alive if it kills her in the process. So calm your ass down because you ain't helping." Daryl stomped off after finishing his rant.

Everyone stared after him in stunned silence.

"Real good job of keeping Merle alive," Shane commented.

Maggie shot up from her seat and glared at him. "Walk away from me. Right now. Cause you really don't know what you're talking about."

Shane almost laughed at her but put his hands up in surrender. Lori looked at him then at Rick. "I hope we find them. Both of them," she said, glancing at him then away quickly.

He nodded. "I think it would be best if you and Maggie left today, take Ben and Judith to the community."

"What for?" Shane snapped.

"There could be an attack," Rick said.

"Maggie said Natasha killed the Governor," Andrea said.

"We don't know for sure," Maggie jumped in. "Just that when Steve came to get us she went another way. When she met back up with us we didn't get the chance to ask."

"What about the Hulk though?" Andrea asked. "Didn't you say he smashed up Woodbury?"

"We don't know for sure," Maggie repeated. "Steve got us out of there pretty quick once Bruce started changing colors." Her tone had a bit of an edge to it but Andrea ignored this.

"There's a chance he could be alive, or one of his henchman could decide to attack for revenge," Rick said. "That's enough for me. We need to be prepared for anything. That means getting Lori, Maggie and the little ones out."

"What about Sophia?" Lori asked.

"She's agreed to stay and fight," Carol answered.

"And you're okay with that?!"

"It's her decision." Carol looked at her daughter proudly. "This place belongs to her as much as it does to Rick or Andrea or Abraham that gives her just as might right to defend it. She's chosen to stay and defend what's hers."

Lori stared at her as if she couldn't believe what she was hearing. "She's a child. You're her parent. You tell her what to do, not the other way around."

"Lori, leave it alone," Rick cut in before Carol could get angry. "It's Sophia's choice and Carol's okay with it. That's the end of it." Lori just shook her head in disbelief. "You and Maggie pack your things, get ready to go."

The group broke apart then, going in different directions. Half an hour later, they were gathered in the yard to say their goodbyes to Lori and Maggie.

"We'll come for you when it's safe," Rick promised. Maggie nodded tearfully, attacking him with a hug. She went down the line hugging everyone, Lori waited by the car.

Maggie was opening the car door when the gunfire started. Lilly screamed as blood exploded from her arm.

"Get down!" Shane started shouting at the group. "Lori!"

Rick went after Lilly, pulling her to safety behind a wall. He ripped off his button up shirt and pressed it against her bleeding arm. She hissed and put her hand over the wound. His mind was racing, wondering what to do. They weren't prepared for this. There were screams coming from the yard.

Suddenly it all stopped. A voice spoke to them, amplified by a megaphone. "By now you've all heard who I am. I only came for one person. We'll go right now and leave you alone for good. All you have to do is hand over the redhead bitch that took my eye."

Michonne actually managed to smirk at that.

"Should we run?" Tyreese asked, lying face down on the ground. "What do we do?"

"Just stay where you are," Rick called.

"I need to get on the other side of that fence," Michonne said. "I can't do shit in here, but out there with them I could do some damage."

"No, dammit! No. You go on the other side of that fence and you die," Rick said. "We need you too much right now. We need to decide right now that we're going to work together or we're all dead."

"He's right, girl," Tyreese said. "We need you in here. This ain't no time for suicide missions."

"Last chance," The Governor said through his megaphone.

A shot rang out then, causing the Woodbury group outside to start screaming.

"What the hell was that?" Maggie squealed.

"Andrea! It's Andrea!" Sophia cheered, almost standing up in her excitement. Daryl's arm locked around her shoulders kept her from getting too far.

Andrea fired another shot, then another. Someone from the outside opened fire on her with a machine gun.

"She stopped," Glenn said. "She stopped shooting."

"That doesn't mean anything," Rick called. "We've got to get inside, there's no cover out here."

There were more gunshots from the tower opposite Andrea.

"Who's up there?!" Maggie exclaimed.

Rick peeked around the corner of the wall. "It's Abraham!"

Outside, the Governor was fuming. His people were falling left and right. He hadn't been expecting the prison group to fight back to such a large group. "This isn't working, fuck, this isn't working! Fall back, we need to regroup!"

The Woodbury survivors jumped into the trucks and left.

"They gave up?" Glenn asked in disbelief, standing up.

"They weren't expecting us to fight back," Tyreese mused. "They'll be back."

"Let's get inside, we've got to get Lilly some help," Rick said. "Someone go check on Andrea. Anybody else hurt?"

* * *

_The Governor writhed on the bed, screaming behind the bloody rag Natasha had crudely tied around his head. Martinez burst through the door, gun raised, ready to fire. When he caught sight of the Governor, his jaw dropped open, eyes widening in horror. Another man came in behind him, equally as shocked at the sight. _

_Martinez shook it off quicker, he rushed forward and ripped the rag from the Governor's mouth. "Which way did she go?" he asked immediately, ready to go after the bitch._

_"No time," the Governor hissed, struggling to stay conscious. "Untie me, let's get the fuck out while we can." __The two men exchanged looks and the Governor scowled. "Fucking Steve Rodgers! Captain America! I told you he was here, he and Banner. They're with Natasha, I didn't realize it until now. I thought we kept them away from each other, they must have helped her and the girl escape. We've got to go now while we're still fucking breathing!"_

_Martinez snapped into action then, quickly untying the bounds and snatching a rag to tie around the Governor's head. He clenched his teeth to keep the bile down as he helped his leader our to a truck. The trio climbed in, signalling for several others to follow in the other vehicles. They started the trucks and left through the gate, leaving it wide open behind them just as an almighty roar shook the ground._

* * *

It turned out Andrea had been shot, a bullet just grazing her head giving her a large scar across her left cheek. Lilly had taken a bullet to the arm but was mostly alright.

The others moved cars across the yard to use as cover to hide behind. One truck had been loaded with supplies as a last resort escape vehicle.

"What about Lori and Maggie?" Andrea asked. She, Rick, Glenn, Daryl and Abraham were standing in a circle in the yard, looking around. "Should we still send them out to the new community?"

"No," Rick decided, shaking his head. "We don't know where the Governor is, he followed them here he could follow them out there. I can't risk their safety."

"And staying here isn't?" Glenn asked.

"We can send them out the back way," Andrea suggested.

"We'll figure something out," Rick said. "I think it's best that no one leaves. We can't risk it. He could be parked outside just waiting for us to try to leave. We'll need Andrea, Glenn, Abraham and Carol in the tower, they're our best shots. Spread everybody else out behind the cars. Where are Michonne and Tyreese?"

"Haven't seen either of them since after the attack," Glenn said. "Figured they went off together…you know." He half shrugged.

"Well we need to find them," Rick said. "Let's get ready."

A few hours had turned up nothing.

"They're gone," Andrea concluded. They had searched the entire prison and hadn't found Michonne or Tyreese anywhere.

"Where would they go?" Lori spoke up.

"Yeah, why would they just leave?" Sophia asked from her mother's side. The group was gathered in the cell block, feeling discouraged and disappointed at Michonne and Tyreese's disappearance.

"They went after the Governor," Daryl said suddenly.

"What?" Andrea asked, furrowing her eyebrows.

"Alone?!" Sasha exclaimed.

"How do you know that?" Rick asked calmly.

"Don't for sure," Daryl said. "But you know how Michonne is about her sword. Hell, she was begging to jump the fence when he showed up here. I'd bet anything they snuck out after the Woodbury group left and tried to follow him back to wherever they're camped."

"That's a suicide mission," Sasha said sadly. "There's at least a hundred in that group."

Rick covered his face with his hands. "We'll have to do it without them."

* * *

The sound of an engine approaching the prison had the group scrambling. Shane forced Lori to take Judith with Maggie and Ben while he went out with the others; she tearfully screamed his name at his retreating figure, pleading for him not to leave her.

A truck pulled into the field in front of the prison, turned around and backed toward the fence.

The Governor got out, then jumped in the back of the truck. He shoved a person covered with a blanket to the end of the truck so that he could be seen by everyone in the yard. Then he yanked the blanket off, revealing Tyreese.

There was a collective gasp from the group in the yard.

"Oh my God!" Andrea exclaimed, covering her mouth with her hands.

"Tyreese, no," Sasha breathed, tears forming.

The Governor turned to the group, holding Michonne's sword over his head. "Before anyone gets trigger happy, know that I've got the woman too! My fat friend and I don't get back to our camp in one piece she dies! So no sudden moves okay! From that I think you can see where this is going. Open the gates, get that redhead bitch out of her hiding spot and all of you get in this truck and come back with us…or I do something terrible to your friend."

"Don't let him in," Tyreese yelled, just loud enough to be heard in the yard.

"Shut up!" the Governor yelled and hit him on the back of the head with the butt of the sword. "So what's it going to be?"

"What do we do?" Alice cried.

"What can we do?" Rick said. "We can't let him in here. He gets the prison he'll kill us all. Tyreese never should have left. It's him or all of us, we can't do anything."

"And Michonne," Daryl added. "Shit."

"He wants Natasha," Sasha sobbed. "She's not even here. We can't give her to him when she isn't even here, Rick, tell him she isn't here!" she screamed.

"Calm down," he hissed at her.

"So that's it then?" the Governor yelled, calling their attention back. "I don't think you realize how serious I am." He raised the katana, ignoring Sasha's screams and brought it down on Tyreese's neck. Raising it again and swinging until his head disconnected from his body.

"Just think of Michonne," Rick said as the rest of his group screamed and turned away. Sasha burst out in tears. "If she's alive this could buy her enough time to escape. Just think of her."

"Leave him for the biters," the Governor said to his men. "Let's roll before they get too close. Or before one of these shell shocked fucks decides to get a gun." They kicked Tyreese's body off the truck and pulled out of the yard.

"Oh, god," Alice said, rubbing her eyes. "I don't think I can do this."

"Doesn't matter," Rick said, facing her. "You have to. We've got to get it together or else Tyreese just died for nothing. Soon, very soon these people are going to come again and we have to be ready. Nobody is going to do this for us."

* * *

Inside the walls, things weren't much better. The shock of the afternoon had worn off and the reality of the situation was setting in.

"Tyreese, he's…dead?" Lori asked tearfully.

Shane rubbed her shoulders and nodded. "Yeah."

She spun to face Rick. "And you just watched it happen!?"

"There was nothing I could do," he defended. "If we'd taken his deal he would have killed everyone. He has Michonne, he could use her as a bargaining chip this time and we could save her life."

"It wasn't Rick's fault," Steve Rodgers cut in. "He did the right thing." Rick gave him a nod in thanks, Steve returned it. "Tyreese even told us not to let the Governor in. He knew what he was doing when he left, he knew what he was saying out there. He was giving up his life for the group. He died a hero."

The others absorbed this, Sasha sobbed softly. Rick felt a wave of relief that he and Steve seemed to be on the same page.

"What does he want from us?" Maggie cried.

Rick shifted. "Technically, he doesn't."

"What are you talking about?" Lori snapped.

"He wants Natasha."

"Can't you tell him she's not here? That she never made it back from Woodbury?" Alice asked.

"He wouldn't believe us," Maggie said.

"And my son is out there with her," Lori almost yelled at the woman. "We can't send that maniac out there after my son."

"And we can't let him in here either," Andrea yelled back. "This whole situation is fucked."

"She's right," Steve said. "If he comes in here and doesn't find Natasha he'll kill all of us. And if we tell him she's not here, if he even believes us, he could send someone to look for her and if he does that, Natasha and Carl will die. What can we do?" He looked at Rick to answer, knowing that the group followed his word almost without question.

"We can fight," Rick said, seeing his opportunity. "When it comes down to us or him, I choose us. We kill him first."


	18. Be Honest Inside

**Disclaimer: Do not own.**

* * *

**Chapter Eighteen- Be Honest Inside**

"_**Can't find the answers  
I've been crawling on my knees  
Looking for anything  
To keep me from drowning  
Promises have been turned to lies  
Can't even be honest inside  
I'm running backwards  
Watching my life wave me goodbye"**_

* * *

Natasha and Carl reached the tree line, carefully checked the streets before stepping onto the road. They hurried into the first gas station they saw. Natasha snatched a map from the plastic stand and paused. A picture of a bear was peeking out from under the map stand. She slid it out and felt the note taped to the back. Raising an eyebrow, she unfolded it and read:

'_N, if you can't go any further, wait here we will come for you soon. Supplies nearby. Waiting for you to come home. – R' _

Underneath was a series of letters and numbers in a different handwriting, a license plate she realized.

Natasha smiled.

"What's that?" Carl asked.

"Your dad looking out for us." She ducked outside and found the car that had the plate and went to it. A large duffel bag was thrown in the trunk which was held closed by a yellow bungie cord. She dropped it on the floor. Sighing in relief when she pulled out a bag of medical supplies.

"Lay down," she ordered. "Let's get that bandage changed."

Carl did as she asked. There was a scraping sound from behind her and she whipped around, gun raised.

"It's me," Bruce said, coming out of the back room with his hands up.

Natasha sighed. "Thank god." She stood up.

He came over and started to look over Carl.

"What are you doing in here?" she asked. "How long have you been here?"

"I was in a house up on that hill," he said. "I saw people here a few days ago so I came down but they were gone by the time I got here. I saw the note the left for you so I figured you might show up sooner or later. I hoped anyway."

"What happened when you got out of Woodbury?"

Bruce sighed. "I woke up in a ditch. I tried to find you guys but I didn't have a clue where to look. I didn't feel comfortable running naked into town so I stayed here." She had a feeling he was leaving something out by the way he avoided eye contact but she didn't comment. He looked up at her. "Natasha, I found something." He motioned for her to follow. "It's a CB radio, slightly modified. I've been trying to contact Tony for days. I got a flicker from him yesterday and this morning we connected for a few minutes but nothing since. I didn't get a chance to tell him where I was."

"Can you bring it with you?"

"Of course. When do you want to leave?"

"In the morning. We need food and sleep. Also I need you to check me over." She had been worrying to much about Carl she'd forgotten she'd been shot twice and had numerous cuts and bruises from the Governor's beatings. She was sure at least a few stitches had been ripped out while running in the woods.

Bruce got them food and tended Natasha's wounds, while she explained what happened.

"To think, in a world where the dead are trying to eat us, it's the living we have to worry about," Bruce said, shaking his head.

"The mothers that rose from the dead are nothing compared to the monsters we carry in our hearts," Carl said softly from the corner. He picked at his food and didn't look up.

They fell silent after that, now knowing what to say. Carl fell asleep after a while. Bruce moved him onto a pile of blankets, then hung a black sheet over the window to keep the sun out. A crack from the radio brought them back to attention.

"Bruce, Cap, Clint, Natasha, are you there? Anybody?" his voice recited robotically, as if he'd been doing it for quite some time with no response.

"Tony? Is that you?" Bruce exclaimed, grabbing the handset.

"Of course, who were you expecting? Thor?"

Natasha rolled her eyes.

"Who's with you?" Tony asked.

"Natasha and Carl," Bruce answered.

"Tell Natasha to stop rolling her eyes at me," Tony pouted. She stifled a laugh. "And did you say Carl? Who's Carl?"

"He's a kid-"

"A kid? Who's kid? Natasha's? Did her and Clint finally bang it out?"

"Tony, Clint is dead," Bruce said softly.

There was silence over the radio. "Are you sure?" He was deadly serious now.

"Natasha saw him get bit. So yeah, she's sure."

Another long pause. Tony chose not to comment further on Clint. Instead he asked, "Where are you? We'll come get you."

"Actually, we need your help."

"What a surprise."

"Nat fell in with a group of people and they need our help."

"Nat has friends? Now I _am_ surprised."

"Tony! Listen to me!" Bruce yelled.

Natasha put herself in front of Carl, her hand fell on her gun. Bruce closed his eyes until he was under control. "Is there a safe zone established in New York?" he asked.

"Yeah, but we're in D.C. The S.H.I.E.L.D. base is completely safe, if you didn't know. We were planning to get you guys up here, go to New York and restore Avengers tower. There's a zone being set up near D.C. Fury wanted Clint and Natasha to run that one." He went quiet.

"When can you get to Georgia?"

"Say the word and we'll be there. I've got a plane fueled up and ready to go."

"Come down then. We'll talk more then," Bruce rattled off a location to meet and they agreed to a time in the morning.

"So I guess in the morning," Bruce started. "I'll go meet Tony, you take Carl back to the group and let them know what's going on. See if they want to go."

Natasha shook her head, glancing at Carl. "I'd rather go meet Tony."

"What about Carl?"

"You can stay here with him, someone from the group should show up soon."

"Nat, they're your group," he protested.

She looked at her hands. "I don't know if I can face them."

"What? Why not?" Bruce asked. When she didn't answer he said quietly, "Nat, look, I know I'm not Clint, but you can talk to me."

"I just can't face them again, Bruce," she said. He waited patiently until she was ready. "In the store when the Governor showed up, Maggie would have been shot but I pushed her out of the way. Then Merle died, Maggie lost her hand and Carl got half his face blown off. It was my job to protect them and I failed. I had three people to protect. Bang up job I've done." She huffed. "How can I face Daryl now? Or Maggie? Lori will never forgive me when she sees the damage done to Carl." She felt tears welling up in her eyes.

Bruce listened silently to Natasha's speech. "Nat, listen. Maggie knew what she was doing. She knew all she had to do was tell the Governor what he wanted to know and he would end the beatings. She paid the price to keep the group safe and she's okay with it.

"Merle probably knew the same thing, that if he fought back the Governor would kill you and Maggie. He gave up his life for you and Maggie and her baby. As for Carl, you didn't even know he was with you. He knew the risks of sneaking into town and is paying the price for it. It's a tough lesson that he's learning the hard way. I don't know much about your group but I know that if they're good people, they'll know how hard you tried."

"That's not good enough," she snapped. "Carl is Rick's son and-"

"And what?"

"And I think I have a problem." She sighed. "I may have…feelings for Rick."

"What kind of feelings?" Bruce asked, fighting a smile.

Natasha glared at him. "Strong feelings."

"You love him," Bruce stated.

"I didn't say that." She leveled her gaze on him.

"Well, then, explain," he challenged.

She bit the inside of her cheek. "I think I might," was all she said.

"And that's a bad thing?"

"In this world, it is. Look at what happened to Carl. Once Rick sees him and finds out about his memory…" She glanced at Bruce.

"You're afraid he'll hate you? Make you leave the group?" Bruce tried.

"No, Rick isn't like that. I'm afraid he'll let me stay. So I'll have to live every day seeing the blame and accusations in his eyes. Or the blame in Lori's eyes. What I feel…I couldn't live so close to him and be so far away."

"I understand," Bruce said. And he did. "I think you should talk to him though."

Natasha just shook her head. "I just can't."

Bruce nodded. "Alright, tomorrow morning we'll go meet Tony together and decide what to do from them. Just think it over, sleep on it."

She didn't think her mind would change but she nodded anyway.

* * *

"They're here!" Andrea shouted from the guard tower.

"Shit. We're fucked," Axel said, seeing the trucks approaching.

"Are there more of them? It looks like there's more," Alice said.

"No, not possible," Rick said. "Just keep it together everybody, you know what to do. If we work together we can get through this." He started pointing and shouting instructions, everyone ran in different directions.

He ducked under a car, others following his lead. "Shoot from under the cars! They're surrounded by walkers, they can't get on the ground to shoot back!" Gunshots went off all around, Rick struggled to make himself heard.

From the tower, Abraham pulled a pin from a grenade. "See if these things even work." He tossed it outside the fence, smiling in delight when it exploded. The Woodbury survivors were screaming and running.

In the other tower, Andrea started firing. She began picking them off, a cloud of blood sprayed into the air as the bodies hit the ground.

The Governor watched his men fall him around him. "Fuck it, fuck it!" He jumped in the big truck and plowed it through the fences. The Woodbury survivors followed him in, keeping their backs to the truck to avoid being grabbed by a walker.

"Fuck!" Shane screamed, a few feet away from Rick. "We can't do it man, we gotta go."

"Shane, we can't!"

Shane turned away, the only thing on his mind were his wife and newborn daughter. "I've got to find Lori!" He ran off then, ignoring Rick's cries to come back.

"He's right!" Daryl yelled. "We can't do it!" He backed toward the door, looking around for Sophia.

Rick gritted his teeth, finally accepted defeat. He shot at a Woodbury soldier and started for the door as well. Once inside they could regroup and try to attack from within. The Governor was screaming at his men, alerting them of Rick's retreat, when suddenly he stopped. Rick turned back to see the Governor's body on the ground, his head lying several feet away. Blood pooling around it. Michonne was standing over him, eyes wet, sword dripping red.

The Woodbury survivors seemed to be in shock until she moved, going after a walker that was getting too close. The men started to shoot at her, but she ran behind the truck, ducking under to avoid walkers until Andrea picked them all off from the tower.

Daryl, Carol, Rick and the others fought back. The yard was a flurry of bullets flying, blood spilling and bodies falling. When it all stopped, it didn't seem real.

"Is that all?" Rick growled. "Did we get them all?" He stared around, pounding heart refusing to calm down until he knew they were in the clear.

"What now?" Sasha asked, looking around.

"Somebody park that truck in front of the hole. It won't help for long but it's something." They'd cleared the walkers that had come in but with all the gunfire, more would surely be coming. Steve ran out to help bend the fence back into a somewhat useful shape. Rick looked around the yard. "Walkers and Woodbury people go over there." He pointed to the outside yard. "We'll burn them later. Any of our people…go in the corner. We bury them."

* * *

"My friend, the spider!" Thor bellowed when the trio entered. He was seated on a stool. Tony, Phil Coulson and Maria Hill stood nearby.

"Hi, Thor," she said with a nod. "Stark."

"Good to see you too, Romanoff. Cute kid. Yours?" he joked.

She rolled her eyes. Once the greetings were over, Natasha asked what the plan was.

"There are ten seats on Tony's jet," Coulson said. "That's seven for us, we can take three from your group, Romanoff. Fury wants you in D.C. to oversee the survivor's camp S.H.I.E.L.D. is setting up. If your group is interested in staying with you we'll give them driving directions. Once you're settled in, Steve, Tony and I will be heading to New York. Avenger's tower is intact, but the block around it isn't. Although, we've secured several blocks around the tower and have agents working to clear out enough space for a safe zone. Tony and Thor were a big help in clearing that area out." Big smiles from those two. "Where is your group right now?"

Natasha told him. Tony passed a bag to her. "Pepper sent this for you. After a year down here she figured you'd want something from home." He gave her a genuine smile which she found odd, and yet, warm.

When the briefing was finished, Natasha went into the bathroom and opened the bag, delighted to find a new uniform along with several pairs of jeans, shirts, a leather jacket and clean underwear. She washed herself off and slipped into her uniform. Zipping up her new boots with a smile. Pepper had even remembered her Widow's Bites.

She felt comfortable, this was familiar to her. Allowing herself a moment to pamper herself, she paused in front of the mirror to comb the tangles out of her hair, which had grown out past her shoulders. Unsurprisingly, several leaves and a few twigs fell to the bathroom floor as she did so. No doubt they were souvenirs from her sprint through the woods with Carl. Slipping Clint's knife into her boot she picked up the bag and went to rejoin the others.

"And she's back!" Tony cheered. "Look like your old self again, Romanoff."

"Feel like my old self," she admitted, shouldering the bag. "Whenever you're ready."

* * *

Lori was kneeling on the ground next to Shane's body. She was sobbing. Carol stood several feet away holding Judith, silent tears rolled down her own cheeks. Maggie had gotten a sheet and covered Shane's torso, which had been torn apart by bullets.

"Take all the time you need," Maggie had mumbled tearfully, before hurrying away to Glenn.

Occasionally Lori said something or her sobs got loud. The rest of the group watched, and waited. Lori had both hands on Shane's cheeks. She leaned down and kissed his lips and whispered something final to him. Without warning she shot up and spun around making a beeline for Rick, slapping him hard across the face when she reached him. "This is all your fault! We should have left when we had the chance!" She started hitting him in the chest. "Why didn't you just let us leave!?"

Michonne shoved her backward. "It's no one's fault!" she yelled. Lori pushed her away and turned to go back to Shane, who was starting to stand up.

"Shane?" Lori spoke, blinking in disbelief.

"That's not Shane," Michonne said, trying to pull her away.

The walker-Shane lunged for Lori, who screamed loudly and tripped, falling backward. Daryl put an arrow through his old companion's skull, promptly removing it and hurrying to help Glenn prepare the grave. Lori sat on the ground, hugging her knees and wailing.

Michonne moved over to Rick. "What the hell was that? He wasn't bit. Why'd he come back?"

Andrea slowly shook her head, wanting to understand. Glenn, Maggie, Daryl and Abraham glanced awkwardly around.

Rick just shook his head. Unable to hold it in any longer, he announced, "We're all infected."


	19. World Full of Wrong

**Disclaimer: Don't own any of this.**

* * *

**Chapter Nineteen- World Full of Wrong**

"_**You by the light  
Is the greatest find  
in a world full wrong  
**__**You're the thing that's right  
**__**Finally made it through the lonely  
**__**to the other side"**_

* * *

"This doesn't look good," Tony commented from the back seat. Natasha peered around him and her jaw nearly dropped. There was a gaping hole in the side of the fence, a truck had been strategically parked in front of it. Blood stained the grass. There was a pile of bodies in the outside yard next to one of the towers.

Coulson stopped the SUV in front of the gate. Glenn and Andrea were nearby, glaring at the cars with guns raised. Natasha got out, Carl followed her. Andrea gasped, tears springing to her eyes and she ran to open the gate. She grabbed Natasha in a hug a second later.

"Andrea," Natasha hissed, pulling from her hold. "What the hell happened?" She hardly glanced at the large cut on the side of the blonde's face.

Andrea hugged Carl and stood up before answering. "The Governor." She tearfully told the story while Glenn occasionally added something. Coulson, Maria, Tony and Thor had gotten out of the car and joined them, listening to the story.

Natasha's heart sank into her stomach. She'd failed again. "This is my fault," she said without meaning to.

"No, it's not," Andrea said, shaking her head.

"I had my chance to kill him in Woodbury, I didn't take it. I tortured him and then left him." How could Andrea think this wasn't her fault? She couldn't believe how stupid she had been. When she got up the nerve finally, she asked, "Who did we lose?"

Andrea bit her lip. "Tyreese. Lilly. Axel. T-Dog. Oscar." She looked down. "Shane."

"Shane?" Carl exclaimed.

Natasha closed her eyes, wanting nothing more than to disappear before anyone else came outside and spotted her.

"As much as I'm enjoying story time," Tony interrupted. "Can we maybe move it inside?" He motioned to the walkers started to gravitate toward them.

"I'll get Rick and the others," Glenn said, giving Natasha a small smile. She didn't return it.

"I can't do this," Natasha hissed into Bruce's ear.

"Yes, you can," he whispered back, gently pulling his arm out of her ironlike grip. "Just relax, it's going to be okay."

"Everything that happened here, what happened to Merle and Maggie and Carl, that's all my fault. Shane, T-Dog, Lilly, the others. All their blood is on my hands," she told him.

"You can't think like that."

"How am I supposed to look at it?" she snapped.

"That these are your friends," Bruce insisted calmly. "You saw how Andrea reacted to your return. They'll be happy to see you, just come on." He motioned for her to follow the others, eventually she did, making sure to close the gate after Coulson and Maria pulled the cars in. She plunged her knife into the skull of a walker who had managed to get inside. Its blood sprayed out of the wound like a fountain. Oddly, it only made her feel worse about everything.

Rick and Michonne had come into the yard, Abraham right behind them. Michonne was grinning a little. Natasha barely glanced at Rick but even she could see the conflicting emotions on his face. Happiness at her return but sadness and anger about the previous day's events.

Daryl, Carol and Sophia came out the side door. Smiles crossing their faces, Daryl's for the briefest of moments. "Natasha!" Sophia cheered, running forward and hugging the redhead around the waist. Bruce sent her a smug smile.

Lori came out then, changing the mood in an instant. She barreled toward Natasha as if on a war path and slapped the woman across the face. "Look what you did!" Andrea grabbed Lori around the waist and hauled her back. Lori went on screaming, "This is your fault! Shane died because of you!"

Natasha said nothing. Any other day she would have hit Lori back but today she didn't for two reasons: she knew Lori was grieving and therefore not herself, and on some level, Natasha thought she deserved to be hit. The redhead didn't look at anyone besides Lori. She couldn't take hearing the same thing from anyone else, couldn't take seeing the blame or accusation in the others' eyes. They let Lori scream until she dissolved into tears and sat on the ground. Carl went over and sat in his mother's lap. She hugged him to her, sobbing, careful to avoid touching the bandage over his right eye. Carl let himself be petted by his mother and cried right along with her.

Steve quietly slipped over to greet Natasha, Tony and the others. The redhead stood next to Coulson, shoulders back, arms crossed and chin up. Her pride wouldn't allow her to do what she really wanted, which was slink behind Thor and hide.

"We have some things to discuss with you," Coulson said, ignoring the awkwardness from before. "Maybe we should take some time to calm down first. Let's talk at dinner time?"

The group separated. Maggie came over to hug Natasha. "Don't listen to Lori, none of this was your fault." Natasha gave a pained grin in response.

Carol had taken Lori inside with Carl, most of the awkwardness had evaporated by then.

"Damn, Red," Abraham said, using Merle's nickname for Natasha. "You fill that suit out good."

"I wouldn't stand so close to her if you're going to talk like that," Tony said. "She's killed men for less."

Abraham snorted and said something else. Natasha gave no indication that she'd heard them at all.

Coulson looked around. "Is there somewhere I can speak to Natasha and Steve in private?" He wasn't asking anyone in particular so Natasha answered him. "Yeah, I'll show you." She walked away, not looking behind her.

Coulson, Maria, Steve, Tony, Thor and Bruce followed her to the Warden's office. She sat down in Rick's chair behind the desk, feeling a wave of sadness and nostalgia.

"What's up?" Steve asked. Coulson briefly explained the situation in D.C.

"Fury has placed Natasha in charge of the newly established safe zone known as Alexandria," Coulson explained. "He wants you, Tony and Thor in New York to secure the area around Avengers tower. We'll leave for the city after Natasha is settled into Alexandria."

"What about the group here?" Steve asked.

Natasha shook her head. Always thinking of others. That's what gets you into trouble.

"They'll be invited to come along, if they should choose. If they know Natasha is going they shouldn't need much more convincing."

Natasha almost snorted at that. Bruce was watching her carefully.

"What about Bruce?" Steve questioned.

"He's chosen to remain in D.C. for the time being," Coulson said. "A number of our scientists are gathered there doing research, searching for a cure, a vaccine, something."

"How's that going?" Natasha snapped.

"Our lead scientist says the latest research is promising," he answered, ignoring her icy tone.

"Why is the safe zone just now being established?" Steve asked.

"It isn't," Coulson said, looking up at his hero. "It's been cleared and set up for a long time. But Fury didn't want anyone to move in there without Natasha so it's been empty. The survivors have crowded into SHIELD base until we were able to locate Natasha, which took much longer than expected."

"What about New York? Stark tower?"

"Avengers Tower," Tony corrected.

Steve rolled his eyes in a deliciously modern display of annoyance. Natasha's lips quirked.

"Avengers Tower is intact, the blocks around it as well," Coulson said. "There are a number of survivors living there right now under SHIELD protection but Fury wants it expanded. Tony and Thor have been great at clearing out the walkers."

Thor's bright smile and Tony's positively devilish smirk almost had Natasha smiling too. She wondered just what could have made them smile like that.

Having said all he needed to say, Coulson stood up. "Let's go talk to the group."

Rick was waiting outside the Warden's office for her. "Hey, you gotta a minute?"

She shook her head. "We need to talk with the group."

He looked a little hurt but didn't say anything, just nodded. She started to walk right past him but he stopped her.

"Don't shut me out, Tasha," he pleaded. "Not now, not after everything."

She stared at him for several seconds, his pleading eyes made her insides twist. She had let him break down her walls and it was too late for her to push him away. Without giving him any sort of answer, she turned away and went to the cafeteria. Rick followed her silently.

"If everyone is ready, I'll explain what we're doing here," Coulson said. He explained the safe zone in D.C. and the power grids it was running on. "We're currently working on getting it set up to run off arc technology. If you're interested in going, we can take you. We've stockpiled food, clothes, various other items. You'll get your own house, and you'll be protected by SHIELD's best agent." He winked at Natasha. She fought the urge to throw something at him.

"That sounds amazing," Andrea mused, hugging Ben to her.

"No one lives there right now?" Maggie asked.

"Not at this time, you'll be the first residents, should you choose to go," Maria answered. "For the past few months SHIELD has allowed survivors to live at our headquarters in a quarantine zone. When Natasha arrives in Alexandria, that group will be taken there as well."

"We'll give you twenty-four hours to think about it and pack your things. In the mean time, you should all get some rest."

"It was most enjoyable meeting you all," Thor said with a slight bow. "Though I wish it were on better terms. Your realm seems to have an infestation problem."

"We noticed," Andrea deadpanned.

The others snickered slightly as they split up. Rick met Natasha's eyes, silently asking her to follow. She turned to Coulson, then gave Rick a nod, promising to come to him soon. She took the new arrivals to a cell so they could get some rest themselves and talk more about the safe zone.

* * *

She knew exactly where Rick was, where he always was. When she made it to him she was dragging her feet. He was handing her a plate of food before she even sat down.

"I saw you at dinner and I know you didn't eat. Eat all of this or I'll have Sophia come tell you all about the bead collection she had," he demanded.

"Sounds boring."

"It is, extremely, she told me about it a while back." He took a seat next to her, watching her. "What happened out there?" he asked. "In Woodbury, I mean."

"You should talk to Carl about that first."

"Why?"

She shook her head. "It's something you need to hear from him." Her tone wasn't exactly cold but she didn't sound as if she cared either. She distracted herself by eating what he'd given her, though she was having to force it down because of the lump in her throat.

"I missed you, you know?" he said boldly, scratching behind his ear to avoid looking at her directly. "Wasn't the same without you here to boss me around." He looked up then and gave her a smile, she only stared at him before looking at the wall. Rick frowned. Whatever the nature of their relationship was before, it seemed to have changed now. They didn't have the same easy going nature as before.

From the moment she had set foot in the yard, all Rick wanted to do was go to her and hold her. He could see the cuts and bruises on her face, and knew there was more under her suit according to Maggie. Even now he was sitting a foot away from her and the urge to pull her to him was almost uncontrollable. But he didn't do it because she seemed even more cold and distant than she'd been when they first met. She couldn't even look at him for more than a moment.

Rick's insides twisted. "So…this place in D.C. sounds pretty good."

"It's what you wanted," she replied, placing the now empty plate on the table. She should have felt full, but the food created a new weight in her stomach. "A new start, somewhere safe. It would be well protected."

"Is it what you want?" he asked.

"I want to keep the group safe. It's up to them whether they want to stay or go."

"What if they want to stay? Will you stay here too?"

"I can't, you heard Coulson, I'm under orders. I have to go. If they want to stay they have to protect themselves."

"What if I wanted you to stay?" His voice was thick with emotion that made Natasha's heart clench.

"Rick," she stopped, closing her eyes to keep the tears at bay.

"Just say it," he commanded softly, voice barely above a whisper. She couldn't bear the thought of leaving him but knew she had to.

"I have to go." Her eyes shot open when something touched her lips. Rick's face was inches away from hers. Their breath mixed together.

"I don't want you to go," he said, voice thick. He closed the distance again and pressed his lips against hers.

"Come with me," she breathed before she could stop herself. He responded by gripping her hips to pull her closer. Her fingers grasped his curls to pull him as close as possible. His tongue grazed her bottom lip and she opened up to him. She moaned in his mouth and he smirked. Moving to kiss her jaw, sucking on her earlobe.

Suddenly she pushed him away.

"What's wrong?" Rick asked, confused.

Her head was spinning. "I can't…"

"Tasha," he started. "It's okay-"

She stood up. "Don't tell me it's okay," she snapped.

"Then tell me what's wrong?"

She stared at the wall, still trying to get herself together. Her thoughts wouldn't let her form the words to tell Rick what had happened and why it was her fault. Luckily, she was saved from doing so.

A knock on the door broke the awkward silence. Carl walked into the room a moment later.

"Dad, can I talk to you?"

"Yeah, son, of course." He met Natasha's eyes.

She stood up. "I'll leave you two alone then." Her hand brushed over Carl's head affectionately as she walked to the door. She knew what this was about and she didn't want any part of it. Natasha walked quickly out the doors and to the guard tower, where she knew Michonne was on watch.

Michonne actually smiled when Natasha climbed up. "Good to have you back, my friend."

"Wish I could say it was good to be back," the redhead replied, leaning against the rails.

"What's the problem?"

"Lori blames me for everything," Natasha stated.

"She does," Michonne confirmed.

"Does anyone else?"

"Sasha may be a little upset with you, but she's still grieving, she'll get over it. What happened out there?"

Natasha closed her eyes briefly and began telling her what happened, starting with the town Merle had died in. She told her all about Woodbury, what she'd done to the Governor and what had almost happened to Carl in the woods. Talking to Michonne was a lot easier than talking to Rick right now. Probably because she knew Michonne wouldn't judge her or blame her. Though she couldn't explain it, she and Michonne shared a kinship.

"Sounds like some fucked up shit," Michonne said with a small laugh.

"No kidding."

"Have you talked to Rick about it?"

Natasha shook her head. "How can I?"

"You think he blames you for Carl getting shot," Michonne stated. "You think he'll blame you like Lori does."

Natasha didn't answer.

"Look, I can't speak for Rick. Carl's his son and you know he'd do whatever he had to do to protect him. Same thing you did for him while you were out there, it sounds like." Michonne paused. "But I can tell you right now that Rick missed you, every day you were gone. The first few days it was just little glances at the road to see if you were coming back. Then when we found Merle and realized what had happened, the whole group wanted to go look for you. Part of Rick wanted to look for you too, I know. But he trusted you and knew you would come back safe, and bring Carl back safe too. Lori screamed at him for it. Glenn argued with him over it. We searched the town, looked for some trail to lead us somewhere, anywhere close to you. When we had to admit defeat everyone agreed to wait for you to come back."

"Then Maggie and Steve show up here without you," Michonne said, pausing a moment. "That night was bad. Rick insisted on taking watch that night. I came up to talk to him. We had a nice, long talk about you. He didn't know what to do. Then there was the threat of the Governor. Things got bad, everybody was arguing about what to do. Lori and Shane kept blaming Rick for letting Carl go missing in the first place. She didn't think you would keep him alive. Then the Governor came here..." she trailed off. Natasha didn't need her to finish.

"They don't trust me, do they?"

"They do. Except Lori. But you know what? Fuck Lori."

Natasha snorted.

"I'm serious," Michonne said. "Fuck her. All she's done since she got here is cause problems between Rick and Shane, then Rick and you. She got into it with Daryl and Maggie while you were gone. Just before you got back she started a fight with Andrea. Lucky Abraham was nearby or Lori would have lost a vital organ."

"What did she say to Andrea?"

"I don't know for sure, Andrea couldn't calm down enough to tell me the whole story. All I know is Lori said something about Carl not getting back safe. Like, what would Andrea do if it were Ben out there with a strange woman who had a dark past she refused to talk about. That was right after we buried Shane, I wouldn't take it to heart." She shrugged.

Natasha just shook her head, ready for a subject change. "Rick kissed me."

"Did you kiss him back?" Michonne asked, not the least bit surprised.

"I did before I broke it off."

"Why did you do that?"

"He doesn't know what happened, not the whole story."

"You can't keep Carl in a bubble," Michonne said. "He has an injury that none of us understands, except maybe Dr. Banner but even he isn't sure just how much damage has been done. Carl will have lapses in memory and he's going to wander off, it's just how it is. You can't blame yourself for it."

"He was sitting on my lap in a tree," Natasha said harshly. "He got down without waking me up. How could I let that happen?"

"You were tired and stressed the fuck out," Michonne snapped. "You stopped anything bad from happening so you should count that as a win. Are you done with the pity party now?"

Natasha grinned. "Yeah, I'm done."

"Good." Michonne grinned back. "Carl talking to Rick now?" Natasha confirmed. "Then he'll tell Rick what happened. I'm sure you'll get to talk to him tomorrow and everything will work out. You just gotta believe it."

"When did you become an optimist?" Natasha quirked an eyebrow.

Michonne smiled sadly. "When one of the bravest men I've ever met died protecting two friends of mine." They shared a smile, knowing she meant Merle. "We all know our lives are shortened in this world, we're dying off every day. But you were right about Merle, he wasn't who I thought he was. And he believed we could survive. He thought this group had a shot at making it, the misfits that we are. I thought he was crazy but he told me to trust Rick and trust you and we'd make it."

"I don't know about the trusting me part," Natasha said.

"You're better than you think you are," Michonne said. She shook her head. "You and Merle are just alike."

"How do you figure?" Natasha raised an eyebrow.

"You forget we took watch together most nights, we talked a lot." Michonne shook her head again. "He liked for everybody to think he was a racist hick. He talked about his past with drugs and going to jail for assault charges all the time. Basically he brought up his past to the group every chance he could to build up walls to keep us out, keep anyone from getting too close to him. Really he was just emotionally damaged because of his father's abuse and his mother's neglect and just didn't want anyone to hurt him again. You do the same thing. You like everyone to think you're a ruthless, cold-hearted killer. You never miss a chance to remind us of all the bad shit you've done. That's your way of building up the walls to keep us out. Really you're just damaged because of your own childhood," Michonne said. She paused for a moment. "You're afraid to lose anyone, that's why you don't let them get close. Merle got past your walls, just like you got past his. He knew the real you, he told me that much.

"I know why you push people away and build your walls up. When someone gets too close, they can hurt you. Like Rick. He broke down your walls and it's scaring you," Michonne said, watching Natasha squirm. "That's why you're out here talking to me right now instead of inside with him. You're using what happened to Carl as a barrier, a block to start rebuilding your walls. You've got it in your head that Rick will blame you and you can't stand the idea of him treating you the way Lori did earlier. You know how you feel about him and it's scaring the shit out of you. Just like James and Clint before him, you're afraid you'll care about Rick then lose him too."

Natasha was sitting still as stone, listening to Michonne's speech. She didn't say anything.

"Merle told me a little secret about you too," Michonne said after a while, when it was clear that Natasha wasn't going to answer her.

"What did he tell you?" Now she was really curious.

"That you don't think you're good enough for this group. That we don't really need you. But this group sleeps a hell of a lot better when you're around. Even Lori, no matter what she says."

Natasha almost laughed, glad for the subject change. "Oh yeah? How do you figure that?" She crossed her legs, facing the other woman.

"No figuring about it, she said it out right," Michonne said. She held up her hands at Natasha's look of disbelief. "I swear it. The first night you were gone she told Carol she couldn't sleep the night before because she was used to hearing you creeping down the halls every night. She said, and I quote, 'she doesn't make a sound but I can almost feel her moving around and I feel so much better knowing she's looking out for us in here'."

Natasha actually snorted. "You're full of shit."

"Ask Carol, she'll tell you." They laughed together again and eventually changed the subject.

"So," Natasha said, looking at the floor. "How are you holding up?"

Michonne tensed, knowing she was asking about Tyreese. "Awful. I know how you feel about the Carl situation."

"What do you mean?"

"Blaming yourself for what happened. I blame myself for Tyreese's death."

"He didn't have to follow you out there," Natasha said. "He made his own decision."

"You mean like how Carl made his decision to sneak into town with you?"

"Fair enough. But Carl is an impulsive child and Tyreese is a grown man and knows the consequences of his actions. He followed you under his own volition and you can't beat yourself up for it."

"The Governor cut his head off. With my sword."

"That's fucked up, it really is," Natasha said. She didn't know what to say. "We can't save everybody."

Michonne locked eyes with her. "Right back at you. Let's not talk about it anymore." Her eyes were filled with tears. Natasha silently slid over to her, putting an arm around her shoulders. Michonne leaned her head against Natasha's and cried for Tyreese- her lost love, and for Merle- her lost friend. When Natasha started to cry as well, Michonne put her arm around the redhead's shoulders, they comforted each other as they let go of their pain together.

* * *

The next morning, Natasha went to the warden's office not surprised to find Rick there.

"Been up long?" she asked, sitting down across from him.

"All night actually," he admitted. "Carl told me what happened. Everything. Even what happened in the woods."

Natasha looked at her hands. "I did my best, Rick. They still snuck up on me somehow."

"But you saved Carl."

"They never should have gotten a hand on him," she snapped.

Rick let the subject drop. "What are we doing then?"

"I'm going to D.C," she said. "I'm sorry, Rick but I have to."

He nodded but didn't say anything.

"Ready to talk to the group?" she asked. "Find out what they want to do?"

"Good a time as any." He followed her outside, where everyone else was beginning to gather.

Tony clapped his hands together. "So what's everyone doing?"

"Is Natasha going?" Maggie asked, looking to the red head.

"She is," Coulson confirmed. "She's been ordered to return to D.C. to run the survivor's camp."

"Then I'm going."

"Me too," Glenn chimed in.

"Wait, we don't know anything about this place," Lori cut in.

"It's a safe zone," Maggie snapped. "Natasha and the others will be there. That's all I need to hear."

"Yeah," Glenn agreed.

"I'll go," Michonne said, nodding at Natasha, who smiled.

"What happens if we want to stay?" Sasha asked. "No offense, but I saw Atlanta. Something tells me D.C. isn't much different."

"Well," Tony said, clapping his hands together. "Let me tell you the story as I know it. SHIELD has thousands of highly trained agents, as well trained as these two over here." He motioned to Phil and Maria. "They're all trained to handle special situations, such as this. When the outbreak went widespread, thousands of agents were dispatched. The ones on missions were alerted and given new orders. Washington didn't go down without a fight, I'll tell you that."

"We pride ourselves on a quick and effective response to disaster," Coulson picked up. "We have an entire neighborhood outside D.C. that's equipped with solar panels. It's completely self-sufficient. This is where you'll be going, if you choose to go. When the reports came in, we were mapping out which streets to block off. By the time it hit Chicago, we had a quarantine area, safe houses and Tony, Steve and Thor on standby. When it finally hit D.C. we had thousands of agents in the streets. Unfortunately the outbreak had taken Atlanta very early on and we were unable to send backup for Agents Barton and Romanoff. But other agents all around the globe found ways to report back to us that they had set up safe zones and are taking in survivors, much how Natasha did here. So your safety in our zone is as close to guaranteed as I can give you."

"I believe that tells me all I'll to know," Andrea said. "I'm going."

"How we getting there?" Daryl asked. "D.C. ain't exactly right next door."

"You'll be driving," Coulson said. "I've mapped out a route for you to that has several safe houses nearby. They are each operated by a SHIELD agent. They will take you in for the night, give you what you need."

Daryl looked at Rick, then at Carol, who nodded and pulled Sophia closer to her. "Count us in too," he said.

"Lori? Abraham?" Rick asked, looking at the others.

"I'm in," Abraham said.

"Me too," Sasha finally agreed.

Finally Lori nodded.

"When do we leave?" Rick asked.

"As soon as you're all ready," Coulson said, handing a map to him. "Tony and the others need to get back as soon as possible. We've been gone too long already. We'll be getting on a very small plane and flying to the city, we'll be waiting for you when you get there."

"You can't take us too?" Glenn asked, looking at Maggie.

"There are ten seats on the plane, there's no room."

"I'll go with the group," Natasha said. "Take Lori and the baby with you. Sophia, too if there's room."

"You're sure?" Coulson asked. Lori looked up at Natasha, shock evident on her face.

She nodded. "I know you said there are safe houses but we don't know what the roads are like. There may be nights when we can't get to one or run across a herd. The baby would draw too much attention to us out there. She and Lori might not survive." And put the rest of us in danger, she added mentally. "I'm sure you have baby supplies at the base. They'll be safer with you. Take them."

Maria thought this over. "I'll go with them as well, Carl can have my seat."

"No, Maria, Fury needs you in D.C. I'll stay," Coulson said.

She clenched her jaw. "Fine." Knowing he was right.

"I want to stay with my dad," Carl said. "Maggie should go. And Ben too."

Tony looked at Carol. "One seat left, Mrs. Dixon, you in?"

She looked at Daryl, who gave a reassuring nod. "Yeah, I'm in."

Coulson shifted his weight and counted. "Maria, Tony, Bruce, Thor, Lori, Judy, Sophia, Maggie, Ben and Carol are going with us, right? That's settled. Be ready in an hour. Steve, Agent Romanoff, come with me please."

Natasha looked at Lori who's glare had softened a little. The brunette turned away. Natasha then locked eyes with Rick, who was smiling. She smiled back awkwardly and turned away.

* * *

**A/N: Sorry for the monster chapter, I wanted to split it in two but just couldn't bring myself to do so. Hopefully you all enjoyed it, leave me a review? Next time: more talk about D.C.**

**~JLL**


	20. Tell You No Lies

**Disclaimer: Don't own.**

* * *

**Chapter Twenty- Tell You No Lies**

"_**Life isn't easy from the singular side  
Down in the hole some emotions are hard to hide  
It's your decision it's a chance that you take  
It's on your head it's a habit that's hard to break  
Do you need a friend would you tell no lies  
Would you take me in are you lonely in the dark"**_

* * *

There were tears from Carol, Maggie and Lori as they hugged their husbands, praying this wasn't the last time they saw each other but knowing this was what was best. Lori cried as she hugged Carl. She awkwardly waved to Rick before Tony complained enough and they got in the car.

"Be safe out there," Maggie said, hugging Natasha.

"You too," she replied.

When they had gone, Coulson split everyone into five cars. "Rick, Natasha, Andrea and Carl in the truck. Daryl, Abraham, Michonne and myself in the Hyundai. Steve, Alice, Sasha and Glenn in the car." While everyone was loading up, he went around to Natasha and Steve, giving them a walkie talkie. "I spread us out for a reason. These people are survivors, but they aren't professionally trained. We were. The people in your vehicle are your group, you're responsible for them. It will make it easier to watch out for smaller groups instead of the one big one."

They went back to the group. Abraham opened the gate for the last time and the caravan pulled out. Carl stared out the window for a long time, watching the trees blur around him before he fell asleep. When the sun started to set, Coulson called for them to pull over.

"I thought we would be in a safe house," Andrea said, looking around.

"There are plenty along the route to D.C. but we won't make it to one tonight," Coulson said. "We stay in tents for tonight, we should reach the first check point tomorrow. I assume you all have some sort of guard system in place?"

"I take first shift," Rick volunteered.

"I'll go next," Daryl said.

"Then me," Abraham spoke up.

Andrea and Glenn began to get some food together while the others set up tents. Andrea had to laugh at the sight of Coulson in a suit and tie setting up his tent. Michonne and Sasha stood next to her, watching him as well.

"It's rude to stare," he called to them without looking up.

Andrea laughed. "Sorry it's just a funny sight."

He turned to glare at them and the girls scattered, giggling. Soon after eating, the group went to bed. Rick sat with his back against a tree, staring out into the woods. He heard soft cracks from the animals scurrying around out of his line of vision. He nearly had a heart attack when he glanced to his left and saw a pair of feet standing next to him.

"It's just me," Natasha said, sitting next to him. "Don't shoot or anything."

He put his gun down. "How do you do that? Move around so quiet?"

"It's just how I was trained."

"You'll have to teach me. I didn't hear a sound from you."

"I think you were distracted, I'm not that good."

He snorted. "Distracted with what?"

"The same thing that's been distracting me all day."

"What's that?" he asked, already knowing the answer.

She gave him a pointed look and he grinned. Not knowing what to say, he asked, "Why are you out here?"

"To keep you company, obviously." She stretched her legs out so her feet were next to his.

"You should be resting," he said, bumping her boot with his.

"I'm fine." She bumped him back.

"Bruce says you're not." Bump.

"He's lying." Bump.

"He's a doctor and your friend." Bump.

She snorted. "Having a medical degree gives him the right to say what time I go to bed?" She bumped his foot again.

"Yeah, pretty much." Bump.

She nudged his ribs with her elbow. "Shut it."

He chuckled and reached out without thinking and put his arm around her shoulders. She didn't lean into him, but he felt her shoulders relax and that was enough for him.

"Tasha," he said quietly. "Are we gonna talk about last night?"

"No," she responded. "Talking complicates things."

He smirked, feeling giddy all of a sudden. "Guess I'll have to write you a letter. 'Do you like me? Check yes or no.'"

She laughed at him and rolled her eyes. "I wouldn't answer it."

"I'd sing you a song."

"I'd push you in the creek."

"I'd jump on top of the car and recite a poem."

"I'd shoot you."

Rick laughed. "_Shot through the heart, and you're too blame, you give love a bad name_," he sang.

"Alright, I'm done with you," she said. "I'd rather go to bed."

He stood up with her. "I'll walk you back, I have to wake Daryl."

When Natasha reached her tent, she grabbed his arm and said, "I lied before. I'd check yes." Her tone was teasing but Rick knew she meant it. She winked and went inside, leaving Rick with a big, cheesy smile on his face.

* * *

They were on the road again early the next morning. Andrea was annoyed at Coulson's pushiness but Natasha laughed it off. She was used to him. Carl was restless being in the car all day. Natasha tried to keep him entertained with car games and songs but he quickly tired of that and began asking her about missions she had been on in the past.

"Which one was the most fun?"

"I don't think any of them were particularly fun," she said. "But after we finished a job in Venezuela, Clint and I celebrated by sitting under a giant umbrella with a guy selling rotten tomatoes and a dozen other locals having shots of tequila. I woke up in a chicken coop with eggshells in my bra, half a taco in my jeans pocket and some kind of map drawn on my stomach. It led to a woman's house, who was very insistent on having lunch with me before trying to sell me a basket full of yarn. I later found Clint riding a donkey down the street, wearing nothing but a poncho and cowboy boots. To this day, I have no idea what happened. Moral of the story here, Carl, don't get drunk in a foreign country if you don't speak the language."

Andrea, Carl and Rick were fighting laughter.

"Which one was the hardest to accomplish?" Carl asked, still curious.

She thought about it." I don't know. They were all equally difficult, for varying reasons. Loki's attack on New York was the most difficult because we had no idea how to stop him or the Cthutari army. We got lucky really."

"How many languages can you speak?" Carl asked.

"I lost count. Around ten, I think."

"Can you teach me?"

"What do you want to learn?"

"Russian or German," he said after a moment of thought.

"I can do that." She nodded.

"How many countries have you been to?" Carl fired off.

Now she laughed. "Too many to count."

"Italy?"

"Yes."

"France?"

"Oh, yes." She smiled.

"What are they like? Or, what were they like?"

"Full of excitement," she said. "Everything you think it will be and more. Everywhere you turn there was a building or landmark or fountain to take your breath away."

"What was your favorite?" Rick asked, speaking up for the first time.

"Madrid," she answered after a long moment. "I was there for nearly a year. Considered moving there at one point. I can't really explain the feeling I got when I entered that city. It all just felt so alive around me, every street pulsing with activity. At night it was so mellow and calm. Some of the best wine I've ever had came from a vineyard there."

She fell silent then, thinking that now the city was probably gone. Crawling with walkers, fallen like every other major city on earth.

Coulson came over the walkie then and let them know the safe house was near. "First checkpoint," he'd called it.

They pulled up to a gate not long after that. Coulson got out to talk to the guard and they were granted entrance.

"Agent Romanoff," a slight man greeted her when she got out. "I've heard so many stories about you. I'm Matt LeShore." He shook her hand. "Most agents think you're either a legend or a myth."

She ignored this. "Thank you for allowing us to stay for the night."

"Anything for the great Black Widow," he said huskily. Rick cleared his throat. "And her friends," Matt added as an afterthought. He glanced at Rick then spotted Steve and walked away.

"I didn't realize 'The Great Black Widow' had been in my group all this time," Rick teased.

She elbowed him. "Shut up before I shoot you."

He put his hands up. "Whatever you say, master."

"I'm getting my gun." She turned and walked into the building, Rick followed her, smiling.

Michonne shook her head, smiling knowingly. Andrea stifled a laugh before they went inside as well.

They were given dinner and a room to sleep in. Natasha was sharing a room with Michonne, but was unable to sleep. At some point she got up and found her way to Rick's room. He and Carl had adjoining rooms but the boy was sound asleep when Natasha entered.

"What are you doing up?" Rick whispered when he shut the door. "We have beds tonight, you should take advantage of that. We'll be back in tents tomorrow."

"I know, can't sleep," she whispered back, hopping up on the wooden desk that was pushed in the corner. She looked over at Rick to find he was staring at her, eyes glazed over.

Natasha suddenly realized she was dressed in only a black silk nightgown with lace around the bust line. It reached to mid thigh but had ridden up a bit when she hopped on the desk. Pepper had packed it for her. It was her favorite nightgown and had never been seen by anyone besides Rick right now.

Rick met her eyes and cleared his throat, realizing he'd been caught staring. "Sorry," he said, avoiding her eyes now.

She tried not to smile at him.

"Was there a reason you came in here?" he asked, still not looking at her. "I mean, besides seduction."

She did smirk now. "Something tells me I wouldn't have to work very hard to get in your pants."

He coughed as if he'd choked.

Natasha grew serious, shook her head a little. "I was thinking about today when Carl was asking me about my missions. You asked me about my favorite city. Somehow I hadn't thought of it as all being gone until then. I know the outbreak hit the whole world and I've seen the destruction with my own eyes but thinking about it being like this in Paris, Rome, Madrid…I always went to Madrid for downtime after a mission. I couldn't do that now because it's like here."

Rick didn't know what to say to this.

"Do you think we can ever go back to normal?" she wondered aloud.

"I don't know," Rick said. "Even if the word went back to how it was, we can't. After all we've seen and done, we're all changed now."

Natasha nodded. "I feel so bad for Carl and Sophia. They've done things they never should have done, grown up too fast. I tried to protect Carl but I just couldn't."

Rick stood up and came to her. "It's not your fault. He's changing with the world. It's bad because of what he's had to do but good because he's learning to adapt. Are we going to talk about what's been bothering you since you got back?"

Natasha shifted, folding her hands in her lap. "I was hoping we wouldn't have to."

"What's going on, Tasha? Gotta admit, I'm a little confused."

"Lori blames me for what happened to Carl and Maggie. I guess I was afraid you would too," she admitted softly.

Rick shook his head. "You've got to stop beating yourself up all the time. You didn't know Carl had snuck into the truck so you didn't even know he was in that town. There was no way you could have prevented him from being shot, that's item one. What happened in the woods when he ran away from you, you were emotional so you're allowed to have your guards down. All that matters is he's alive and safe now. You brought him back to me, that's all I wanted was for you both to come back alive."

Natasha teared up a little at his speech and just sat on the desk shaking her head, unable to form words.

Rick moved closer so his arm found its way around her waist, sliding across the smooth fabric.

Natasha looked up into his eyes. The comfort and honesty she found there warmed her. Rick leaned down to capture her lips with his own. Her hands immediately went to his hair, burying her fingers in the curls.

Rick's hand shifted, gripped her hip to pull her closer. Her legs went around his waist. He moved away from her mouth, kissed her jaw line up to her ear then down her neck. His left hand traced the thin strap of her nightgown, trailing across her neckline and cupped her breast.

Natasha gasped softly, heat pooling between her legs. Her thighs tightened around him. Rick shifted and his hardness was pressed against her throbbing core. She gasped again, he bit down on her shoulder causing her to moan and tighten her hold on him.

Rick traced more kisses down her chest, pushing the top of her nightgown aside to take a nipple in his mouth.

Her nails dug into his shoulder blade and raked down his back. Rick's hands suddenly gripped her thighs and he lifted her further up on the desk. Her back hit the wall, a lamp rocked and fell to the floor. Neither of them noticed it.

Rick's hand snaked under the hem of her gown and cupped her bare ass.

"No underwear?" he whispered, kissing her again.

"No point," she whispered back. He smirked against her lips.

"Dad? I heard- oh my god!"

The pair jumped apart to see Carl in the door way, hands over his face.

"Carl, uh, Natasha just came by to-"

"I know what I saw, you don't have to lie!" He turned and ran back to bed.

Rick's face was red as a tomato. Natasha slipped off the desk, leaning up to kiss his cheek. "Cockblocked again." Then she was gone.

* * *

"Tony?" Bruce called, entering the lab. "I need to talk to you."

"What's up, big man?" Tony asked, keeping his eyes on the computer screen he was working on.

"You have to listen to everything I have to tell you before you say anything," Bruce said.

Now Tony looked up. "Come in and shut the door."

"I didn't tell anyone about this before because I didn't want anyone to worry but I know if anyone will help me, it's you." Bruce sat down.

"Bruce, what the hell's going on?"

"I know we told you about the night we got out of Woodbury," he started. "What I didn't tell anyone was I woke up in a ditch, surrounded by walkers, as Nat calls them. They didn't notice me until I stood up. I found a tree branch and batted them down so I could get away."

"Bruce the Nude Zombie Slayer."

Bruce ignored him. "Tony, I got bit."

Tony paled, his eyes going wide. "Are you turning? Why haven't you already?"

"I'm not, okay, just listen," Bruce continued. "One of them got me from behind and bit me on the shoulder. I killed it and ran off. I knew I couldn't go back to Natasha's group, I couldn't put them in danger. So I went in the first houses I found and decided to stay there until I turned so I couldn't hurt anyone. I even locked all the doors and windows so I couldn't get out. Then I found the radio and tried to make contact with you so someone could come get Natasha.

"But I never got the symptoms. After a few hours I still felt like myself. I went and looked in the mirror and Tony, I was healing."

"That's impossible, the bites don't heal."

Bruce pulled his shirt back and Tony inspected the bite mark closely. "Oh my god, do you know what this could mean?"

"My blood holds the key to a cure."

"We've got to draw blood, run tests, tests subjects." Tony jumped up.

"I'm already ahead of you," Bruce said. He held up a few vials of blood. "All we need is a walker to test it on and a human volunteer."

Tony smiled big. "Come on, big guy, we've got work to do."

**A/N: Alright, so I have about 4 more chapters written after this but I'm a little unsure about them. What do you think of Bruce getting bitten- does his blood hold the key to a cure or is everyone completely fucked? Leave me a review and let me know what you think.**

**~JLL**


	21. It's so Right

**Disclaimer: Don't own.**

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-One- It's so Right**

"_**It should just happen like this  
Trust it so much that there's no one else but us and  
This moment that says it's so right  
'Cause that's all we have in this life"**_

* * *

Natasha found she could hardly meet Carl's eyes the next morning. She and Rick locked eyes once and smirked at each other. When they climbed in the truck to get on the road again, the awkward level went way up.

Rick cleared his throat. "Carl, about what you saw last night."

"I know, you guys were about to have sex."

Andrea snorted, covering her mouth with her hand. She looked out the window, pretending she wasn't there. Natasha's jaw actually dropped and Rick choked on air. Carl continued, "You don't have to explain anything. Daryl told me this morning."

"Daryl?"

"Yeah. He asked me what was wrong and I told him."

"Oh my god," Rick whispered, feeling the urge to hide his own face.

"He told me it's perfectly normal for adults to do things to each other and no one should be embarrassed," Carl finished simply.

"Well, okay," Rick said. "That takes care of that."

Natasha's face stayed red for hours afterward. When they stopped for the night she sent Daryl a glare that promised an ass whipping. He only smirked and winked in response.

"Rick has first watch," he told her.

"And?"

"Just letting you know, in case you wanted to keep him company." He wiggled his eyebrows at her.

Natasha socked him in the arm but he walked away, laughing. When the group went to sleep that night, Natasha stayed away. She fought herself on whether or not to go join Rick on watch. When she didn't make up her mind, it was too late. She heard his footsteps through camp as he went to wake Daryl. He paused outside her tent, so she unzipped it as he started to walk away.

"Something I can help you with?" she asked quietly.

"Just wanted to say good night," he replied softly.

"Good night," she said, raising a challenging eyebrow.

He hesitated for a second, then crouched down and kissed her lips. "Night, Tasha."

She wanted nothing more than to pull him inside her tent, but this was not the place for that.

"You want to come to my tent for the night?" Rick asked. "Carl is in the truck because of the cold."

"Sure," she said, nodding and followed him across the camp.

Rick zipped it closed behind him while Natasha climbed in his sleeping bag. She watched him get undressed, changed into a pair of pajama pants and slipped in next to her.

"No silk nightie tonight," he said sadly.

"It's for formal occasions."

"Formal?" he laughed, wrapping his arms around her.

"It's designed to rub against sheets on a bed, not a sleeping bag on the ground."

"Oh," he said. "Well, next time." He kissed her forehead and they were asleep in minutes.

* * *

They'd been traveling for days and had seen few walkers. The ones they had seen had been far away and not an immediate threat.

When they reached the second safe house, Carl requested a room separate from his father which caused Rick to awkwardly clear his throat while Andrea and Michonne actually giggled.

Before they even got inside, there were screams from the forest.

"What's that?" Andrea asked when the gunshots began.

"Walkers!" someone yelled.

Coulson was shouting for his group to get to the cars. Carl seemed frozen in his spot, terrified when the walkers entered the yard. Natasha screamed for him but he didn't seem to hear. She yanked him forward just before a walker could grab him. There was another one behind her she didn't even see. It got a hand on her arm before she ever saw it. A gun went off and a bullet whizzed past her head, killing it. Natasha looked up to see Rick, gun raised. He fired off a few more shots, allowing Natasha to get Carl into the truck. The group sped away from the scene. No one spoke until Coulson stopped them several miles away to camp.

They decided it was safest to set up only a few tents and everyone else stay in the cars, in case the walkers were closer than they thought. Natasha was in a tent while Rick was supposed to be in the truck with Carl. But after his watch he came into her tent and sat silently by the door.

"Rick?" she whispered. "You can come lay down."

The man gave no indication that he heard her. She got up and moved to sit next to him, her hand rubbed his back but she didn't say anything, didn't ask what was wrong. Just waited until he was ready. If he wanted to tell her, he would.

"When Maggie came to the prison with Steve and the girls, she told us what you did for her," Rick said. "For Carl, everybody. How the Governor tortured you and you just took it. I wanted so bad to go get you. I was ready to load up and search every surrounding town for you and Carl. Thinking about you out there somewhere without me…it made me sick.

"And today, that walker grabbed you and I panicked. Froze up for a second, like Carl did. The sight of that thing with a hand on you, about to bite, I couldn't comprehend it. Ever since then I just keep thinking, what if I had stood there a second longer? Every time I close my eyes I keep seeing you as one of them. I thought you were mad at me because I didn't help you sooner." He sniffed quietly.

"I'm not mad. I just didn't want to distract you," she said, referring to watch. "I let you in here didn't I? If I were mad at you, you would know. I would have shot you."

He smiled a little. She wrapped both arms around him, hugging him tight.

"You can't protect everyone of us all the time, Rick" she told him softly. "You can't save everyone. I thought as a cop, you would understand that."

"I do. But this was my group, this was my job to keep them safe."

This all sounded very familiar to her. "It's not your fault," she told him firmly. He started to protest and she silenced him with a kiss. Her hand reached up to tug on his shirt.

That was all the invitation he needed. Natasha found herself on her back, Rick's lips on hers, his hand creeping under her shirt. He pushed it up and over her head, rough hands exploring the smooth skin of her legs, up her sides and around to her back. Natasha reached for his shirt and it soon lay on the tent floor. Rick's mouth closed around her nipple, his hand caressed the free one. Natasha's fingers tugged at his curls, arching her back against him. Rick moved his kisses south, across her toned belly, pulling off the pair of sleep shorts she had on.

His fingers barely grazed the skin of her thighs. He kissed along the inside, biting down gently before he reached what he was looking for. The stubble on his chin scratched and delighted her. She bit her lip to keep from screaming as he began his work. Stars danced before her eyes as she felt her orgasm building. Her grip on him tightened as she came.

Rick moved up her body to kiss her lips again. She sighed into his mouth, hand undoing the button on his jeans. Natasha used her feet to push his pants down his thighs. He only had do move a little to get them off. Rick kissed her again, moving to kiss her neck. "Just so you know," he whispered. "It's been a while, this may not last long."

Natasha kissed him back. "Make it up to me later."

Rick smiled at her implication, positioned himself and entered her. They tightened their hold on each other, enjoying the sensations washing over them. Rick kissed her, feeling as if he'd explode at any moment. He pulled out and thrust in. Repeated the action and it was done.

He bit Natasha's neck to keep quiet. "Told you," he whispered.

She laughed softly and kissed his temple. "I'll give you another chance."

Rick lay down next to her, holding on tightly. He looked into her green eyes, so calm and full of promise. She smiled a little and set his heart a flutter. So badly he wanted to tell her how he felt but he didn't seem to know exactly what he was feeling. It had been so long since he felt genuine happiness, an emotion that was dangerous in this world.

Natasha lay her forehead against his check, feeling his heartbeat. She was having her own internal struggle to decipher her feelings. With Rick, she felt safe and happy. She trusted him without question. On the other hand, he was a weakness. Someone like her couldn't afford to have weaknesses. The words bounced around her head, danced on her tongue but she didn't say them. She closed her eyes and counted Rick's heartbeats.

* * *

They awoke the next morning, Coulson looking at a map before breakfast.

"How far are we?" Andrea asked.

"We're making good time," he announced. "We're close to the North Carolina border."

"How far until the next safe house?" Sasha asked.

"We'll get to the next one tomorrow, maybe."

"Is this one actually safe?" Abraham snapped.

"It should be," Coulson said, ignoring the attitude. "That group clearly had some issues going on. Let's load up and get on the road." Fifteen minutes later, they were going again. Andrea had decided to ride in the SUV with Michonne, leaving Rick and Natasha alone with Carl.

Rick and Natasha gave almost nothing away that their relationship had gone to the next level. Their constant glances went unnoticed by most of the group. Rick had been sitting by the fire eating breakfast. Natasha walked by past him, her hand barely grazed his back but it sent a wave of electricity through his body. When they were in the truck, Rick itched to reach out and take her hand or rest his hand on her knee but he held himself back, unsure of how she would react to that.

Carl fell asleep in the back, snoring loudly for a boy his size. Rick couldn't hold it back any longer." What are we doing?" he blurted.

She turned to gaze at him. "What do you mean?"

"You and me? What are we?"

"What do you want to be?"

"Together," he answered.

Her heart skipped. "Then we are."

"Just like that?"

"You like me, I like you. We've already done 'adult things' as Carl put its. Why dance around it? We're adults we know what we want."

He looked over and smiled at her, she returned it. Then she surprised him by reaching over and taking his right hand from the wheel and holding it in her lap. They shared a look that made both of their hearts beat faster. Natasha felt like a love sick teenager when he looked at her. Rick was surprised by her all the time. Where she initially came off as cold and distant he had found her to be warm, passionate and quite affectionate. He hoped what they had could last.

* * *

Pepper Potts stood in Tony's lab in shock. "My blood is clear? I'm cured…?"

Tony was nearly bouncing with excitement. "Yes! Look!" He brought some images up on the screen. "This was your blood sample. This is the one we took from Lori, Sophia, Maggie and Carol." He pointed at a dark area in each photo. "That's the virus, parasite, whatever it is." He pushed some buttons. "We mixed our serum with your blood and this is what it is now. The virus is gone."

"Oh my god," she gasped. "Bruce, you're they key. Will it be forever though, it won't come back?"

"I don't think so, but we're going to keep checking. It's been eight hours and it's been clear so far," Tony said. "Let's get the vaccine together for Lori and the others."

"What about Maggie?" Pepper asked. "She's pregnant, would it hurt them?"

Tony looked at Bruce who shrugged. "There's no way to know for sure. Let's not risk it. Wait until Maggie has the baby, give it to them separate."

"Got it," Tony said.

"Does this cure everyone or just the ones that aren't dead?"

"Just us," Bruce answered. "We tested a number of walkers with no results. Once they're a walker they stay that way until they're killed for good."

"What if someone has been bitten and hasn't turned yet?"

Tony and Bruce shared a look. "It may work," Bruce said. "They aren't dead yet but the virus may be increased in their system. We don't have anyone to test it on, though."

"Sir," Jarvisinterrupted. "I may be able to help with that. Agent Hill has just arrived, she's been bitten."

Pepper gasped in shock. She tried to run and get her but Tony stopped her and went instead. Maria was trying not to cry when she came in.

"What happened?" Pepper asked sadly, eyeing the bite on her arm.

"Fury sent us out to clear more of the city," she said. "Fucker came out of nowhere." She slammed her gun down on the table.

"Maria, listen to me," Tony said. "Put your arm out and roll up your sleeve."

She did so with a curious expression. Bruce drew blood from her and passed it to Tony. He then injected her with something in her other arm.

"Sit in that corner please," Tony said. "Pepper watch her but don't go near her."

"What the hell is going on?" Maria demanded. "I came here for you to kill me because I couldn't do it myself."

"We may not have to, Maria, listen," Bruce said. "We may have a cure.'

She sputtered. "What?!"

Bruce knelt down and began wrapping the bit on her arm, explaining how he'd been bitten and the research he and Tony had. They showed her the pictures.

"They've been working night and day on this since they got back from Georgia," Pepper said.

"Will it work on me?" Maria asked.

"We don't know, you're our test subject," Bruce said.

"How do you feel?" Tony asked.

"I have a headache. A little hot."

The men shared a look. Bruce came over and drew more blood. "She's showing symptoms of change but it seems slowed down." A few minutes later, Bruce said, "Give her another dose of the vaccine."

Tony did so without question. After half an hour, Bruce drew more blood and turned to them. "Okay, this is the first sample we drew from Maria, the virus is much more visible than in Pepper's blood. This is the second sample, it's not as potent here. This is the third sample." He smiled wide.

"It's gone!" Maria exclaimed in disbelief.

"It worked, I can't believe it worked," Tony said.

"The virus fought the first dose but the second wiped it out," Bruce explained, staring at the slides.

"Am I cured?" she sputtered.

"I think so," Bruce said. "If you don't mind I'd like to keep you here overnight and take blood every hour just to be sure."

"It's fine, absolutely, oh my god!" She put a hand to her mouth. "I thought I was really done this time." She started to cry.

"You were wrong, you live to see another sunset," Tony said with a smile.

"Just don't say anything to anyone yet, we want to be absolutely certain this will work before we give it out," Bruce said.

"What about Coulson? Shouldn't we let him know?" she asked.

"Late time we spoke with them, Pep, where were they?"

Pepper thought. "They'd just crossed the North Carolina border this morning."

"How much longer till they get here?"

"Depending on the roads and the amount of fuel they have it could be anywhere from a few hours to a few days."

"Let's see how things go with Maria tonight and talk about it in the morning," Bruce decided. He turned back to the blood slides in front of him.

* * *

**A/N: So sorry for the long wait, I was a little nervous about posting this chapter for a few reasons. Please review? ~JLL**


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